Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
Nicholas was correct that our time was running out and that we needed to return to the fae lands.
But since we’d given him all of the information we had, at the moment, there was nothing further for us to do.
Now, we simply had to wait to see if the Bulgarian Libraries held any information that could help us.
When we stepped out of the Veritas Library into the hall, hundreds of gargoyles were climbing down the huge stone columns or already walking through the hall. Similar to gargoyles in the fae lands, they also wore long robes, and their faces were just as hideous to look at.
Several passed us, already in deep discussion as they entered the libraries to get to work.
Nicholas clasped his hands behind his back. “I shall consult with my gargoyles, but while I go find them, you must wait here. Guests are not allowed to wander freely, so no ambling off.” With that, he disappeared in a burst of vampire speed.
Alone in the hall, Kole drifted closer to my side and placed a hand on my lower back. Leaning down, he said quietly, “I don’t blame you for how you reacted to Nathaniel. I understand it now. I know it’s not something you can control.”
“You do?” I turned hopeful eyes up at him.
He nodded, and I sagged against him, so grateful that he’d grasped the full story and understood just as readily that my sexual urges toward others weren’t reactions I wanted either. “Thank you, but I wish I could stop it. I wish I could control my responses better.”
His hand moved soothingly along my back. “It’s not something you can control, so you shouldn’t blame yourself.”
“With you not blaming me anymore, it’ll likely be easier for me to forgive myself.”
“I just hope my understanding holds, and I don’t promptly forget everything once we return home,” he said dryly. “But if I get angry again for how you react to another, I’m sorry.”
My thoughts drifted to what Nicholas had told us and how impossible everything felt.
Killing Arnel wouldn’t stop his hold on me, although it would stop future commands.
But the commands he’d already placed on me would forever be etched into my soul, which meant that Kole would never fully know me, not indefinitely, if I had to erase his memories once we returned home.
That meant that Kole and I would have to return here to the other realm over and over, and I’d have to tell him the same story again and again for him to know what I’d become.
I wished with everything I had that the solution to all of this would have been as easy as killing Arnel. I knew that Kole would have gladly murdered my uncle immediately, but since that wasn’t a complete remedy, I didn’t know what we could do.
But I straightened and forced a beat of positivity into my soul.
Perhaps there was an answer somewhere, and we just had to find it.
After all, Nicholas did say it was unusual that Arnel’s control didn’t follow me into their realm.
So it was possible, given my full-blooded fae lineage, or because of the fact that Arnel had made me into a vampire with a potion versus a vampire’s bite, that I wasn’t exactly like other vampires.
The way I’d been turned was entirely unique, so there was still hope.
I held firmly onto that reminder.
“You should feed,” Kole said quietly to me.
That statement snapped my attention completely away from my problems. “What?”
“You told Nicholas you’ve only fed once. You need to feed again. You can’t go indefinitely without blood.”
He said it so casually, so matter-of-fact, but I still grimaced.
“I know, but I don’t want to hurt anyone.
I never want to do to another what I did to that young female at my uncle’s.
” Even though her blood had called to me, I still shuddered thinking about it.
She’d been terrified of me before my compulsion had taken ahold of her.
Kole shifted closer to me, then asked quietly, “What if you feed from me? I would be willing.”
My insides immediately tightened, and the sound of his heartbeat filled my ears. I squeezed my eyes tightly shut. “You don’t want that. Not truly. My fangs would slice right into you.”
“If you’re going to feed from anyone, I want it to be me. Always me, Primelle. No one else. I don’t want to share you.” His possessive nature again reared, and my thighs clenched at the thought of feeding from him.
His nostrils flared. “I’ve been told they have private chambers within this library.
That guests often stay here for days at a time.
And Nicholas is a vampire. He’ll understand your need to feed, especially given how you’ve denied yourself so far.
Perhaps we could ask to borrow one of their chambers before we return home? We still have a little time.”
My lips parted, and venom instantly flooded my mouth. My jaw ached, positively ached at what he was offering. Inadvertently, my fangs began to lengthen, and since my uncle’s magic didn’t control me here, my body didn’t automatically hide them.
And in that moment, I knew there was a solution to my uncle’s horrific commands. I could stay here, in the other realm, far away from him and his control. But I would have to stay here indefinitely. I could never return home.
My heart broke at that thought, but just as fast, I reminded myself that we still hadn’t searched the libraries fully. There was still hope, so my attention returned to what Kole was offering.
Tentatively, I glanced upward at Kole, my stomach tightening at what he would think once he got a good look at me. Fangs hung from my gums, visible between my lips. They were fully extended, long, and deadly.
But even though shame sliced through me at the horror I would likely see written plain as day upon his face, I was shocked to discover that nothing but compassion coated his features.
He didn’t look disgusted. He didn’t even look away. He just cupped my cheek and held eye contact, then said, “I love you. Always. No matter what you are.”
Tears flooded my eyes anew, and my love for him felt as though it would burst from my chest.
“You understand, Princess? I love you. Forever.”
I was so choked up that I couldn’t speak, but I managed a nod.
He leaned down, and heat smoldered in his gaze. “I was also told that vampires love to feed while they’re fucking,” he whispered into my ear. “Perhaps we could give that a try again, in which I’m not punishing you, and it’s not done in anger? Would you like that, Princess?”
His words rolled through me, and it took everything in me not to climb him like a tree right there.
Abruptly, Nicholas returned in a flash of vampire speed, which made it look like he materialized out of thin air.
I turned away, embarrassed at the state of my fangs and the absolute want pounding through me, but when Kole made his request to Nicholas of finding a private room so I could feed a second time, the vampire didn’t even blink.
“Of course, follow me. We have several chambers currently ready for new guests. You may have your pick.”
Since I couldn’t get over my embarrassment of what Kole and I planned to use the library’s chambers for—despite the fact that Nicholas seemed to think it a very natural request—I couldn’t look the gargoyle representative in the eye as he left Kole and me alone in a private suite.
Underground, there were no windows in the room, and the floor was made of stone. But the private suite had a large bathing chambers, a lit fire, and a huge bed. Everything about it was cozy and warm.
Nicholas had shown us how to ring for him once we were ready to fully depart from the library, but he hadn’t given us a timeline, and he hadn’t said we needed to be gone soon.
And according to Kole’s calculations, we had almost an hour before we had to slip through the fae lands’ portal door to make my curfew.
And an hour was plenty of time to feed off the virile warrior.
I eyed the bed again and thought of what Kole was offering to do there. My body began to hum with awareness of the warm, achingly beautiful male who was my mate.
“Primelle.” Kole’s husky use of my name heated me all over, and it felt as though it lapped at my insides. “Look at me.”
I turned around, my eyes widening, because already the warrior was stripping his shirt off.
I gazed at his naked slabbed chest with wonder. He was huge. Strong. Smooth. And mine.
Cut muscles graced his body, yet he wasn’t bulky or awkward in his strength. He was built like a predator, all savage lines and sinewy angles. Veins bulged in his neck and forearms, and everything about him was defined. And his blood . . . It smelled so sweet. So addictive.
My attention dropped lower to his impressive cock, already straining against his breeches, and my mouth flooded with venom once more. He removed his pants readily, and my eyes dilated of their own accord.
Kole stood naked before me. He was beautiful. Magnificent. A perfect fae male specimen.
My thoughts scattered, and all I could focus on was his hard shaft, already throbbing and ready, and the strong whoosh of his blood pulsing in his throat.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” I whispered, but my words sounded slurred since I was speaking around my lengthened fangs.
“You won’t.”
He took a step closer to me, his cock bobbing with the movement, and his scent flooded my senses. Pine, cedar, and the sea. His scent intoxicated me. Enraptured me.
Before I knew what I was doing, I was in front of him, and he was peeling my satin gown off. He lowered it inch by inch, seeming to savor every new area that was exposed.
When my breasts popped out of the top, my nipples pebbled in the cool air. He growled low in his throat with a hum of satisfaction. “Such perfect tits.”
He cupped them, and even though my skin was cool, he didn’t seem to mind.
The warm firelight crackled, and the room dipped into shadows. His hands moved up and down my curves, and the need in me coiled, spiked, and was just waiting to be unleashed.