Twenty-Three
M y emotions are all over the place as I wait for Draven to come back. Alex reacted the way I assumed he would when I told him the news, and Ephraim relaxed. I’m sure he thinks he’s won. That despite any rumors he may have heard from the staff, Alex got the job done.
He’s got himself another heir, another generation to carry on the good Creed name. I’ve never met anyone who could be so right and so wrong at the same time.
But his ignorance won’t last forever. This is real life, not some fairy tale my father used to read me. Something will happen, he will find out, and everything will fall apart no matter what we do to stop it.
Every decision I’ve made recently has been to save my own life, but it only lasts for a moment. Sooner or later, despite all of our wishing, our hopes and our dreams, we’ll have to face the consequences of our stolen hours and falsehoods.
Or I’ll have to make someone else suffer them for us.
The concept leaves me shaking until I hear the sliding glass door open and see Draven sneak in. He’s here, that’s all that matters right now. He’s here and he’s ours and at least for tonight, he won’t let anything happen.
“Hi.”
The lock clicks as he spins around to offer me a smile. “Hi, beautiful.” He closes the distance to give me a kiss, then bends down to do the same to my belly. “How’s my mini keeper? Playing nice today or making you nauseous again?”
“It’s hard to tell. I’m always nauseous on days I have to see your dad.”
Dray chuckles. “That’s fair. How’d he react? I figure he’s pretty happy to have a legitimate excuse to pass me up in the will so everything goes to his heir’s heir.”
“He seemed relieved.” Reaching out, I take his hand and guide him onto the bed with me. “I know we never really talked about it, but Alex told me about your mom. Do you... think he’d be different if she were still here?”
With a small frown, Draven climbs onto the bed and pulls me to him, exhaling a deep breath before he responds. “Maybe? It’s hard for me to see him being different, but Alex seems to think so. I wasn’t even a year old when it happened, so the man he is today is the only man I’ve ever known. I’ve been told he loved her, but if he did, he’d have lit that bitch on fire for even considering hurting the woman he loved, right? Anything less than that isn’t love. It’s infatuation. He loves himself, his image.”
I wish I could argue with him, or tell him anything at all that might help. But he’s right. If Ephraim truly loved Ella, Verna wouldn’t be alive. At the very least, she wouldn’t be here. “It seems most men become paralyzed when the people they love are threatened. Look at Alex. Maybe Ephraim...” I trail off, shaking my head. “He saved you and that’s the only credit I’ll ever give him.”
“I guess he deserves that much credit seeing as he can’t even look me in the eyes. I’m sure you can guess where the blue came from.”
Her. “My mother’s eyes were blue too,” I admit. “Maybe our little one will rat us out anyway.”
That pulls a small, hushed laugh from him. “Maybe. But back to what you said before about men becoming paralyzed when the ones they love are threatened. That’s not me. I learned that the day I saw another man touch you when you looked upset. Maybe I overreacted a little, but I’d do worse if anyone hurt you now.”
“I didn’t mean you.” Kissing him quickly, I settle against his chest. “You’re not most men. I know that.”
“Glad you know it. I feel like a bitch just sitting aside and watching you fake romance with my brother, but I mean it when I say that will change. It won’t be tomorrow or next week, but when I find a way, I’ll eliminate everyone who’s a threat to you. I know what Verna is capable of, and that bitch isn’t taking another person I care for.” He pauses for a second. “Or I guess I never really got the chance to care for my mom, but at the same time I always will. I don’t know if that makes sense.”
My heart breaks for him all over again. I hold him a little tighter. “Of course it does. She’s your mom, even if you never knew her.”
“It’s weird. I know she’s dead. I’ve always known how too, but I still imagine she’s going to pop up one day and punch Verna in the face. Is that dumb?”
“It’s not dumb. I think we all look for justice, for the universe to right the wrongs we experience. In your case, nothing would right it more than Ella coming back and putting Verna in her place.”
He kisses the top of my head a couple times, making me wish I could see his face. “How do you always know what to say to make me feel better?”
“I don’t,” I laugh quietly. “I hardly ever know what to say. I’m used to comforting people with my body, not my heart.”
“I’m glad I get both. You’re so much more than this gorgeous, perfect, addictive body.”
Now he’s just flattering me.
But it’s the first time in my life that a man has insinuated I could be anything more than a chess piece or a doll, so it’s not something I take lightly.
Rolling over, I straddle him and look into those mesmerizing blue eyes. “You’re not like most men and I’m not what I’ve been made out to be. What a pair we make.”
“What a pair,” he repeats with a grin. “I can’t wait to see what we create. I hope she’s like you.” Draven’s expression changes to something of surprise at what he just said. “I didn’t mean to say she. I think my natural instinct is to want the opposite of what my father wants, so I slipped. I hope they are like you.”
If I had any doubts left, they’re gone now. He’s nothing like his father and his brother, who both believe men are superior. That female heirs don’t count. It’s pretty clear that Draven doesn’t care about lineage or heirs at all, he just wants a family, but still. Even if his motives are skewed, just hearing him say that makes me feel better. “You’re a good man, Dray. No matter what this baby is, they’ll be lucky to have you.”
“You’re the first person aside from Miss Maddy to ever call me a good man, and you two people are the only ones with opinions I care about. So I’ll do my best to believe it, and in the meantime, I will be working toward a future where this baby will call me daddy. Not uncle, not father like they’re my underling. Daddy. I give you my word, that by the time they can talk, that’s what they will call me.”
That gives us a couple of years to set things right. If we save, if we’re careful... we can be far away from here before they say their first words.
But that feels too easy for Ephraim, for Verna. Even for Alex. Maybe it’s the hormones, but I want them to understand how backward they are. How cruel and ridiculous they’re being, and for what? Why wouldn’t Morella have been a suitable mother for his grandchild? She’s a gardener, sure. But she’s gorgeous, smart, and capable. And Alex loves her.
It’s not about anything but control with them, and I have such a deep seated urge to take it from them that I almost can’t stand it.
So yes. One way or the other, by the time our child can speak, we’ll be away from here.
“Can I call you Daddy?” I ask, teasing just enough to lighten the mood. “You look like a Daddy.”
That brings out that deep sultry laugh I’ve grown to love. “Absolutely not.” But I feel what it does to him between my thighs and catch the subtle blow of his pupils. “Or maybe... toss it in every so often.”
He bites his lip, lighting up his face with a playfulness that changes the air around us. His moods are contagious, infectious.
“I’ll call you anything you want if you promise to keep looking at me like that.”
“Anything, huh?” Those skilled hands slide up my thighs as he leans in to kiss along my throat. “If I’m looking at you half as good as you’re looking at me, then I get what you mean. Going to take a wild guess and say you don’t want me calling you mommy in bed though.”
My nose scrunches as my stomach turns. “No, no. Please don’t ever do that.”
Suddenly I’m on my back, my hair falling over my face from the abrupt movement. “But I have mommy issues,” he playfully wines. “Come on, mommy.” Laughter takes over the word as he fails to keep up his facade, but I’m relieved when he meets my gaze. “I probably shouldn’t joke about that, huh?”
“She’s your dead mom, you can joke about her if you want.”
“Good, because I’ve already shed all the tears I had for her absence. Verna told me what she did when I was six years old. I didn’t even fully understand it, but I know it made me sad and I mourned her in the best way I could. I couldn’t protect her and I know that wasn’t my fault. She died holding me, and knowing she even cared to hold me was enough. It was more than Verna did for Alex, so she gave me more in those nine months together than Verna has in thirty-four years for him. I’ll always have a place in my heart for my mom, but you’re the only woman in the world who can hurt me now.”
It’s a lot to take in, it is. It proves that Verna is every bit as vile as Ephraim, that Draven has never known love, that he’s giving me power I don’t deserve. I kiss him once, twice, not looking for sex but for a silent promise that I’ll do what I can to keep him safe. “One way or the other, Dray. You and I will make it out of this and it’ll all just be a memory.”
“We will. They can try all they want to come between us, but it won’t work. You could never escape me.”
It’s a threat as much as a promise with him, and I know that. Men like Dray don’t cease to be killers just because they’re in love, and men who have been deprived of love can get a little psychotic when it’s taken away. I’m not blind. I know what I’m getting with him, the good and the bad, and I won’t blink.
I’d rather have a lion at my side than a lamb.
JULY