chapter fifteen
kira
His eyes harden, and he hesitates a moment. Is he going to stop this? I get my answer as his rough hands grip my thighs, picking me up, my legs wrapping around him. He drops me onto the bed, leaning over me, his dark hair falling into his face.
“I shouldn’t be doing this. You’re way too innocent for the things I want to do to you,” he says, his knee nudging my legs apart. God, seeing him like this is addicting.
“Trust me, I’ m not. ”
He tenses at that.
“What does that mean?” he asks, possessiveness clear in his tone.
“It just means those books you bought me are dirtier than you think.”
He eyes me, a hint of curiosity in his features.
I reach my hand up, feeling him through his jeans. He’s thick and hard, and fuck, I want him inside me. A grunt escapes his lips as he grabs my wrists and pins them above my head.
“Not so fast.”
His lips find mine again, and he kisses me, more intense this time. I pull his bottom lip between my teeth as his hand trails over my body, down to my hips. His hand leisurely traces up my inner thigh, his fingers brushing the edge of my panties. Anticipation floods me as I arch into him.
“Is this what you want?” he growls.
I quickly nod, not wanting him to stop.
“You have to be quiet. I don’t want anyone to hear how you sound when you come for me. Especially not Jared.”
My mind quickly goes to my best friend. He would hate me forever if he knew what we’re doing right now, but I can’t seem to care enough to stop. I want this more than anything.
“ Kira, ” Noah says, waiting for my response.
“I’ll be quiet, I promise,” I tell him. I need him to touch me. I need to touch him.
He stands up, peeling his shirt over his head. His jeans hang low on his waist, and his defined muscles draw my attention lower.
“Look at me, princess,” he says, and I listen. He’s gazing down at me with hooded eyes. I can only imagine how I look, cheeks flushed, dress riding up, my hair a mess. “If you want to stop, we stop. Do you hear me?”
I nod, needing his touch.
“Use your words.”
“Yes,” I say, my voice desperate.
“Good girl,” he says, his voice low as he moves toward me.
His hands drop to my knees, sliding up my thighs to push my dress up even more.
“Take this off,” he demands.
I do as he says, leaving me in only my black lace bra and panties. The bra is sheer, and I thank my past self for choosing this set. Pushing my legs open, he presses his lips to the inside of my thigh, and I suck in a breath.
His eyes meet mine, a silent request for permission. God, seeing him like this is probably the most salacious thing I have ever seen. I give him a small nod, letting him know I’m okay. His hand slides up my other leg to cover my pussy, his thumb brushing over my clit through my panties. My hips rise off of the bed, a small moan escaping my lips.
“Shhh, princess,” he says, repeating the movement. I push into him, needing more friction.
His fingers continue their exploration as he licks and nips up my thigh, each kiss an explosion of sensation. I lace my fingers in his hair, arching into him as he pulls my panties to the side, and his fingers glide over my slick, aching pussy.
“Fuck, baby, you’re already soaked for me.”
My heart flutters at that, but before I can respond, his mouth is on me, his tongue expertly navigating my clit. I grip his hair tighter, trying to be quiet, but fuck, he knows what he’s doing.
“Oh my god, Noah,” I moan.
I know he told me to be quiet, but the music downstairs is loud. No one is going to hear us. Still, he pauses, looking up at me. I get the message, covering my mouth with my other hand. He nods before pulling me tighter to him, his hand trailing up my thigh.
“You’re doing so good for me, princess,” he says, his voice deep, the vibration of it traveling through me.
His fingers play with my pussy, as he kisses up my body, stopping at my breasts. He sucks in my nipple through the sheer fabric of the bra, biting lightly as his fingers push into me. I gasp, and he looks up at me, satisfaction clear in his eyes.
I pull him to me, kissing him slow and deep, his fingers keeping a torturous rhythm. I’m practically panting when he moves back down between my legs, his mouth devouring me. I can feel the tension coiling in my core, white-hot. I’m close, and he knows it.
“Eyes on me. I want to see your face when you come for me,” he orders.
With his thumb on my clit and his fingers deep inside me, my orgasm crashes over me. Despite my best efforts, I let out a moan, and Noah’s hand shoots up to cover my mouth. He’s still pumping into me, and it feels too fucking good.
When he finally pulls his fingers out of me, his eyes are filled with desire. He brushes my hair away from my neck as his lips graze my skin before reaching my ear.
“To answer your question from earlier,” he whispers, “I can handle myself everywhere but with you, princess.”
I try to form a sentence, but I can’t seem to find any of the word s. I ’ve wanted this from him for years, and it was better than I could have imagined.
I sit up on my hands and knees, crawling toward where he stands at the end of the bed. I need to feel him, touch him. I want to make him feel as good as he made me. I reach my hand up, feeling his bare chest. His body is beautiful. He sucks in a breath, eyeing me. I trail my hands down his torso toward his jeans.
But before I can do anything, his hand grabs my wrist. He looks down at me, shaking his head.
“Not tonight. Not with Jared right downstairs,” he says, his voice low.
I look up at him, nodding slowly. A wave of guilt overwhelms me.
What did we just do?
Noah Keller, Jared’ s dad , just gave me the best orgasm of my life but won’t let me reciprocate because I’m best friends with his son. This situation is so fucked up. I don’t know if Jared could ever forgive me if he found out, but I want the man standing in front of me more than I’ve wanted anything else in my life.
As if sensing the turmoil swirling in me, Noah gently tugs me into him, his fingers threading into my hair. He holds me there, not saying a word, his heartbeat steady and grounding against me. He ’ s not rushing this, not treating it like a mistake. He ’ s here with me, in this quiet space between us, and I don ’ t want to let go.
Time seems to slow as his fingers trace small, soothing patterns on my bare back. The warmth of his body against mine is like a balm, easing the ache in my chest. For a brief moment, it feels like we could stay like this forever.
But then, he pulls away. My heart lurches in my chest, the familiar sting of disappointment settling deep in my stomach. Is this really how it ends?
Before my thoughts can spiral, he slides open my dresser drawer and pulls out a pajama shirt. He holds it out to me, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to my forehead. His eyes linger on me for a moment longer, as if trying to say everything he ’ s feeling without words.
“Goodnight, Kira.” With that, he leaves the room, closing my door softly behind him.
The next morning, I pull up to Lakeside Pottery, the sun just now breaking the horizon. Noah wasn’t up yet when I left, and I’ve decided I won’t think about him today. Not the way he looked at me last night or what it could mean. I don’t need that distraction right now.
Today is the second pottery class that I’m teaching . That’s still a crazy thought to me. Ceramics have been such an essential part of my life for the past four years, and being able to give that joy to others is indescribable.
It doesn’t take me long to get set up. I’m alone as Darla won’t be in until ten, but thankfully, we’re only trimming today. Once I’m content with the supplies, I go to find the reason I got here so early.
Walking into the kiln room, I see it on the second shelf, reaching out for me. I grab the hand, pulling it down to examine it closer. I’m so proud of the detail that I put into it. The hand is outstretched, the tendons in its wrist visible, its palm filled with minuscule creases. Now, it’s time to create what it’s holding. I bring the half-finished piece back with me to my workstation. Placing it on the metal table, I stare at it. It could be holding anything.
A snake?
Sounds cool, but no.
A book?
I like that idea, but it still doesn’t seem quite right. My brain runs circles around the topic, not latching on to any one object.
My thoughts are interrupted by a chirping from the other side of the window. The studio is silent otherwise, so it draws my attention. I glance up at the tree outside, not seeing the source. The song continues, and my eyes finally land on a small yellow and black bird.
I know what I want the hand to hold.
Before the class is over, everyone gets their pieces trimmed and ready for their first firing. After most of the students have left, Maddie steps up to my station, her eyes bright.
“You up for some lunch?” she asks.
I’d be lying if I said part of me wasn’t excited to go home and see Noah, but I feel like last night changed things. I don’t think I’m ready to face the rejection I know is waiting for me.
“You know what? Sure. Want to get pizza at that place down the street?”
“That place down the street” is the best pizza place in the Bay Area. I’ve been going there with Jared and Noah for what feels like forever. Their wood-fired pepperoni pizza is to die for.
Maddie looks over at me, mischief in her eyes. “Perfect. We’ve got plenty to discuss.”
I tilt my head in confusion, and then it hits me. She’s talking about Noah. There’s no way she knows what happened last night, but I can’t shake the feeling that she knows something .
It’s tourist season, so when we get to the restaurant, it’s busy. There are people filling all of the tables. Thankfully, we don’t have to wait long before we are seated at a two-person table on the rooftop. The view from up here never gets old. In front of me, the bay is visible in all of its glory.
“ Okay, spill, ” Maddie says, a childish grin covering her face as our waitress brings us our drinks.
“Spill what?” I feign ignorance. I know what she’s getting at. She saw the way Noah was looking at me last night.
“Hmmm, I don’t know, what was it?” She raises an eyebrow as if in deep thought, “Oh, yeah. Maybe how you want to fuck your other best friend’s dad and how he wants to fuck you too?”
I choke on my water. There’s no malice in her tone, and I know she would never judge me, but I still don’t know how to respond. There’s no point in denying it. She’ll see right through it.
“Oh, that.”
She nods at me, waiting for me to elaborate.
“Fine. I’ve always had a crush on him but never thought it would go anywhere.”
“ Until … ? ”
“We kissed. It was the night I ran into Zach, and I told Noah everything. He made me feel so safe, Maddie. I know I shouldn’t be doing this. I know it’s a bad idea, and it’s bound to hurt Jared, but—”
“Woah, slow down, it’s okay.” She takes my hand in hers from across the table. “You know that I would never think less of you for something like this. Besides, I’m all for it. He’s like, Greek god-level hot, and I don’t even like men.”
I let out a breath, relaxing my shoulders.
“There’s more...”
“Do tell.”
“Last night…We may have kissed again, and he may have eaten me out.”
A shriek erupts from Maddie’s mouth.
“ Shhh, ” I say, raising my finger to my lips.
“Sorry, just, wow. Lucky you!” she says with a giggle.
I let myself smile with her.
“Listen, girl, I support you in doing whatever makes you happy. If and when Jared finds out, it will hurt him, but it will only be temporary. I know he’ll forgive you.”
I nod, letting her words sink in. It doesn’t make me feel much better, but it is the reminder I need.
We leave the topic there, and our discussion moves toward the girl she’s been talking to.
“Her name is Lucy. She’s the one I was telling you about that day you canceled on me,” she teases, but the knowing look on her face tells me she isn’t serious.
She knows now what happened that day. And what happened when I was fifteen.
“Are you two a thing, then?” I ask, wiggling my eyebrows.
“Kind of?” It comes out as more of a question than a statement, and I’m instantly hesitant.
“What do you mean, kind of?”
Anyone who is lucky enough to have Maddie would be crazy not to immediately lock her down.
“We haven’t put a label on it yet, but we spend all of our free time together,” she explains.
I roll my eyes, and she senses the suspicion there.
“It’s not like that, I promise.”
“As long as you’re happy,” I tell her, glad she has someone.
Before we know it, it’s been two hours, and the waitress has asked us if we needed anything else about four times, so we decide it’s time to go.
As we’re heading to our cars, Maddie looks over at me, her smile fading.
“Just be careful, Kira. I don’t want you getting hurt.”
Her eyes are genuine, and I know she cares.
“Same to you,” I tell her.
No one is in the living room when I walk into the house. I saw both of their cars in the driveway, though, so I know they’re home. The open sliding door tells me they are most likely on the back porch. Grabbing a glass from the cupboard, I open the fridge and pour myself some of the strawberry lemonade I made again the other day.
I step out onto the deck and feel the sun warm my skin as the smell of the water washes over me. My eyes find Noah immediately.
He’s shirtless, cleaning out the flower bed next to the house. Maddie wasn’t lying about the Greek god comparison. His muscles ripple with his movements, and tattoos only enhance the effect. A thin layer of sweat glistens on his skin as he looks up at me, our eyes locking for a moment before he drops his gaze back to the flower bed.
Arms wrap around me, hoisting me into the air. I instantly recognize them as Jared’s.
“Ew, you’re all sweaty. Put me down!” I squeal.
He laughs, doing as I ask and turning me around to face him. His white muscle shirt is covered in dirt and grass stains with a distinct rim of sweat around the collar. He must have been helping Noah with the yard work.
“I have something for you,” he says, the sunlight reflecting in his emerald eyes. “For your birthday. Let me go get it.”
He runs through the slider into the house, and I take the chance to look back at Noah, but his gaze is already fixed on me. His eyes are filled with a mixture of emotions that I can’t quite identify. This is it. This is when he’s going to tell me that last night was a mistake.
“Here it is!” Jared exclaims as he runs up next to me.
Noah nods toward Jared, and I reluctantly turn to face him. In his hands, he is holding a small gift box with a little green bow. Placing it in my hands, he gestures for me to open it. I untie the bow and open the hinged box, letting out a loud gasp. It’s a gold necklace with my name in a scripted font. It’s gorgeous.
“Thank you so much, Jared, it’s amazing!”
A smile spreads across his face as he looks down at me, his eyes lingering on mine for a beat.
“Want me to put it on for you?” he asks, his voice lower now.
I nod, handing it to him and turning around. Why does it feel like something just shifted? My eyes meet Noah’ s as Jared ’s hands brush up my neck, clasping the closure.
“I tried to give it to you last night, but I couldn’t find you anywhere,” he explains, hurt woven into his words.
My body tenses, a pang of guilt hitting me as images of the night before play in my mind.
Noah focuses on the necklace, his eyes hardening before meeting mine again.
“All done,” Jared almost whispers, yanking my attention back to him. I turn back to face him, but at the edges of my vision, I watch Noah put down his tools and disappear into the house.