Twenty-Two
Draven
T here seems to be a revolving door in my brain that’s being shoved at from both sides. On one side sits logic, on the other lies emotion, and on days like today I fear emotion may win.
That cannot happen.
As much as I wish I could claim her as mine for all to see, I know that puts her and my child at risk so I have to stay logical. Possession, desire, love — these are emotions neither of us can afford, and yet every day I stay away feels harder than the last.
I really don’t mind being her little secret. I’ll shake my brother’s hand with the same fingers that were just inside of her without blinking, but it bothers me when he then leans in to kiss her cheek for their fake ass cover story. I hate seeing her uncomfortable, and I hate seeing her on his arm almost as much. It’s maddening.
A soft knock on my door has my pacing slowing to a stop, and when Miss Maddy enters, I find myself disappointed it isn’t her.
It’s almost never her.
“How are you feeling today, Draven?”
“Peachy. I swear I just shit rainbows like ten minutes ago. Too bad you didn’t come sooner.”
She’s used to my teasing, so I’m happy when it doesn’t faze her. “Always a charmer. I suggest you stop by Miss Harbough’s room as soon as possible.”
Straightening, I lose my poker face so quickly I know there’s no hiding my true feelings. But she already knew. “What’s wrong? Is she okay?”
“Yes, of course,” she rushes out. “But she just got the test results, and I believe you’d rather hear them from her. Just a hunch.”
She winks at me before taking her leave, and I make my way to the hallway right behind her. I don’t have time to ponder the fact that she just basically admitted to knowing I’m the father, because I know her enough to know she’d never sell us out. That’s not who she is. She loves us more than our own dad, and she’ll always have our backs. She’d always choose our happiness.
As I rush over to Sully’s room as nonchalantly as I can, I swear I feel nausea coil in my gut. I don’t know why, I know exactly what she’s going to say and yet the undeniable proof I’m about to get is making me feel things inside I don’t fully comprehend.
I didn’t realize I was actually nervous to be a father, and yet as I stand outside her door and breathe, I can’t deny it. I am. I’ll always be nervous to let her down, and now we’ll have another human relying on us both not to fuck up.
I don’t know how anyone takes something this big lightly.
I don’t knock. I can’t take it anymore, so I shove my way inside and lock eyes with the only pair I ever want to see. “Shay, will you excuse us?”
It’s as polite as I can be right now, when I feel like my nerves are shot and my brain is on fire. But Shay is like a mini Miss Maddy. She knows, she understands, and she hikes her little ass out of the room with nothing more than a quick curtsy.
Sully has the papers in her hands, and she’s shaking. “Little keeper,” I call, taking slow steps toward her until she gives me all of her attention. “You got something for me there?”
Nerves aside, I manage to give her a reassuring smile, one that she returns as her body relaxes. “I do,” she says quietly. “It worked. The results came back over ninety-nine percent positive that the person they thought was Alexander Creed is the father.”
Person they thought. Because it was my cheek that was swabbed that day and it’s my baby inside of her. Mine.
In seconds I’m on her, my mouth pressed against hers as I taste the truth on her tongue. It’s sweeter than pineapple on a summer day, and I don’t care how cheesy that sounds.
She is my favorite flavor.
“That’s my baby inside there,” I growl, kissing down her jaw, throat and chest until I’m sliding her shirt up to kiss along her stomach. “You’re mine.”
“Did you doubt it?” she teases, running her fingers through my hair. “I haven’t been with anyone but you. Not since Jake.”
The mention of him makes me want to kill him again, but I find I’m surprised when I look deep inside and see I had no doubts. I trust her. “No doubts, beautiful.” I kiss her stomach again. “Still feels really fucking good to hear, though. Knowing you have a piece of me inside of you always.” Especially because I can’t always be with you. “I can’t explain it. All I know is it makes me happier than anything else ever has before.”
Hard as stone too, but I keep that bit to myself for the moment. “I’m so sorry it’s happening like this,” she whispers. “You deserve to be a dad out loud.”
Her words have my fingers curling into her hips. I didn’t know I needed to hear her say them, but here we are. In another life I’d be screaming from the mountain tops and killing every man that looks at her. Instead I’m destined to stand on the sidelines and smile like I don’t want to die every time he touches her. “Me too.” It’s not enough to make her feel better, but it’s all I can say on the subject right now. “Have you told him?”
“No. Maddy and Shay brought me the results so I told Maddy to go get you. He can squirm and wait and freak out all he wants. I know he’s your brother, but I really think I hate him.”
It makes me laugh. It shouldn’t, but it does. “Me too.” I don’t, but I haven’t had to be jealous of him in a very long time, and now it’s all I feel. “Because he gets to hold your hand. I’m just the mistress.”
“You are a lot of things, Draven Creed, but you are nobody’s mistress,” she corrects sharply, gripping my chin to force my gaze up. “You’re beautiful and terrifying, loyal and violent. You made this possible by killing Jake and giving Damian access to your father’s system. You stepped up when Alex couldn’t. While he was paralyzed between love and duty, you did what needed to be done, even knowing the consequences. You’re ten times the man he is, and you are nobody’s mistress.”
Again, she feeds me words I didn’t realize I was craving, and I swallow them down like I’m starved. She sees me as the man I never thought I could be, and it gives me hope that I might not be completely fucking this all up. She’s met the dark monster inside of me and yet sees me under a light I didn’t know existed. Those things she’s praising me for... all of them were done because I’m a selfish bastard and nothing more. All of them were done because I want her.
I’m seconds away from telling her to marry me instead. Marry me now before she ever walks down the aisle to him, but I choke on those words knowing the world of shit it would bring down on us. I want her to be my wife, not his, but I’ll take that pain and more to keep her safe.
Marrying me puts her in danger, and I refuse to put her in any situation where she’s more at risk than she already is. My beautiful little keeper is scared enough.
For once... I won’t be selfish.
“I’d be anything you and our mini keeper needed me to be, Sullivan.”
“I know you will,” she says much softer, leaning down to kiss me gently. “I’m just sorry they’re taking this from you too after everything else.”
Standing, I cradle her face in my hands and kiss her again, deeper this time so she feels what I’m about to say more than she hears it. “If you tell me deep down you’re truly mine, they can never take you from me. Not really.”
She huffs, turning her head just enough to kiss my palm. “No one else’s, Dray. We’re both yours, even if it won’t always seem like that.”
It’s all I need to hear for now, so I back her up against the wall and hike her leg up, my fingers finding her soaked pussy before she can even realize what I’m doing, and when she gasps I can’t help but grin. “Always so wet for me. You sure as fuck feel like you’re mine. Say it again.”
Her hand wraps around the back of my neck as she nods. “It doesn’t matter who puts a ring on my finger, Dray. You won. I’m yours.”
“One day it’ll be my ring on that fucking finger, woman. It may take a while, but one day we’ll toss both of those fake promises into my father’s grave and never look back. You will be my wife.”
I shove two fingers inside of her and replay those four words as I curl them: You won. I’m yours.
It’s enough.
They’ll never take her from me.
Hearing her moan, feeling her pussy clench around me... she was made for me. My father can promise her to whoever the hell he wants, but she’ll be mine when the dust settles. The moment I figure out how to protect our child, I’ll burn the world to make her mine.
“Dray,” she gasps, squirming and digging her nails into my skin. “Oh god.”
“Even god couldn’t make you feel this good, little keeper. Only your future brother-in-law knows how to work this pretty cunt the way you love. Now give it to me. Come all over my fingers before you go see your fiancé and remind him that your baby is mine.”
Her head tips back, lips parted and eyes fluttering closed as she gives in. I feel it in the curl of her fingers, the flex of her pussy, the wetness coating my fingers and the palm she just kissed.
I work her through it until she manages to catch her breath again, and even after that I keep my hand cupping her pussy possessively. “That’s my girl.”
She kisses me deeply, not trying to move. “Yours.”
We stand there for a moment with our foreheads pressed together, sharing the air between our lips like neither of us ever want to move, and if it wasn’t for the soft knock on her door I don’t think we ever would. “Thank you for growing my baby,” I whisper.
“Don’t thank me yet, we still have a long way to go.” She fixes her clothes and her hair as she steps away from me, yelling toward the door that she’s coming.
I make her watch me lick my fingers clean, and then grab her hand before she can disappear. “Wait for me?”
I need her to know I’m coming back tonight, so she doesn’t try to stay with Alex to keep up appearances. Not yet. I need her.
“Always.”
Watching her walk away is harder than it usually is, and that’s saying something. I’ve never wanted to be around someone every minute of every day, and now that I finally know how that feels, I’m not allowed to.
It comes with the territory of being the bastard, but unlike all the things in my past, this is the one thing I will fight for.
She’s been used and tossed aside too many times, and that bullshit ends with me. I don’t care what it takes because in the end... that woman will be mine.