Chapter Nine
Gage
As soon as the last bell rings, I head straight for the gym, my thoughts churning in frustrated circles. I want to run straight to the parking lot to find Troian and ensure she doesn't try to walk home or catch a ride with someone else, but I need to take care of this first.
I find Victoria and her little posse of cheerleaders heading toward the locker room to change for practice.
"Victoria!" I shout, my voice echoing around the empty gym.
Her whole group falls silent, turning to face me.
I don't give her a chance to come to me. I stomp toward her, wanting witnesses for what I have to say to her. She won't be able to misconstrue it or lie her way out of it that way.
"I heard what you told Troian today," I say as soon as I close the distance between us.
"I don't know what you're talking about." She rolls her eyes at me. "I haven't even talked to your weird little stalker today, Gage. She's not worth my time."
"Right." I lean against the wall, smirking at her. "Kind of like how studying for the SATs wasn't worth your time either, right?"
"What" Her brows furrow, unease shifting through her gaze as she tries to figure out what I know. "You sound more delusional every day."
I don't tell her what I know right away, letting her stew in it as I take another step toward her, my hands shoved into my pockets.
"I've warned you a thousand times to leave Troian the fuck alone, but you refuse to listen, so I'm not warning you anymore, Victoria.
The next time you or a single one of your friends says a goddamn word to or about her, your parents, school administration, and the police will know exactly how you scored so high on the SATs that you bombed the first time. "
"As usual, I don't know what you're talking about, Gage," she says.
I can tell by the way her voice shakes that she knows exactly what I'm talking about, though.
She didn't retake the test. Her older sister took it for her, and they weren't smart enough to pick a testing facility far enough away to ensure no one from our school would be there on the same day.
I was, since I missed the first test date for movie shit last year.
"Right," I smirk at her, leaning forward like I have a secret to tell her.
Her friends lean in around us, trying to hear.
I pitch my voice low, ensuring it doesn't carry beyond our little group.
"I tested on the same day and at the same facility.
You weren't there. Cassidy was, though. You two may look enough alike to fool someone who didn't grow up with you, but you can't fool me.
" I pause. "You won't be able to fool the cops when I have photo proof, either. "
Victoria jerks like I slapped her, her entire body going rigid. She's pale, her face drained of color as she tries to come up with a lie or some excuse that'll save her ass. There isn't one, though. Not this time.
I'm done playing nice with her. If I have to take her and her sister down to shut her up, that's precisely what I'll do.
"Gage, I…"
I smirk viciously when she trails off, unable to come up with a damn thing to save herself.
"Stay the fuck away from Troian, Victoria.
I'll never choose you over her. That girl is my whole goddamn heart.
You're just a bitch I can't wait to never see again.
And I will ruin your life with a smile on my face if you even look at her again. "
For once, Victoria and her friends are dead silent. Victoria doesn't say a word. She just nods, actual fear in her eyes, as if she knows that I'm not just threatening her. I'm fully prepared to follow through to ensure she never says another goddamn word to or even looks at Troian again.
Maybe I could have let her get away with cheating her way to college before. It's what Troian would have wanted me to do, because she isn't vindictive or cruel. Even when Victoria is a world-class bitch, Troian never tries to hurt her. But I'm not Troian.
She called my girl a thing today, like she isn't even human. My girl ran out of the library, so broken down by this chick that there was no light in her eyes, no fight or fire. For the first time, she was just…defeated.
I'll destroy Victoria's life if that's what I have to do to protect Troian. It's what I should have done a long time ago, even if Troian would have hated me for it.
I shoot a sharp, warning glance at Victoria's friends, daring them to test me.
They shrink back, just as pale as Victoria is.
I don't know how many of them knew what she did before today.
Honestly, I don't really care. She controls them like they're puppets on a string, and they let her do it. They can sink together for all I care.
I spin on my heel, preparing to head out, only to stop when I see Troian lingering just inside the doorway, her eyes locked on the scene before her.
Fuck. How much did she hear?
I quickly decide it doesn't matter. Everything I said was the truth. She is my heart, and I will ruin Victoria's life if she doesn't back the fuck off. Troian doesn't have to like it. I already know she won't. But she's suffered long enough. I'm not letting it continue.
Her gaze shifts from me to Victoria and then back again, nervous and full of questions, as I jog toward her. Victoria, wisely, keeps her head down, her eyes on the scuffed floor at her feet.
"You ready to go home, butterfly?" I ask, tipping my head down to look at Troian when I reach her side.
"I…" She bites her lip and then nods, allowing me to lead her from the gym. Halfway out the door, she glances over her shoulder at Victoria again, her eyes full of worry, but she doesn't ask.
She finally breaks when we're halfway to her place.
"What do you have on her?" she asks, the first words she's spoken since she climbed into the truck beside me.
"It doesn't matter."
"It matters to me," she argues softly.
I hesitate and then sigh. "Remember how she bombed her SATs last year but then did really well when she took them at the beginning of this year?"
"Yeah. So? She studied this summer."
"No, she didn't. She didn't take the test the second time, butterfly. Her older sister, Cassidy, did."
Troian blinks wide eyes at me. "How do you know?"
"I tested the same day. Victoria wasn't there. Cassidy was."
For some reason, my comment makes her flinch. She curls in on herself, hiding behind her hair, but I feel the hurt pouring off her, and I don't understand it.
What did I say?
"Talk to me," I plead quietly when she says nothing, not even when we pull in her driveway. "Tell me what I said that hurt you."
"Who says you hurt me?" she asks, her voice whisper-quiet as she reaches for her bag.
"Troian, please."
She huffs a sigh. "Why didn't you tell me about this earlier?"
"What?"
"You took the SATs in August," she whispers. "It's March."
"I…" I mutter a curse. "I didn't want to have to involve you. I figured the less you knew, the better, especially if…"
"If what?"
"If I decided to use it," I say as I meet her gaze.
"I've been sitting on it all this fucking time, hoping she never pushed far enough for me to want to destroy her life because I knew what you'd say about that.
I knew you'd want me to be the bigger person, so you'd try to talk me out of doing it.
Maybe I didn't want to be talked out of it.
Maybe, just once, I want her to live in terror the same goddamn way you have since transferring here. "
"I don't live in terror."
"No? You certainly don't live in joy, either.
You hate going to school. You hate going anywhere she might be.
I'm fucking sick of her hurting you because she's a jealous bitch who knows she'll never be half as incredible as you are.
So I sat on it, and I waited, hoping I wouldn't have to upset you by using it.
But I'm done asking, butterfly. I'm done telling her off and being a dick to her when she just doesn't fucking get it.
If I have to destroy her to make her back the fuck off and leave you alone, I'll do it.
" I blow out a sharp breath. "I should have done it as soon as I realized her sister was testing for her that day.
Maybe then you'd have one decent memory of your senior year. "
"I have decent memories."
"Yeah? Name one?"
She's silent for a moment, and then she just shrugs, which breaks my fucking heart because she can't think of a single day when Victoria wasn't making her miserable. Not one. "She doesn't matter, Gage."
"She made you cry today."
"That's…not important."
"It is to me." I reach across the console, brushing hair away from her face. "It breaks my heart every single time you cry."
"I doubt that."
"You think I don't care?" I ask, my goddamn stomach hurting at the thought.
"I…I don't know." Her tongue skirt nervously across her bottom lip. "Why didn't you tell me that you were auditioning for the movie last year? Or that they offered you the role?" she asks, her voice so soft I barely hear it.
"Fuck," I groan, closing my eyes. "I picked up the phone fifteen different times to call you, but it sounded so stupid in my head."
"Why?" She blinks at me. "I was so proud of you when you finally told me.
I was just hurt because I didn't understand why you kept it from me.
" Her bottom lip quivers. "I thought we told each other everything, but you've been keeping all these secrets from me.
Maybe I think it's because Victoria is right, and you don't really see me as a friend. "
"Jesus," I rasp, my voice shaking. I'm such an asshole. In a thousand different ways, I've hurt her without even meaning to or trying to do it. If she's done with me now, I won't blame her. I'll never forgive myself for it or get over her, but I won't blame her.
"You've always been the most important person in my life, Troian.
It kills me that you don't know that. I didn't tell you that I was offered the part until it was a done deal because I was embarrassed to admit that I was willing to turn myself into a goddamn movie star just to feel like I could measure up to you," I admit.
She blinks again, her expression shocked. "You think you don't measure up?"
"To you, Troian," I say gently. "I don't measure up to you."
She stares at me like she doesn't understand.
And I'm sure she probably doesn't. She's never seen herself clearly, not the way I do.
She's had our classmates filling her head with bullshit for the last four years, and somewhere along the way, she started to believe them.
But they've always been wrong about her.
They've been wrong about me, too. Out of the two of us, I'm the one who doesn't deserve her time and attention. I never have.
"Your parents are millionaires," I explain, my voice soft. "And no matter how hard I work, it'll be years before I'm ever able to give you even a tenth of what they do. I want to be good enough for you, and I never have been."
She stares at me, her lips slightly parted. "You really think that?"
"I mean…yeah. Have you looked at yourself lately?
" I quirk a brow at her. "You're gorgeous.
You're funny. You're so fucking smart that no one else can even keep up with you.
Our classmates are fucking stupid. They look at us and think that I'm the one worth something because I play football and have a movie deal, but that's because they can't see past high school bullshit.
The ones who do, though? The ones who realize there is more to life than our campus and the drama that goes with it?
They see you clearly. They know you're the real star. "
I brush my thumb across her cheek. "You've always been the star, butterfly. And I've always just been the guy grateful to stand in your shadow. I've always been the one hoping you'd notice me standing there and give me your heart."
"Gage." Her expression does this thing where it wobbles between hope and devastation. "You've never been in my shadow."
"I have." I smile at her, running my thumb over her soft bottom lip. "It's okay, though, baby. I'd rather be in your shadow than anywhere else in the world. With you is my happy place. It's where I'd choose to be every goddamn minute of the day."
"I was going to ask you to Prom yesterday," she blurts and then squeezes her eyes closed, almost like she regrets saying it or is afraid of what I'll say in response.
And I, desperately, want to tell her everything right here and now.
But…she deserves the big declaration. She deserves for everyone to know, once and for all, that she's my choice and always will be.
I'll get on my knees in front of everyone for her.
I'll beg in front of everyone for her. That's not a hardship.
Losing her is a hardship. It's a goddamn tragedy that I don't think I'll ever recover from.
It doesn't matter if we're young. It doesn't matter if we have the whole future ahead of us. She is my future, the one thing I've always been absolutely sure of.
When I close my eyes and think about what my life looks like in ten years, in twenty years, in fifty, she's always at the center of it. It's always her face I see. I know that isn't going to change.
"I'm sorry I ruined it." I tip her face up, forcing her to look at me. "I'm not going with anyone else."
"But you said…"
"I know. I know I owe you answers and an explanation, and so much more. And I know I have no place to ask you for anything right now, but I'm going to ask anyway, baby. Can you give me until Friday before you decide to go with Corey?"
"I already asked him," she whispers regretfully.
"I know. Just…give me until Friday. If you still want to go with him after that, I'll back off. I won't like it, but I'll accept it if that's what you really want. Please?" My heart is in my throat while I wait for her to decide.
She scrutinizes my expression, hesitating, and then she nods, just once. "Until Friday."
I lean forward, brushing my lips across hers in a soft kiss, one far softer than the one I want to take. I want to consume her, just keep kissing her until I'm starved for oxygen and she's the only thing in my lungs. But…not yet.
I have to do this right.