Chapter 17 Three Days Later
Three Days Later
“K n u c k , I s a i d I don’t feel comfortable with it. Why are you acting like I’m tripping?”
“You are trippin’.” He leaned against the kitchen counter, shirtless, tattoos on display, looking all good and pissing me off at the same damn time.
“You wanna go back to the lash studio soon? Cool. We done been over this. You ain’t stressin’ and overdoin’ shit on my watch.
So, we need a nanny. We got three interviews set up this week. ”
“I just need more time to warm up to it. I don’t like the idea of strangers in my house around my baby.” I folded Kassim’s clean onesie over the laundry basket and huffed.
He shot me a look. “You say that like niggas won’t be around at all, Nyomi. We not hirin’ nobody off GP. We gon’ feel her first.”
“Her?” I blinked. “Okay, it’s a woman coming by here today?”
“Yeah. The fuck? You want me interviewin’ a nigga to be up in here ‘round this muthafucka all day? Don’t get snatched up.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but he raised his eyebrows like exactly, smartass. “I’m not being difficult, but this is hard for me, Keon.”
He let out a slow breath like I was exhausting him.
“You been runnin’ yourself into the ground, and I can’t run two dealerships, keep shit in order, and rock the baby to sleep in the middle of a 2K match.
That ain’t realistic.” Before I could respond, the doorbell rang, and I froze.
“Right on time,” he muttered, rubbing his hands together with a grin on his face.
“Fine,” I huffed, standing up from the couch. “This girl better be the most lit nanny of all time.”
“Fix your face and open the door, grumpy.”
I rolled my eyes so hard I almost saw stars. “Whatever,” I mumbled, brushing past him with a little sway in my hips and heat in my chest as I walked to the door.
Knuck chuckled behind me. “That’s what I thought.”
Clearing my throat, I opened the door to see a pretty woman standing on the doorstep. She was light-skinned, slim, thick, with big brown eyes, long jet black bust-down that brushed against her beige trench coat. Expensive perfume floated in behind her as she stepped inside.
She smiled, warm and professional. “Hi,” she said. “I’m Meja. I have an 11:30 interview.” I opened my mouth to respond as Knuck appeared beside me, and the woman’s eyes widened. “Oh, shit. Knuck?”
My stomach dropped. I’m sorry… Knuck? Not Mr. Jones? Not sir?
“Damn…” Knuck’s whole energy as my head whipped toward him. He cleared his throat, jaw already tight. “I ain’t realize that was you. It’s been a minute.”
My mouth went dry. A minute? I looked between them. “Y’all know each other?”
Meja’s lips curled slowly like she was catching a memory of the dick. “We used to mess around. Nothing serious. I actually…”
“Mess around?” I took a deep breath and folded my arms. “Before or after Kassim was created?”
“Ny,” Knuck called out in that voice that told me to chill, but I ignored him.
She smirked, holding her hands up in mock defense. “Definitely a long time ago. It’s crazy… I thought the name looked familiar from when my agency sent me the paperwork, but… ”
“Well, thanks for coming out,” I ushered her back out the front door. “We won’t be needing your services.”
“Oh,” she said, trying to play surprised. “Are you sure? I came highly recommended, and it’s not like me and Knuck have anything going on. It’s in the past.” She glanced at him like she wanted him to vouch for her, but he didn’t.
I could feel myself about to go off. Lately, my emotions had been all over the place and something in me snapped. “You sure you didn’t recognize her name on the resume, Keon?” My voice got loud. “Three interviews and one’s a bitch who used to suck your dick?”
“Yo, chill the fuck out,” he snapped, stepping closer. “It ain’t even like that. My new assistant actually…”
“Oh, blame it on Kelly!”
Meja sucked her teeth. “Look, I’m just here to interview and…”
“No, the fuck you’re not,” I snapped, lunging for her. Knuck grabbed me fast, wrapping both arms around my waist and yanking me back.
“Aye! Relax!”
I fought him, kicking at the air as she ran off. “Let me go! You sent for this bitch…” I cried, twisting in his arms.
“I didn’t fuckin’ know! Damn!”
I stopped fighting, breath heaving, tears on my face. He let me go and slammed the door so hard the baby shower photo fell and shattered. I slapped him so hard it echoed. He didn’t move. Jaw tight, chest rising.
“You really don’t fucking respect me,” I sobbed, wiping my tears. “You don’t get it, Keon. I’m tryna build a home with you. I’m tryna raise a son, be your wife, your safe space, and your peace, and you still don’t… you just…”
“Wasn’t shit done on purpose, Ny. You’re fuckin’ forcin’ it. Maybe you needa hit up your doctor or some shit. You been trippin’ lately.”
“Wow… okay.”
Stepping closer, Knuck reached for me. “I ain’t mean it like that.”
“No!” I slapped his hands away, shaking my head. “You said it, so deal with it. Feel how this shit made me feel!”
He reached for my arm. “Baby…”
“Don’t fucking touch me.” I started walking away. “Don’t kiss me, don’t hug me, don’t sweet-talk me… nothing!” Reaching for my keys and spring jacket, I snatched open the front door. “I’m going for a drive.”
I didn’t even care that my heart was beating all crazy or that Knuck was standing in the doorway warning me of what happened last time I drove off on him. This wasn’t that, but I damn sure didn’t want to be around him right now. Fuck that.
I got in my car and pulled off, tires screeching. Luckily, my Mercedes had a built-in eSIM, so I was able to call Sia. The tears didn’t really fall until the call connected. Sia picked up almost immediately, and I started wailing.
“Oh, hell no,” she shouted. “What happened now?”
I couldn’t even get the words out before she added Mikki to the call with her background all loud. “Ohhh shit, why are you crying?”
“Just come to the brownstone, Ny,” Sia suggested. “I’ll text you the address. Mikki, where the hell are you? You bring your ass back to the house, too!”
Sniffling, I nodded, “I’m on my way…”
Traffic was backed up for nearly forty-five minutes before I finally turned onto the street where the Airbnb was. I cut the engine, sat for a second letting the cool early afternoon breeze seep through the windshield, then hauled myself up the stairs.
Before I could even knock, Mikki yanked the door open. A single glance at my face and she huffed, “You gotta stop crying so much. Girl, you’re gonna look like a damn puffer fish in your wedding photos.”
Sia reached for my hand, pulling me inside and shutting out the world behind me. The living room smelled like lemon candles and incense.
“Girl,” I started, voice still shaky, “y’all are not gonna believe what the fuck just happened.” I told them about Meja coming by and ruining my day, and Sia sat there shaking her head while Mikki paced the floor.
“Oh, hell no! The bitch wore a trench coat and heels to a nanny interview?”
“Exactly! And Knuck stood there looking lost until it finally clicked in his head who she was!”
Sia folded her arms. “That sounds dumb as hell. Knuck is smarter than that. What if…?”
“Sia, do not do the rational thinking shit right now.”
“I’m just saying,” she said, raising a brow. “Maybe he truly didn’t clock her. I mean, his assistant had it all worked out, right? What if she really didn’t run the names and resumes by him, Ny?”
“I don’t care! That’s even more of a reason to be mad because what the fuck? You just got random people showing up to my house to potentially be responsible for my fucking son? Then, he made me feel like I was overreacting. It’s the audacity for me.”
“You weren’t,” Mikki said. “I woulda spit on the hoe..”
“Dramatic ass,” Sia muttered, but she was half smiling. Holding up both hands, she went on to say, “All right, I get why you flipped. But Ny… before we keep dragging the situation… can I say something?”
I pulled a throw pillow to my chest. “What, Sia?”
She walked over and lowered her voice. “Your emotions have been all over the place since you had Kassim. Happy one day, crying the next, and mad right after. It might be postpartum related.”
“I’m not depressed, though,” I quickly replied, my shoulders tense. “I’m just dealing with a crazy fiancé, letting my lash team take the lead on something I built from the ground up… oh, and I have a newborn. Stressed, maybe, but depressed? I think not.”
“Postpartum doesn’t just mean depression,” she said gently. “It can be rage, anxiety, irritation…”
Mikki nodded. “Nah, she’s right. They got a whole list. Mood swings, feeling on edge…”
I pulled the pillow tighter. “Knuck tried that line, too. Said I needed to hit up my doctor, but… I assumed he was just being petty.”
Sia shook her head. “He’s not wrong, friend. Hormones drop after birth, sleep’s up and down, and your body’s still healing. It can make you feel like you’re spinning out of control.”
I swallowed back the lump in my throat as images flashed in my head.
I remembered laughing with Knuck in the kitchen less than an hour ago, then crying in the shower ten minutes later, yelling over nothing, then feeling guilty.
Waking up at night, panicked that Kassim was too quiet.
My emotions seemed to ricochet—Happy. Sad.
Angry. Frustrated. All in one day. For the first time, I admitted how I really felt.
“Damn. I guess… I guess I do feel scrambled,” I finally admitted.
“Postpartum rage is real,” Sia reassured me, patting my hand. “So is postpartum anxiety. There are screenings and support groups. No shame in getting checked.”
I squeezed the pillow until my knuckles hurt. “I don’t like feeling out of control.”
“Control is overrated,” Mikki murmured, patting her box braids. “Getting help ain’t.”
I exhaled, the breath shivering out of me. “Maybe I should talk to my OB.”
“You gotta talk to Knuck, too,” Mikki added, laying her head on my shoulder. “This back and forth, up and down ain’t good.”
“Maybe we shouldn’t be getting married…”
“Lies,” Sia chuckled. “You’re just going through something right now, and it’s making shit a little worse. If he’s trying to be better and not all crazy and shit, then you need to get some help too.”
“Balance, bitch, balance,” Mikki laughed, and Sia and I joined in. “We love you.”
“Love y’all too.” Maybe I did need help. Maybe Knuck needed grace. But right now, wrapped in my girls, I could breathe.