Chapter 1 #2
My eyes roll so hard. I finish washing out my cup, place it on the metal drying rack, grab my battered, burgundy computer bag, and walk out the front door. No goodbye, no kiss, no I love you. Typical morning in the Scott household.
I don’t have time to think about this shit, I have three case kids going to court today and a ton of work to do beforehand. Being a social worker at a juvenile detention facility takes a lot of brain power. These kids’ lives depend on me.
I slump into the soft, tan leather seat of my white Nissan Altima and toss my bag on the passenger seat. Seatbelt on. Car, on. Just for a second, I let my head fall against the headrest and close my eyes. Deep breath.
What the fuck am I doing?
Continuing to sit in the driveway, I take in the sight of my house, our house.
Faded mint green vinyl siding, multiple windows with dark green shutters, hedges of pink and red rose bushes, a 2-car garage, a full facade porch, and a white-fucking fence to top it all off.
I stare at our perfect cookie-cutter house that sits in our perfect Hallmark neighborhood, and all I can think is, How did we get here?
Vic and I used to be magic, we used to be more than compatible, we used to be spicy… like real fucking spicy. How did this happen?
Who am I kidding? I know how this happened, how we got here…Don’t go there, Gabbi, not today.
My cell rings through the Bluetooth, breaking me from my thoughts and motivating me to start driving to work. Katrina’s name pops up on the car’s display screen, instantly triggering a smile as I answer, “Good morning, sunshine!”
“What’s up, BI-ATCH!” Eye roll, she’s so colorful in the morning, I don’t know how she does it.
“Oh, someone woke up sassy today.” My sarcastic response gets a giggle from Trina.
“Well, I gotta keep you on your toes, lady,” she says with a chuckle.
“How are you so bright and sunshiny at 7:30 in the morning? After fussing at the girls this morning and dealing with Vic, I just want to go back to bed.” Stopping at a red light, I check my eyes. Ugh, I could give Mary Poppins a run for her money with the bags under my eyes.
“Are you kidding? I’ve already been to the gym, drank my protein shake, showered, and started work… lookin’ fire, I might add. As always.” I can picture her winking at herself in a mirror.
“Trina, gym, work, shower, and protein shake are all at the same place. The gym you work at. You can’t list all those things like they’re in separate places. That’s cheating.” I chuckle.
“Eh, you can’t poo poo on my accomplishments before 8:00 a.m. But seriously, I take it from your comment about Vic that you all are still …” She pauses.
“Complete strangers? Yup.” I sigh, veering onto the highway ramp.
“I don’t know what we’re doing, Trina. I said I would give him six months after retirement from the Army.
Those six months are up in three weeks. I don’t think anything is going to change in three weeks.
I already have the divorce papers; maybe I should just end our misery now. ”
Her voice is a little less peppy, “Oh, honey, I’m sorry. I thought that his being home and you all having time together would give you both, I don’t know….” Her words fade out.
I can feel the sting behind my eyes. “Give us what? Peace by erasing 20 years of Army deployments, late-night phone calls, rescuing drunk soldiers, missed births, empty beds, I could go on.” Wow, that came out pretty aggressively.
Trina stays quiet; she knows I’m venting.
“Sorry, girl, I’m just,” my shoulders sag with a sigh, “tired of caring. I mean, we haven’t touched each other in over six months.
I think the last time we had sex was a year ago, and I don’t even remember if it was good.
Fuck. Trina, we don’t even fight anymore.
” The tears are falling now. Damnit, my makeup.
I sweep my hands under my eyes, sniff, and try to compose myself as I turn into the large parking lot with a sign that reads Oak Knoll Juvenile Detention Facility.
The facility is a large brick building with giant fences surrounding it, topped with barbed wire and all the trimmings a prison would have.
The entrance, however, is all new construction with a big open walkway area, modern pillars, and huge glass windows.
I smirk to myself as my eyes scan the entrance, thinking it looks more like a church or a library than a housing location for troubled and dangerous juveniles.
Trina still hasn’t said anything, and guilt is creeping in full force. “Okay, so now that I have officially put a cloud over your sunny day, I’m gonna hop off. I just pulled into work.”
“Babe,” I can hear her smile. How does she do that?!? “My sun is still shining enough for both of us. I’m here if you wanna chat. I only have like three clients today, so I’m available.”
“Oh, you can chat on the phone while you’re working with clients now? You must be a very talented personal trainer, huh?” I say with a smirk.
“Ugh. Don’t be sassy. You know what I meant. Love you, bitch!” The humor in her voice makes me feel lighter.
“I know. Love you too.” I go to end the call, but her voice rings out one more time.
“Hey, G?” Trina sounds serious. “Just food for thought. You said you gave him six months, but what about you? Are you doing anything on your end to bridge the gap?” I don’t respond.
“I’m just saying, there are some things you should probably be saying to him too…
.anyway, just want you to think about it. ”
There’s that guilt again, rearing its ugly head. My voice is soft when I respond, “I know. Thanks, T. Talk later.” Ending the call, I grab my things and head in to start my day.