Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
The second Steff asked the question she wanted to take it back. Who asked something like that?
She was still a little discombobulated from the conversation about Cynthia, and what she’d said.
Steff had been a little taken aback at her friend’s comments. Dalton had been nothing but nice to her whenever she came over. He’d given them time to themselves, and she’d been appreciative of that. It had allowed her and Cynthia to reconnect. To build their friendship back up.
“I did.”
Dalton’s husky voice tickled her spine, and she breathed a little easier with his answer. Again, the doubts she had about him not being truthful with her were unnecessary.
“I like there being an us.” Sitting in his lap, she could look into his blue eyes and see the truth in them. One thing she’d known about Dalton from the moment they’d met, was that he would always be truthful with her.
He’d told her that, even when he’d said that there would be times he’d keep things from her, he’d been telling her the truth. She trusted him, and she should’ve never allowed herself to overthink the harmless comment Cynthia had made.
She was so angry with herself for questioning Dalton and how he would react.
She didn’t know what her friend’s motives were.
She had likely just been trying to caution Steff in the way any good friend would.
Or maybe she was still scarred from their experiences and still wasn’t fully trustful of most men, so she wanted to make sure Steff wasn’t losing the growth she had been making by becoming submissive with Dalton.
Either way, the next time she spoke to Cynthia, she’d tell her that her worries about him were way off base.
“I’m so sorry for doubting you.” She leaned forward and pressed her lips against his. Making the first move wasn’t something she normally did, but in that moment, it was the right thing to do.
Steff wanted to show him that there were no lingering concerns about him getting angry with her for anything.
The second their lips touched, Dalton’s fingers dug in a little, and she scooched forward on his lap so that her chest pressed against his.
Being this close, she could feel his erection, giving her no doubt of his desire for her.
It didn’t frighten her at all. Everything Dalton did and said, showed her she was safe with him. That he would never let her down.
His hands roamed up the back of her shirt, and she longed to feel them against her skin.
Feel the roughness of his calluses against the smoothness of her flesh.
He would be gentle with her. He wouldn’t rush her.
He hadn’t rushed her to do anything more than the kissing they’d done during the time he’d been staying with her.
They hadn’t kissed every night, and her heart swelled at the sweetness of his actions toward her.
The need for more consumed her, and she ground herself against him, wanting to get even closer than she was.
Dalton pulled away, his breath rough, like hers. “Steff?”
How could her name be a weighted question, but that was what it was. There was so much he was asking simply by saying her name.
She touched his face again. “You don’t scare me, Dalton, in anything you do. You would never hurt me. Or force me.”
“I wouldn’t,” his response was quick and vehement. “You’re in charge here, Steff. The control is all yours. I’ll follow your lead. Do what you want. When you want.”
This man was more than she ever thought she’d have. Especially after what she’d been through. He didn’t know all the details of what happened to her. Her instincts, as lax as they were, were telling her that he didn’t want to know.
One day she might tell him, but not tonight.
Dalton looked at her as though she was precious, and not spoiled goods. He’d never looked at her with pity. Concern, yes, but never pity.
He’d given her the power to take what was growing between them in any direction she wanted.
Steff wasn’t sure she was ready to get totally naked with him, not yet anyway, but she wanted to feel his hands on her, and she wanted to touch him too.
“I want to touch you,” she blurted her thought out loud and then dipped her head as her cheeks flamed with embarrassment.
Dalton hooked a finger beneath her chin and lifted it so she had no option but to look at him. Affection burned in the depths of his blue eyes. “I would love for you to touch me.”
A small laugh huffed out of her. “I’m sorry for sounding so gauche.”
“I think I’ve already said you don’t need to apologize with me. You can ask me anything. I’ll need you to wiggle back a little.” Confusion hit for a second before she worked out why he was asking.
“Oh, right.” She retreated a bit, conscious of his firm thighs beneath her butt. In a fluid movement, he had his shirt off and he was on display.
Her mouth dried at the sight of his bare chest, there was a light smattering of hair, but it was the ridges that took her breath away.
Reaching out, she trailed a finger down over the six pack.
She’d rested her head against him many times and had felt the hardness of him beneath her cheek.
Touching it, though, was completely different.
His skin was warm, and the muscles jumped beneath her fingertips.
Feeling a little braver, she flattened her hands as the tips of her fingers brushed over his nipples, and they hardened at the touch.
Her eyes drifted shut as she explored his body, the loss of her sight heightened all the other senses. His inhalations seemed sharper. His fingers dug into her waist a little deeper. She expected him to want to take her shirt off, but he hadn’t made a move to do so.
She moved her hands up, and suddenly it wasn’t Dalton’s hard chest she was touching, but rough fabric as she fought off the person who’d walked into her dark prison.
No, she didn’t want this. She pushed against the man, but all he did was laugh and tell her in an accented voice that she was going to love what he had planned for her.
Steff whimpered. “No. No. No,” she whispered.
“Steff? Honey. Fuck.”
That voice wasn’t accented. The hands on her weren’t ripping her dirty underwear away. They weren’t holding her down.
“Breathe Steff. Come on, hon. Breathe. You’re safe. No one’s going to hurt you.”
She wanted to believe that voice. She really did, but she’d been lied to before. Told that they just wanted to talk. To give her food. But everything always came with conditions, and she never got her food unless she gave them what they wanted.
This man was like all the others. He was lying to her.
“No. You’re lying!” she screamed.
“I know where you are Steff. It’s a dark place, but you’re not there. You’re with me, Dalton. In your apartment. I’m going to move you now.”
Lies.
It was all lies.
She wasn’t in her apartment, and she didn’t know a Dalton. And, of course, he was going to move her. He was going to put her in the exact position he wanted.
The mattress was thin, hard, and so filthy, she was beyond caring about how disgusting it was. She wanted it to be over.
This always happened. She fought and then gave up, because it was always easier to do that. She was so weak.
Instinct kicked in when she was lifted, and she lashed out with her legs and arms, connecting with hard flesh. She expected to be backhanded across the cheek, but the blow didn’t come. She wasn’t giving up though. She was going to fight this time. She wasn’t going to give in.
“I’m going to put you down now, Steff. You’re safe. You’re at home.”
Why did this person keep using her name? How did they know it? They’d never called her anything but whore or bitch.
And she wasn’t home. Why did this person keep insisting she was, when she wasn’t?
More lies.
She was still fighting when she was placed on a soft surface.
Soft? That’s not right.
There was the scent of pine too. A comforting smell. A safe smell.
Wait.
You’re safe. You’re at home.
The words stabbed through the haze and fear, and, as though a dark blindfold had been swept off her face, everything came back into focus.
Her large screen TV mounted on the wall. Her coffee table. Her books neatly shelved on her bookshelf.
Dalton seated on the ground by the couch, his shirt back on. His fingers gripping the cushion she lay on. Worry lines marred his forehead, and concern deepened the blue of his eyes.
“Dalton,” she whispered.
“Hey, there you are.” His lips quirked into the reassuring smile she was becoming addicted to seeing.
“Oh god.” She covered her face with her hands as realization of what happened and what she’d been doing before the attack, sunk in. “You must hate me.”
“The opposite actually. I like you. I like you a lot, Steff.”
She opened her fingers so that she was looking at him through the gaps. “You do? Even after what happened? I was touching you, and then…” She couldn’t finish, and closed her fingers again so that she couldn’t see him.
“Honey, look at me,” his voice coaxing her to do what he asked.
“How can you look at me?”
“Easily. I see a beautiful, brave woman that has endured a lot.”
“Pfft, I’m not brave. I’m weak.” Anger welled in her. She dropped her hands and sat up. “I’m still acting like a victim. I was laying there whining like a silly little girl. How pathetic is that?”
Fire blazed in Dalton’s eyes. “First, you’re not a whiny little girl.
Nor are you pathetic. What you are is someone who is fighting against demons that no one, but you know how evil they are.
You are everything I said you are and more.
” He pushed some hair away from her cheek. “Can I be honest with you?”
“Aren’t you always?” Her words came out a little harsher than she planned. A chuckle escaped Dalton, surprising her.
“I guess I am.”
In that second all her anger dissipated as quickly as it flared to life. “That was a little unnecessary. What are you going to be honest about?”
“You may not like to hear this, but I wasn’t surprised that you had an attack. I’d have been shocked if you hadn’t.”
“Really? Why?” How did she get so lucky to have someone so understanding? Then again, he’d seen and done things as a SEAL that she was sure must haunt him.
“Because you’re working through everything with your therapist. It’s all close to the surface, but I also want to assure you that, over time, the attacks will become less and less.
This was your first time touching anyone intimately since you were rescued.
It was bound to unlock something inside you. ”
“What if it happens every time I touch you?” That was a thought she couldn’t bear. She wanted to be able to touch Dalton, freely. Have him touch her without her freaking out.
“It won’t.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Yeah I do, because I can see the fight in your eyes. And you’re going to win your battle. It may take time and there are bound to be a few setbacks, but know I’ll be right beside you every step of the way. No matter what. You’re not alone anymore, Steff. You have me.”