Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
Zane
With Bear shuffling away like someone set her ass on fire, unease and tension blankets the rest of us.
Fuck, how I wish I could join her and escape the suffocating air that has lowered within the room.
Not only would I like to stave off the embarrassment I feel brewing low in my gut, but I would give anything to lay beside her.
Cuddling her and having her wrapped up in my arms.
No one has moved from their spot, the topic of relationships seems to have stunned all of us this evening, and I begin to really think back through the years.
Thinking about that specific part of all of our lives.
How none of us have ever really put forth any effort into starting a relationship with someone, let alone maintaining one for any length of time.
That no females have ever been around the house, and I would know if they had, we share everything.
“So…,” I stumble out, starting what is going to be an either enlightening or very uncomfortable conversation. “Why haven’t any of us ever dated?”
I know my answer. It’s five-foot-four, has green eyes, and is currently sleeping on the floor above me. It’s never crossed my mind to be with anyone else. Never even considered that someone could be by my side for the long term. Not unless it was her, it’s always been her.
“Uhh… well…” Max stutters.
For the first time, I really look at my brothers/best friends.
Each one of their eyes are stealing glances towards the stairs, following the ghost of her presence.
Cheeks are turning crimson and breaths are getting heavier on everyone except Ry.
They’re embarrassed, secretive, and something tells me it’s not because they want to flee this situation that they are baffled.
“Wait a minute. Hold up,” I squeak as realization hits with the force of a hurricane. I see their looks, I know those looks. “If my instinct is correct, and I really think it is, are we…” I trail off, not sure I can put the actual thought to words. Once it’s out there, there’s no more hiding.
“All in love with Bear?” Kade concludes and I tip my head in thanks as he continues without missing a beat. “I know I am. That’s why I’ve never been with anyone. I’ve known for as long as I can remember that I want her to be my first, last, and only.”
“I’ve loved that woman since we were thirteen years old.
The day we jokingly made the marriage pact, that if we turned forty and were still single, we would choose each other.
I looked at her that day, her green eyes glistening as we stared out over the valley, and I knew,” I confess, the memory pulling at the chambers of my heart.
“She’s one of a kind, something truly special, and there hasn’t been a day where I’ve wanted to be without her.
When I see myself at sixty, seventy, eighty years old.
She’s right there beside me, still gorgeous, still radiant.
” Max slumps, his body folding into the couch as if being dissolved by the fabric.
My head nods on repeat, looking like a fricken bobble head at this point as I listen to their confessions. Ones which are mirrored by my own thoughts and emotions. Until my gaze lands on a still very silent Ryder.
“What about you, Ry?” I probe, wondering if this is going to be a home run in the feelings department.
Which, I’m not entirely sure if it’s a good thing or bad thing as of yet.
“When we were little, I used to watch her relentlessly. Sassy yet sweet, tough yet vulnerable, she was a walking oxymoron, but I was amazed by her. As I watched, it had me questioning everything from the actions I made, to the reactions I gave. I wanted to mimic her mannerisms, oddities, hell I even tried to emulate how she carried herself. I saw everything she did as a goal, and I idolized her. She was everything I ever wanted to be and when she went missing, I felt like a huge part of me disappeared with her. Like the light within me had been ripped from my chest for her to take. Now that she’s back, physically here right in front of me, to touch, to see…
” He trails off, rubbing at his chest hard.
“I can feel a flicker of the light returning. Reignited by her presence. I never thought I’d feel it again, Z. I fucking love that girl.”
Ry’s eyes bore into the hardwood floor, drilling holes with their intensity as he tries to keep the tears at bay.
There is no doubt in my head that he means what he said.
Out of the four of us, her disappearance had the most effect on him.
His care free attitude transformed. Contorted into a rage and darkness I’ve seen come out in his matches.
His anger fueled by the reminder that she was gone.
Our confessions hang in the air as the room quiets to an eerie silence. There it is, for all to hear and see, four men all completely and entirely devoted to the same woman. Four hearts who only beat for one.
“So, what happens now?” Max finally asks, breaking the quiet shroud around us.
I don’t know how to answer him. Not without hurting everyone, myself included.
I recognize the emotions that dance across all their faces.
Delight from finding her after all these years, alive and beautiful.
Anger and frustration as we try to piece together her past with what little information she provides.
Confusion as to why she keeps trying to leave, every other phrase from her lips a reminder she wants to go.
Sadness at knowing that each one of us has loved her since childhood, and yet never seen it within each other.
Bringing us to this situation now, where we’ve pined for her for over a decade and are reluctant to give up so easily.
No matter what direction we move in, someone here is getting hurt. But the choice has to be ours on if it will be a little or a lot of pain. And if that pain will be worth seeing her happy.
“Well, I guess that means we make a pact. One that states that none of us can pursue her, since we all can’t have her,” Kade says with a sigh, readying his phone’s notepad to jot down the agreement.
His comment though, about all of us not being able to have her, stirs an old memory I had buried. Thinking, at the time, it was just a fleeting conversation.
“What…” I pause looking at all of them. “What if we could?”
“Could what?” Max questions his brows furrowed.
“All have her. A couple of days ago, one of the kids in my junior sparring class was having issues following through with her punches. I pulled her aside, and knowing she was around sixteen, told her to pretend like she was protecting her family for motivation. A few minutes passed by, and her shoulders slumped forward, a sigh escaping,” I begin, adjusting my position on the chair to sit straighter.
My ass is going numb.
“When I asked if she was okay, she explained there wasn’t any family around her. That she won the class through a contest at school and she didn’t have anyone she could think about to protect.”
“Please tell me you signed her up for all the defense classes and programs at no cost,” Ryder pipes up, his back straightening while he narrows his eyes at me.
“Of course I did!” I defend, throwing my hand over my heart and exaggerating taking offense.
Ever since Bear went missing, and we saw the carnage left in her house, Ry and I have devoted a substantial amount of our time and money into making sure all children—but especially young girls—know how to defend themselves.
Knowing that this child had no family she considered important enough to protect, but yet still entered to receive a training class, let me know right then, she was there for herself. And I’ll be damned if I don’t make her the best she can be.
We may not own the gym, but we do teach multiple fighting and self-defense classes, and we’re the biggest shareholders on the board. It’s safe to say, if we tell them to do something, they ask how fast we want it done.
“Anyway, back to what I was saying. I was about to tell her we could come up with another scenario, when her eyes brightened and she asked about fictional characters. Since I didn’t see why not, I asked who she had in mind.
She told me of this story she’s reading where the main character couldn’t decide between the people they loved.
When she saw how her indecision was hurting all of them, she confessed, explaining that she couldn’t choose between the three of them.
That she loved and adored them all equally, and wanted all three of them to stay with her,” I conclude, the thought hanging between us like a pendulum.
“All of them? Like, they shared her? Shared their affection?” Kade asks, stumbling over his words.
“I guess so. I remember hearing something about it before. One of the ring girls is really into romance novels, and tried to get me to role-play something from one of her books. When I declined sleeping with her, not that it didn’t sound intriguing but I had zero interest in her, she kept bringing up different scenarios, hoping one would stick.
She called it a… uhh… Fuck. What did she call it? ”
“A reverse harem,” Max states casually as he stares at his phone. “Multiple men showing affection for and sharing the affection from a single female.”
“Uhh, yeah, that,” I agree as I shake my head a little. This might be the craziest idea I’ve had yet, but if it works, if it’s possible…
“Look, I’m not saying I want to have naked light-saber battles with you all,” I begin again, not missing the shared glance between Ryder and Max at my comment.
Interesting. “But I would be fine, happy even, to share her with the three of you. You’re my best friends, my brothers.
We’ve always been close, like a little family, and even as I think about the idea now, there’s no jealousy directed to any one of you. ”
“Me too. When you just mentioned it, and I looked it up, it was like it just made sense. There’s no anger or envy, just the thought that we could all be happy,” adds Max.
“Agreed.” Ryder nods, his gaze shifting between us.
All of our eyes now focus on a silent Kade, who looks to be deep in thought.
His lip is pulled between his teeth, worry lines forming from his narrowed stare.
He’s the quietest of us all, the most conservative.
If anyone were to have an issue with this plan, it would be him.
We won’t go ahead without him, that’s not fair, but fuck, do I hope he agrees.
The tension rises in the room as we wait for his answer. The longer it takes, the thicker the air seems to get, and the more labored my breaths become.
“Okay, as long as we all get individual times with her as well, I believe it could work,” he finally concedes, and a collective sigh of relief washes through the room. “But there’s one thing you guys seem to be forgetting.”
I watch him, hoping to discern what it is he’s talking about. But when there’s no tells on his face, I give in. “Okay, I’ll bite. What’s that?”
“None of us know how Bear feels about it.”
Shit, he’s right. We got so worked up about all of us wanting her, none of us considered she may not want us.
“I don’t think that’s going to be much of an issue,” Ryder reckons, a smug grin creeping across his face and a hue of red taking over his ears and neck.
Fuck it’s been a long day. What the hell did I miss now?