Chapter 19 #2
We followed him, and our footsteps echoed around us.
My gaze wandered upward as we carried on down the endless hall.
The ceiling was incredibly high, and it was lined with huge columns.
My lips parted the second I saw what sat upon each column at the very top.
Hundreds of stone gargoyles perched atop the mighty pillars.
Since the gargoyles were all currently stone, they were dead for all practical purposes, and if they were anything like fae lands’ gargoyles, they would only come awake at dawn if they’d leeched enough life from another creature’s life force.
Amazed, I couldn’t help but ask, “How many gargoyles are employed by these libraries?”
“At the moment, four hundred and eleven.”
The end of the hall finally neared, and the scent of anise and thyme grew even stronger in the air.
Nicholas led us to a set of huge double doors and opened them for us. “I have a table already set up to record more information inside here. This is the Veritas Library, one of the five libraries within these depths.”
The second I stepped over the threshold into the actual library, heavy aromatic magic shimmered in the air around me, and when I fully pushed through to the other side, the air felt even heavier, and I realized that even the air in these libraries helped with preservation.
My scholarly mind once again became abuzz with interest, and I eagerly followed Nicholas to a table, not even trying to hide my vampire speed since in this realm, I didn’t have to.
Once the three of us were seated, Nicholas picked up a very thin and short tube and held it over a sheet of thin-looking white parchment. “Now, tell me more about this potion that turned you.”
I recounted everything that had happened to me at my uncle’s estate, recalling as much as I could about my transformation and first feeding.
Using his foreign tube device, Nicholas wrote down my recollections, his writing apparatus flying across the page as he used his vampire speed to document everything I was telling him.
Kole, to his credit, didn’t even flinch when he heard that I’d fed from a young female, and even though I knew I needed to keep telling Nicholas what we’d learned since then, including everything we’d uncovered on the Isle of Song, I couldn’t help but pause to ask, “Is it always like that? Do you always hear everyone’s heartbeats, smell their blood, and have . . . cravings?”
I didn’t know how to delicately ask about my sexual urges, but given Nicholas’s knowing look, I was guessing he understood what I was alluding to.
“Yes, it’s always like that. Time doesn’t change that, unfortunately, but you do learn to control your urges better as you age, and a living creature’s heartbeat and blood won’t always hold as much sway over you, but I’m afraid the pull of all of those things never goes away.”
Shame again filled me, even though I knew my current state wasn’t my fault, but it still meant that for all time, I would crave sexual experiences with others, and it absolutely killed me to think of putting Kole through that.
The way I’d reacted to Nathaniel in Kole’s presence was bad enough, but to think that would keep happening again and again . . .
Worst mate ever.
I twisted my hands in my lap. “There’s no chance of taking something to curb one’s impulses?”
Nicholas’s eyes dimmed. “I’m afraid not. It’s the curse of being a vampire that we all deal with.”
I thought back to all of the time other fae’s blood had called to me, and how I’d fled to avoid feeding on anyone again. Fleeing was how I’d been dealing with everything. But sooner or later, I would have to feed. I couldn’t go indefinitely without more blood.
Hesitantly, I asked, “Have you ever . . . killed someone? Accidentally? When you were feeding?”
Nicholas inclined his head. “Most vampires do at some point in their lives, even if they never mean to. When you encounter someone whose blood has a certain flavor, and it calls to you, it’s hard to resist the pull.
Those are the times vampires have drained their victims, even if their intention was simply to feed a normal amount.
And I can tell from how you look right now that you’re terrified of doing that to another.
Tell me, how many times have you fed since you were turned? ”
I licked my lips. They felt dry, but they always did these days, and even though my jaw ached constantly, so far, I’d managed to control myself. “I haven’t. I’ve only drunk from that one female so far.”
His eyebrows shot up. “Truly? But you were turned nearly a week ago, correct?”
I nodded. “Yes, but even though I’ve wanted to feed, I haven’t allowed myself.” I gave Kole a side-eye.
Kole’s expression was intense, his attention keenly focused on the two of us, but even though he didn’t speak, his aura spiked and was clearly detectable in the library’s heavily infused magic.
Nicholas shook his head. “That’s remarkable.
Normally, newly turned vampires have a hard time controlling themselves.
Most drink from at least ten to twenty other vamps, humans, or supernaturals within the first few weeks of being turned, and new vamps usually fuck just as many.
Do you mind if I ask how many sexual encounters you’ve had since being turned? ”
I was pretty certain that if I were still fae, my cheeks would have been burning with embarrassment. “Only him.” I nodded toward Kole, and I could have sworn that the energy around him calmed.
“Fascinating.” Nicholas ran a finger along his chin. “I can’t help but wonder if that’s because you’re a full-blooded fairy and not a human or supernatural. Perhaps it’s different for fae. Maybe your kind wields more control over their vampiric nature.”
I thought back to all the times my urges had threatened to overtake me. “I don’t know if I could claim credit for that, but Kole’s my mate. I haven’t allowed myself to act on any of my urges because I don’t want to hurt him.”
Beneath the table, Kole’s palm settled on my thigh, and he squeezed.
Nicholas shrugged. “Regardless, you’ve done very well as a new vamp. I’m quite impressed by your control, but perhaps you’re right, and your control is because you’re mated and not because you’re a fairy.”
“Well, technically, we haven’t fully enacted the mating bond yet. We just both know it exists.”
Nicholas leaned back in his seat, his expression again morphing into one of confusion. “You’re mates, and you’re both aware of that, but you haven’t acted on it to seal your bond?”
“No, not yet. It’s a long story as to why that is.”
Nicholas tapped his chin with his writing apparatus. “Interesting. I’ll make note of the fact that you’re mates without a completed bond, and I’ll see what we can find about that. Now, where were we?”
I returned to telling him what we’d learned in our library’s ancient writings, about Tenevris and Heleveer, and what my uncle had written in his handmade book about his findings and the potions he’d subsequently created.
And most importantly, I implored Nicholas to help us discover a way to stop Arnel from controlling me.
I explained how my magic was being used by my uncle and how that was dangerous for all fae in our realm.
“His power is absolute with me as his slave,” I explained.
Nicholas’s expression turned grave. “If only it were an easy fix. Some vampires have tried hiring someone to kill their Maker, in hopes of breaking their hold on them, but alas, a Maker’s command still holds after it’s been cast. Even in death.”
“But not in a new realm,” I countered. “His commands don’t hold any power over me here.”
Nicholas nodded. “Yes, it is interesting that your Maker’s commands aren’t affecting you here.
Truth be told, that’s new. Most commands follow to the fae lands, but you’re also not a normal vampire.
You were created from a potion, not a bite, which I believe if why Major Fieldstone advised Warrior Swordwielder to bring you here to see how you reacted. ”
I gave Kole a grateful smile. “Thankfully, Major Fieldstone’s advice was wise, but tell me something if you would, how do you handle your Maker’s commands? It seems near impossible that anyone would ever want to be a vampire given how awful it is.”
He sighed. “Being a vampire does have its perks, believe it or not, and even though my Maker is no longer with us, thankfully, she wasn’t a sadist, as it sounds like your Maker is.
Most vampires never experience the horrendous commands that have been put on you.
I was never given such specific commands as you’ve been given, so her control of me wasn’t as intense.
But I was a lucky one. There have been evil Makers in the past, and unfortunately, all of their children had to be euthanized once it became known that they couldn’t stop from acting on their Maker’s wishes even upon that Maker’s death.
In our realm, that fact is well known, so vampires no longer try to wield control like that over their children.
Well, at least if they do, they know it’s going to be short-lived.
Eventually, the SF catches up with them, and they’re all killed.
Most Makers no longer take that chance.”
Kole growled low in his throat. “So this won’t be solved simply by me murdering her uncle?”
My jaw dropped. I hadn’t even considered asking Kole to do that, but he was right to suspect that it might stop everything.
Nicholas frowned. “Sadly, no, that won’t stop the commands.
Primelle will still be compelled to forever erase the memories of those around her who begin to suspect that she’s a vampire or that her uncle is behind it.
The only way that would ever stop is if Primelle was killed or magic suppression was used on her so she wasn’t able to wield those commands over others. ”
Kole’s energy turned entirely deadly. “Primelle being killed or ingesting magic-suppression potions are not options.”
Nicholas inclined his head. “I agree. Primelle is truly innocent in all of this, so we’ll endeavor to find a way to help her.”
But Nicholas’s tone wasn’t hopeful, and I had a feeling he would search their libraries simply to appease us, but he didn’t think an actual solution was possible.
My stomach fell, and I sagged in my seat. “It sounds like it’s entirely impossible to find a way out of this. That I’ll either forever be a slave to my uncle or that I’ll be suppressed so much that I’ll no longer be a functioning fairy.”
Nicholas patted my hand. “We’ll still search. You never know. We may find something new.”
“But what about being turned back into a fairy? Would that be possible?” I asked hopefully. “Even if we can’t find a way to stop my Maker’s control of me, perhaps instead, there’s a way for me to no longer be a vampire? Then his commands wouldn’t work.”
Nicholas’s eyes shuttered. “That I can answer with one hundred percent certainty, Princess Primelle. Nobody has ever found a way to undo becoming a vampire. Many have searched for answers before you, but I’m afraid it can’t be undone.
Once you turn into a vampire, it shall always be so, unless the Great Death takes you, and then you venture to the afterlife. ”
“Oh.” I sat back, unable to say more. Because hearing that, hearing that I would forever be a vampire from now on, no matter what, had the tiny hope inside me dying that perhaps one day I would be able to find a way to undo all of this.
Other than asking Master Fistideeous to search for a way to undo my vampiric curse, I hadn’t voiced that wish to myself or anyone else, but it’d always been there. From day one of my turning, I yearned to be fae again. To be normal. But it didn’t seem that destiny was on my side.
Forcing myself to look at the bright side, I gave Nicholas a hopeful smile. “Actually, I think there is one way around it. The Wishing Stone.”
His expression remained blank. “What is the Wishing Stone?”
I explained what the magical relic was to Nicholas and how the Stone’s wish had allowed my uncle to turn back into a fairy.
“He’d been morphing into a vampire, so if nothing else, perhaps when the next Wishing Stone arrives in a millennium, I’ll find that one too and be able to use it on myself and become fae once more. ”
Interest grew in Nicholas’s eyes. “I’ve never heard of that Stone.”
“I doubt many here have. It’s something that only occurs in the fae lands as far as I know.”
He opened his mouth, as though he was going to ask another question, but a vibrating sensation shook the library’s walls. I tensed, and my head lifted in vampiric speed as everything began shaking around us.
Eyebrows slanting together, Kole asked, “What’s happening?”
Nicholas grinned and inclined his head toward the door.
“That would be the gargoyles awakening. The new day has arrived.” He glanced at a clock on his wrist and collected his thin pieces of parchment.
“I believe you’ll be needing to head back to the fae lands soon, but I’ll task Masters Romanus, Ambrose, and Godric with finding what they can today regarding vampire magic that originated in the fae lands and that also may be based in fae legends and lore.
With any luck, I’ll have some answers soon for you on how you can best survive in your new role while also endeavoring to find a way to break your Maker’s control of you. ”