Chapter 2
Last night was a mistake
Present
Planting my feet on the hardwood floor of my bedroom, I buried my face in my hands, debating what my next move should be.
I glanced over my shoulder at Lydia, the girl in my bed, tangled in steel-blue sheets, her blonde hair spread across the pillow.
I would have to wash them later today. No way could I go back to bed tonight with her scent lingering on my sheets.
We were done and over. Hooking up with Lydia was just one amongst a lot of bad decisions I had taken over the summer.
I inhaled, never enjoying the next part. “Hey, wake up. You gotta go.”
A low snore exited her mouth, and she stirred in her sleep, eyes still closed.
I pushed her bare shoulder with my fingers. “Hurry. You need to leave. If my parents catch you here, this won’t end well for either of us. You know the drill.”
It did the trick because her eyelids fluttered open and she stared at me, her brain clearly not registering my desperate tone. “Your parents? I’ve never even crossed paths with your parents the four times I was here in the past.”
From the pile of clothes we’d discarded on the floor last night, I found my neon-colored boxer briefs and pulled them up my legs. Now on my feet, I spun to face her. “Huh…yeah…my parents. The people who own this place and sleep down the hall.”
Stretching her arms while she sat, Lydia eyed me as if I was speaking another language.
“You, here at my parents’ house. You, so need not to be here. I’m not interested in getting caught, and I have other plans today.” I swooped her clothes from the floor and placed them on the bed. “Here. Get dressed.”
She shaped her lips into a pout and batted her eyelashes. “Mase, I thought we’d get breakfast and spend the day together. Isn’t that what it should come down to between us? We’ve done this dance often enough. When are we gonna take the next step?”
I shook my head, erasing the images forming in my brain, and sighed.
“Huh…us? Like you and me?” Yes, I was acting like a jackass on purpose.
Blame it on the lack of sleep or the early morning hour that cast last night’s actions into a new perspective, but I couldn’t wait to be alone.
Since I couldn’t leave my own house, Lydia had to go. “You serious?”
She bobbed her head, watching me.
I frowned, pretending not to get what she meant.
“We’d be good together, Mase.”
Lydia stared at me with eagerness, but wariness entered her gaze now that I locked eyes with her in what I was sure looked like a don’t go down this path expression.
“There is no us, and there will never be. It was clear from the start. You said that’s what you wanted too.
A few unattached nights of fun that came with no promises.
You agreed to it. I never promised more than that.
I can’t… I just can’t. Anyway, you’re using me. ”
“No. I am not. I want us to be together. Officially.”
I snorted. “Come on. Be honest here. You’re always after me when you break things off with Copperman.”
“Dave and I, we’re done.”
“No. I’ve heard this many times before. You two are always on and off.
He’ll say he’s sorry for whatever he has done this time, and you’ll go back to him.
You always do. It’s like you’re only with me when you wanna piss him off.
Like you have some sick QB fetichism. The Cowley High Cobras are our number-one enemies, and it won’t change. Fraternizing with the girlfriend of—”
“Ex-girlfriend.”
“Whatever. Sleeping around with the girlfriend of their quarterback is like asking to get beaten up by the entire team. No, thanks, I’ll pass.”
I should have never let her sleep here last night. It had been a rookie mistake.
Yesterday, after an afternoon of excruciating pre-season football training during which we ran drills for hours, I went out with the boys to grab some food.
We were about to leave when I saw the only girl I’d ever loved climbing into Nathan Fucking Bellevue’s pickup truck, and I panicked.
Lydia was there, ready to patch the hole in my heart for a night, and I took advantage.
Now she was spinning this there’s an us crap on me at this hour, too early for me to be able to react nicely about it.
My heart would never be able to beat for anyone else other than the one it had set its sights on, no matter how much I tried to.
It was stupid. I knew it, but I was doomed, and I had accepted my fate a long time ago and rolled with it.
If only I were brave enough to make a move, put myself out there, and be honest about my feelings, all this clusterfuck, and Lydia being here, could have been avoided.
I stepped to the left to open the dark curtains framing my bedroom window, revealing the off-white walls and charcoal trims. A queen-size bed with a striped black-and-charcoal comforter that Lydia was currently wrapped in—ughhh—was positioned against the wall next to the door, facing a desk with a dresser and a small A-frame dumbbell rack.
A few posters of my idols were pinned on the wall above them.
My room was quite simple, nothing too fancy.
From here, I could spy on the house next door, but I averted my eyes before I was tempted to do so.
“Now it’s daytime which means you gotta go.
You really don’t wanna face my dad in the morning. ”
A weird feeling stirred in the pit of my stomach as the words left my mouth.
I hated being that guy. Elk River High’s adored quarterback, whom the girls only saw as a trophy they could seduce.
Yet, I pretended the role suited me and that I didn’t care about anyone else but me when, in fact, I wasn’t interested in any relationship unless it was with the girl.
The one my heart beat for. And so far, she couldn’t care to give me the time of day, so I acted out and ended up hooking up with Lydia to forget. What a joke.
Lydia moved to her knees on the mattress, not taking the time to cover her bare tits.
“Mase, you can’t be serious. Can we please rethink this relationship?
” she asked, motioning a finger between us.
“What we have is precious. We get along great. There’s more to it than sex.
This thing between us has nothing to do with Dave. I swear.”
“Nope.” I popped the P to emphasis my answer.
“No relationship here. No breakfast cuddles. No kissing in the school hallways. We don’t have anything precious because we don’t have a thing, to begin with.
Last night was a mistake. You and I, we’re done.
I don’t wanna be that guy anymore. Anyway, I was clear on the specifics when you decided to tag along yesterday.
You knew what you were getting into. It’s better to part ways now than to get mixed up in something neither of us is ready for. ”
“But—”
“No but. It’s for the best. I’m going to take a shower, and the door will be locked.
Don’t try to get in there with me.” Grabbing my phone from the bedside table, I checked the time.
Eight-o-nine. “My folks will be downstairs in twenty minutes. You better be out before they get up.” In any other circumstances, I would have kissed her goodbye, but right now I felt sick to my stomach and was desperate to get as far as possible from the girl hinting at an us.
Just the thought sent cold chills through my being.
No, I wouldn’t mess things up more than they already were.
Under the stream of scorching water, I hung my head low, pressing my forehead against the tiled wall.
If only the hot jets could erase last night’s mistake.
And so many nights similar to this one. I was being an idiot.
I knew what I was doing, but I couldn’t stop.
Because I had no clue how to pretend I wasn’t broken.