Chapter 44
Chapter Fourty-Four
Maggie
Ididn’t know if I was welcome anymore—or particularly wanted, for that matter—but that didn’t stop me from showing up at the Garden that night.
And I mean, Harbor Wolves games were for everyone. As long as you had a ticket you were golden. It didn’t matter if you were the ex-girlfriend of the goalie or the black sheep sister of the Captain.
And really, who would I hurt by sitting in the arena? Brody would never even know I was there. I was just one of thousands. That invisibility gave me the courage to go.
Not because I wanted to, but because I needed to.
For years, it had been my way of decompressing after a long day of work—to go, sit with Cassie, and watch our boys on the ice.
The blast of cold air, the roar of the crowds, the blaring horn when someone scored a goal. The noise was constant, and I welcomed it gladly.
For some, games could be overwhelming. But for me? It was almost like the external atmosphere grounded me. Kept me from thinking about court cases and documents I had to file and people I had to deal with. When I was in the arena, I focused only on the game.
And, of course, Brody.
It calmed something in me to see him having so much fun in his career. To see him excelling at such a physical role, so different from my own job.
And I guess, despite everything that happened, I still craved that—he was still my safe space. If I was miserable, at least I could go and be comforted by the fact that Brody was still living his life and doing what he loved.
No matter what happened, I could always count on that.
“Hey,” I said, sliding down into a seat beside Cassie and Lily.
I came in almost halfway through the game, after struggling with my better nature for a while. There was a good chance Brody wouldn’t notice me—a benefit to us sitting behind the goalie net—and for that I was grateful.
“Hey!” Cassie’s eyes lit up. “You didn’t tell me you were coming.”
“I didn’t know I was either, until I was already driving here,” I admitted.
“Typical Maggie.” She laughed, before taking note of my clothes. “Did you come straight from work? You must be hungry. Do you want a snack?”
My stomach growled. I’d forgotten to pay attention to things like that lately: food and nutrition and hydration and whatnot.
Those needs weren’t nearly as demanding as the little gremlin in my body that demanded caffeine at regular intervals and seethed cruel words in my ear demanding I get my work done.
But now that I was sitting? It was all catching up to me.
“Depends what you have,” I said, eyeing her bag warily. “It’s not that trail mix you make, is it?”
She rolled her eyes. “The trail mix is not that bad.”
“No,” I agreed. “But it would be better with some M the Harbor Wolves weren’t doing great.
“Maybe ’cause he’s sad about leaving.”
“Leaving?” I asked.
“Yeah, he said it to Daddy.” she chirped, distracted by each clamoring noise coming from the ice. “He was telling Daddy in the kitchen and I was supposed to be sleeping. But I wasn’t sleeping. I was hearing at the door, ’cause I woke up early.”
“What did he say, Lil?” I asked her, knowing I was putting too much stock in the words of a three-year-old but unable to help myself for any scraps of information that concerned Brody.
“He said he wanted to go back.”
“Back where?”
“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “Maybe home? People like going homes.”
I frowned, wondering what she could’ve overheard. Did Brody want to go back to the apartment? Probably. The situation we were currently in was unsustainable, to say the least.
But neither of us had even approached the topic yet of going back to the apartment. I guess, technically, it was mine. It was where I lived before I met him. But now, I couldn’t associate it with anything except memories of us.
And I’d been holding off on any talk of moving out because that would mean it was really over, which I just couldn’t admit.
But I had made a promise not to be selfish anymore, and that meant having hard conversations. I couldn’t keep him in a state of limbo, even if it was more comfortable to exist in that than the uncertainty of what came next.
After the game, I thought. That’s when I’ll talk to him.