Chapter Nineteen
GEMMA
I’m so happy it’s Saturday because the past three days at work have been absolute torture.
I can’t believe I asked Tyler to kiss me and then lost control with him.
I can’t even blame my bad decisions on being drunk.
Of course, I remembered what kissing him felt like, but for some reason, I wanted the reminder.
I needed the reminder. It was just as good as it was all those years ago too.
I was brought back to being two ravenous kids hungry and desperate for each other.
As soon as my body unraveled and I came down from my high, realization hit and so did the guilt.
Cheating was something I never thought I’d do, but I did, and my emotions overwhelmed me as the remorse settled in.
Tyler was so hurt. He had every right to be since I led him on, but it’s no secret I’m engaged.
I’m so damn confused.
Feeling his mouth pressed against mine and allowing the moment to consume me felt so right.
I’m not sure how Robert would react or what he’d do if he found out.
He already hates and judges Tyler, and after their awkward standoff in the lobby, I know it wouldn’t be good.
I wish I could forget it happened, but that’s been impossible.
I’ve never felt a stream of electricity like that with anyone else, only Tyler. And I’d thought after all these years, it’d have dissipated, but it’s only gotten stronger.
Ever since the “incident,” we’ve avoided each other. The only conversations we’ve had have been related to work and to the point. He avoids eye contact, and if I walk into a room, he leaves. At first, I expected it, but now it’s driving me insane.
All week I’ve thought about confronting him so we can finally clear the air, but I can’t do it at work. I don’t want my dad to get suspicious, and it’s better if it stays between the two of us.
Instead of pacing around my house all day, I grab my keys, determined to talk to him. I check the clock and see it’s just past noon. Showing up unannounced is rude, but since Everleigh’s working, it means Tyler will be alone.
My heart pounds rapidly as I drive there.
I haven’t figured out what I’m going to say when I see him, but I’m hoping the words just fall out so we can get past the awkwardness.
Above it all, I owe him an apology and hope he accepts it.
I never should’ve crossed the line. If we were two different people, there’s no doubt the night would’ve ended in my bed.
A part of me wishes it would have, but the other part is glad it didn’t.
It’s nearly impossible to ignore the chemistry between us and pretend the constant tug of emotions isn’t there.
When I turn the corner and see Everleigh’s place, my courage begins to wane, but I have to do this.
I pull into the driveway and see a car parked on the street in front of her condo that I don’t recognize.
Ever since those two men followed me, I’ve been hyperaware of my surroundings.
After I turn off the engine, I tighten my ponytail, then walk to the door.
I find my words and suck in a deep breath, hoping this ends well. We need to find common ground again and move on with our lives. After I press the doorbell, Sassy barks, but I don’t hear anything else.
Growing impatient, I ring it again just as the door swings open.
Tyler stands in front of me with only a towel wrapped low around his waist. Water drips down his chest using his muscles as a path to his happy trail. I bite down on my lower lip, not prepared to get a show before we talked.
“Gemma,” he snaps. “Everleigh’s not here. She’s at the boutique.”
I tilt my head. “Right, but I actually came here to talk to you.”
He doesn’t budge and continues to stand while keeping the door cracked. “Okay, go ahead.”
“Don’t you want to get dressed first?”
I’m tempted to push past him and let myself inside since he didn’t offer.
“I’m kinda busy. Will this be a long conversation?”
With every passing second, I grow more frustrated. He’s not being his typical self and isn’t acting like the Tyler I know. He’s acting like I’m the biggest inconvenience of his life, and honestly, I don’t like this side of him.
“I want to talk about what happened between us the other night. So you want me to stand right here and have that conversation? Or do you want to invite me inside where we can have some privacy?”
He shrugs but doesn’t say anything.
Fine then.
“We need to get back to normal. My dad asked what’s going on because he noticed things have changed between us.
I don’t want him to get suspicious, so can we act like we’re friends at least?
For the sake of working together every day?
” I hate how desperate my voice comes out but talking to him and being this close to him when he looks like that makes me anxious.
Tyler crosses his arms over his chest. “It was nothing more than a heated kiss and a mistake, Gemma. That’s it. You’re engaged, and like you said, it never should’ve happened, so let’s pretend it didn’t. It meant nothing to me anyway, so you can go back to planning the wedding of your dreams.”
Excuse me? My blood boils as my adrenaline spikes. “It meant nothing to you?”
I’m not sure what I wanted or expected him to say, but it wasn’t that. If he’s saying that to hurt me, it’s working.
“That’s what I said. You. Are. Engaged.” He stresses every word.
“I am. But that doesn’t mean you have to lie, Tyler. I felt something, and you fucking did too.”
“Sorry, I didn’t,” he says calmly. “It’d been a long time since I touched a woman, so perhaps you got the wrong signals.”
My breaths are shallow as my anger rises, and when I open my mouth, I see a gorgeous brunette walking down the hallway wearing nothing but a towel.
She smiles wide as I look her up and down.
She rocks a short pixie cut, sleeves of tattoos on both arms, and bright blue eyes.
The woman looks like she fell off the pages of a fitness magazine as she saunters toward us.
She oozes confidence, and the closer she comes, the smaller I feel.
My heart stops when Tyler smiles suggestively at her.
It’s not hard for me to put all the pieces together since they’re both wearing towels.
Fuck, I’m an idiot.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you had company.”
Tyler grips the side of the door as though he’s ready to slam it in my face. “It’s fine. Do you need anything else or are we done here?”
“I guess we’re done.”
The woman moves beside Tyler, and we make eye contact. Her perfect smile has my jealousy burning me alive.
“Hey, I’m Ruby.” She holds out her hand, and I reluctantly take it.
“Gemma. I’m Tyler’s sister’s best friend.”
“Nice to meet you! From what Tyler’s told me, Everleigh’s awesome.”
I swallow hard at how sweet she’s being and know I won’t be able to hate her for having a crappy personality. “She is.” Blinking hard, I stare at how radiantly beautiful Ruby is. “How’d you meet Tyler?” The words blurt out, and I mentally slap my forehead.
“The gym,” she says, which makes sense by how toned her arms and legs are. It’s obvious they have working out in common.
“Alright then,” Tyler interrupts. “Ruby and I have plans, so I’ll see you Monday,” Tyler tells me before shutting the door in my face.
I walk to my car more frustrated than I was when I arrived.
My mind is reeling, and I don’t know why my emotions are bouncing around like a ping-pong ball.
As I back out of the driveway, angry tears stream down my face.
I’m pissed at myself, and my confusion isn’t helping.
When I get home, I sit and turn on the TV, but I’m not paying attention to it. I replay everything when Tyler came over that night. Is it possible that I exaggerated what happened? That I felt something he didn’t, and he was just going through the motions?
There’s no way.
His body responded just as quickly as mine. Did he say it meant nothing because he’s dating Ruby? I flipped out right after he gave me the best orgasm I’ve had in years, then told him it was a mistake. I asked him to forget it and leave. Perhaps I should be happy that he moved on.
Even if he is dating someone, it shouldn’t matter.
Leaning my head back on the cushion, I close my eyes and slowly inhale. I feel absolutely ridiculous for going over there. If I could take it all back, I would. If I hadn’t lost control and gave myself to him, I wouldn’t feel so damn guilty and confused.
It’s never felt that way with Robert, not even in the beginning. And it’s supposed to, right? I’m supposed to feel like I’m floating on cloud nine with fireworks as I succumb to him.
Admittedly, there have been numerous times when Robert couldn’t make me come during foreplay or sex.
With Tyler, my panties were drenched before he even touched me.
Though it’s wrong, Tyler touching me like that is what I fantasize about when I’m alone.
He’s always known my body better than I do and still has every inch of me memorized.
When we were together in the past, we shared more than just a physical attraction. We’ve always had a deep emotional connection, and it made the sex even better. Though we’ve changed, the chemistry between us hasn’t.
I’m a blubbering mess, and I need to calm the hell down.
It’s not too early to drink, is it? Fuck it.
I go ahead and have a glass of wine that soon turns into three, and before long, the whole bottle’s gone.
With heavy eyes, I lie on the couch and watch the Hallmark channel until I fall asleep.
Hours pass and I’m woken by a text message from Everleigh.
Everleigh
Any plans tonight?
Gemma
No. I’ve already drank a bottle of wine.
Everleigh
Girl. It’s only 4 p.m. What’s going on?