Chapter Four
If only the lead-up to the ball hadn’t been so disastrous.
But the trouble was, invitations were issued to many different families in Basilia, including Birdie’s own.
“Does that mean I’m invited?”
It would take a layer of espionage away from her current plan.
“Of course not,” her stepmother had said. “It is for my family, my daughters.”
“It’s for the household,” Birdie said.
“They won’t be needing you at the palace that day,” her stepmother said.
“Well, I don’t know if they will.”
“You must try to get it off. We’re going to need help getting ready. It’s going to take a team, and we can’t afford a team.”
“This is ridiculous,” Birdie said. “They’re not going to meet the king.”
“Birdie,” her stepmother said. “Even if this isn’t going to get one of them on the throne, that room is going to be filled with rich men. Your stepsisters marrying one of those men will benefit you.”
How? Birdie wasn’t even part of the household enough to be included in this invitation in the eyes of her stepmother.
She had stayed, and she had helped take care of them because it had been her father’s dying request. That she not leave them alone.
But her stepmother was just so cold and so dismissive.
The hints of outright cruelty Birdie sometimes saw in her chilled her to the bone.
She didn’t want to show any difference in her behavior.
But she was beginning to plan. Beginning to try to imagine a life where she wasn’t so under her stepmother’s thumb.
Of course, the real issue was that she had agreed a long time ago to let her paycheck go into a family account, and then on top of that she would have to find a new place to stay, which on her income would be difficult.
Extricating herself without letting her stepmother know would be difficult. The axe would have to fall all at once, and she was wondering if it even mattered. Because if she succeeded with what she wanted to do the night of the ball…
Still, she did what her stepmother asked and got the night off.
“What are you doing?” Elizabeth asked.
“You’ll help me, right? I can’t afford for my stepmother to get wind of anything. She has an invitation to this ball, and she will make my life difficult. If she has any suspicions…”
The older woman hesitated, her expression pained. Birdie understood she was asking for a lot. That all of this was irregular and putting Elizabeth at risk, potentially, and she hated to ask that. Wouldn’t if it didn’t feel so, so important.
“I understand,” Elizabeth said.
Birdie nodded, swallowing as best she could through her tightened throat. “I have to get out from under her thumb. But it’s just not that easy.”
“You can always stay with me,” Elizabeth said.
Birdie knew that. Losing her mother had been a terrible blow, and nothing would ever replace her. But where her stepmother had never offered her anything, Elizabeth had stepped in and become such a wonderful, soft, caring force in her life.
“Elizabeth, one way or the other, everything is going to break open. I can’t hide the pregnancy forever. I’ll either be staying with you, living in the shadows like you said that I might because the king doesn’t want to acknowledge the baby publicly or… This is my one hope.”
“I’ll give you everything to take to your house so that you can get ready there. I’ll make sure that you get led into the palace. It won’t be impossible. It’s just more difficult.”
“I know. There was no other way.”
“I know, Birdie.” Elizabeth stepped forward and put her hand on Birdie’s cheek, before tucking her hair behind her ear. “It’s very difficult to try and soar when so many people have tried to clip your wings. But you are very brave.”
“And maybe very foolish,” she said.
Elizabeth smiled, sad and wistful. “Maybe. But love makes fools of all of us. I was in love once.”
“You were?”
She looked down. “Yes. And if there’s one regret I have in my life it’s that I didn’t work harder for that love.
It requires bravery to love. To try and demolish the barriers surrounding it.
You are doing that. It’s extremely brave.
And in the end, worth it. Because to live a life without doubt and regret must be a beautiful thing. ”
Birdie’s throat tightened. “I hope so.”
She stashed the gown in her attic room, and worked on the mask in the evenings. A basic, cheap shape that she’d ordered online, and was hand beading to match the vines on her dress.
Once everyone in the house left, she would be able to get herself ready and go to the ball.
She would be a little bit late, but it wouldn’t be the end of the world.
She would’ve had to be late even if she’d been at the palace.
Because she was going to have to finagle her way past anyone checking a guest list no matter where her starting point was.
She was no Cinderella, and there were no enchanted mice and pumpkins to help usher her in, so she had to be clever if she couldn’t be magic.
With her plan firmly in place, she was feeling better about the night.
Even though she was sick with nerves. It was getting harder and harder to hide her condition as the weeks ticked by, and she was starting to get worried she was going to have to let the dress out for the ball.
When it came to uniforms, it was simple.
As easy as making a trade in the laundry facility.
New uniforms were always available for staff for free.
A bespoke, valuable gown was another matter. But thank God, the day of the ball arrived, and she could still zip herself into it. She’d never had such cleavage in her life.
Which ordinarily she might be pleased about, because she did look very good in the dress, but she needed the king to recognize her on instinct. And if there was one thing he did know intimately it was her body.
Does he? Or is this all wishful thinking? Is this all foolishness?
Maybe he was only thinking of the queen. Maybe he was only thinking of his own needs.
Maybe he didn’t really want you at all.
She took the gown off, and stuck it in the back of her closet, and then went downstairs to begin helping her sisters get ready.
“I wonder if we can film a dance at the palace,” Alana said, looking at her reflection in the mirror.
Her stepsister’s breasts were taped into her dress, her cleavage a truly impressive feat.
She hated that it made her feel insecure.
That both of her stepsisters were beautiful, in spite of the fact that they were ridiculous.
Natalie had strands of pink curls woven through her hair, and genuinely, it should’ve looked stupid. But she seemed vivacious and pretty, and maybe the king would like that.
No. What a nightmare. She could not deal with a future where Onyx married either of them, and what she knew about him didn’t seem to indicate that he would ever be interested in anyone like them.
Finally, they were ready, and she began to head back to her own room, when her stepmother met her at the center of the stairs. “What is this?”
She was holding the mask that Birdie had spent all that time on in her hands.
“It’s nothing,” she said, her stomach tight.
“Were you planning on trying to go to the ball?”
“No. I’m not invited. They won’t let me in.”
“Why do you have a gown in your closet?”
“It’s nothing. It was a gift from someone at work, and of course I took it because why wouldn’t you take a gift that pretty?”
“It’s too much of a coincidence,” she said.
She grabbed Birdie’s arm and started to drag her up the stairs. Birdie wrapped her arm around her stomach protectively, concern for her precarious position on the stairs and her baby the only thing keeping her from fighting her stepmother, even though the other woman was much taller than she was.
She found herself shoved into the room. “This is why I wanted you here. I don’t trust you. The look on your face every time the king is mentioned…” Suddenly, her eyes went down to Birdie’s stomach.
“You little slut.”
“I… Nothing to do with—”
She snapped the mask in half and threw it at Birdie. “I’ll deal with you later. We have to go.”
She swept out of the room, and Birdie heard the lock click. Panic overtook her.
She was trapped.
Locked in the room. And there was nothing she could do.
She wasn’t going to be able to go to the ball.
Her mask was broken. She fought the urge to lie on the ground and curl into a ball, to sob like a motherless child.
Because that’s what she was. She had never given in to that particular despair.
She’d never felt so lost, so alone. She’d always been overcome by the drive to keep going. To keep hoping.
But not now.
Now she felt like she was lost. Utterly and totally lost.
Then she looked to the side and saw her phone.
She wasn’t alone.
She might be alone in this room but she wasn’t alone in the world, and she wouldn’t give up. Not now. Maybe she didn’t have enchanted mice or fairy godmothers, but she had Elizabeth.
She had hope after all.
She was sobbing, great gasping breaths. Her stepmother would know it was her when she arrived at the palace. She would know. But she had to try. She had to.
With shaking hands she called Elizabeth. “Elizabeth,” she said. “My stepmother locked me in my room. She found out she… I don’t know what to do.”
“Don’t worry,” she said. “I’ll send you help.”
“My mask is ruined…”
“Don’t worry,” Elizabeth reiterated. “I’m sending someone to help you.”
She didn’t know who that would be, or what was going to happen. But with as much faith as she could muster she got dressed, unpinned her hair and let it loose. And when she heard the lock being rattled outside the door, she stood. Two of the palace drivers appeared in the room.
“Elizabeth said you were in trouble.” The first to speak was Adam, a man she’d known at the palace for years.
In his fifties, and handsome, with salt-and-pepper hair.
There was a kindness about him that had always made Birdie feel fond of him, but this was beyond anything she’d expected from anyone ever.
“I… Thank you.”
“Not to worry,” the other one said, younger and boyish, new enough she didn’t know his name. He handed her a delicate mesh mask. “She also said that you need to get to the ball.”
“I do,” she said.
“She has these for you also,” Adam said. He held up a pair of shoes, delicate and glimmering, translucent. “She said you needed shoes that were suitable to the dress.”
“Oh,” she said. “They’re beautiful.”
She’d never been so close to total despair as she was a few moments ago, and now it felt like everything was…okay. Almost.
She was going to have to make it into the ballroom and connect with the king as quickly as possible. “We have to get you to the ball,” Adam said.
Suspicion stirred in her chest. He’d always been kind, but this was so above and beyond, it was potentially risking his job if they were caught sneaking her in. “Why are you doing this?”
“I would do anything for Elizabeth,” he said.
Birdie wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him. “She would do anything for you,” she whispered, just so he could hear. “I’m certain of it. However you feel, you need to tell her.”
He didn’t say anything, but as she was whisked down the stairs and into a beautiful, classic town car, she felt like this was a night when anything was possible.
All of her wishes had been answered.
Everything would be okay.