CHAPTER NINE #2
Doctor Hargrave spends the next half hour giving us all our options, everything to consider, and it’s all up to us to decide.
She does let us know that she would like to increase our visits to her to weekly appointments to ensure the mass is not growing fast enough to start to affect the baby.
She looks at both of us and gives a small smile.
“I know this is not news anyone wants to hear, but, Kinsley, you are young and healthy, and it looks like we caught it early. Remember, there’s still a chance we are wrong and it’s benign.
However, with the test results and Kinsley saying she’s had some side pain on the side with the mass, it just compounds what the test results are telling us.
With all of that, waiting till after the baby is born, though not ideal, should still give you a good chance.
After the MRI and the next couple of weeks of appointments, we may want to look at scheduling a cesarean section around week thirty-seven.
If we do that, we can remove the mass after the baby is delivered and have it all be one surgery, so recovery only has to happen once.
I know I’ve thrown a lot of information at you two today.
You take the weekend and think about things.
I have your MRI appointment scheduled for Monday morning.
We can revisit everything at your appointment on Wednesday.
” She stands up, walks around the desk, and takes Kinsley’s hand in both of hers.
“You have my cell phone number. Don’t be afraid to use it.
If you want, I can come with you to your first meeting with the oncologist after your appointment on Wednesday.
You two aren’t alone in this, and I’m going to support you all the way. ”
For only the second time since we walked into the room, Kinsley speaks up, and her words show me just how strong she is.
“We’ll do the MRI and make a plan, but I’m going to keep her inside for as long as we can to give her the best chance.
If she’s going to likely be the only baby I’ll ever be able to carry myself, then I’m going to do it for as long as I can and for as long as it’s safe for her.
” Doctor Hargrave gives Kinsley a bigger smile.
“Spoken as a mom already and as a woman who was raised with the influence of Linnea and Anna.”
The doctor leans back on the edge of her desk and looks serious as she looks between the two of us.
“I know both of you have strong, supportive families. Emmett, I remember yours from when your boy was born, and, Kinsley, I’ve seen your family a number of times during births but also outside the hospital.
This isn’t an easy road, and it’s not light information I just laid at your feet.
This is the time to lean on your family.
Let them be there for you. Let them support you.
They offer to bring you dinner so you don’t have to cook?
Let them. Let them love you. Love and support like that?
I may be a medical professional, but in my experience, having support like that?
Well, it can make all the difference in a fight against cancer.
So go, tell them. Text or call if you need anything.
I will see you both on Wednesday, alright? ”
I nod, stand up, and help Kinsley up out of her chair. We walk out of the office. Kinsley says she has to use the restroom, so I wait outside for her. While I wait, I take out my phone and text Cash and Way.
Me: I need one of you to come to the hospital, the doctor’s office side, and pick up Kinsley’s SUV. We met here, but she can’t drive home.
Cash: We can do that. She okay?
Way: What Cash said. Anything we can do for you two?
Me: Just that right now. Oh, and I need both your asses at the BBQ tomorrow. It’s important.
Way: We’ll be there. Let us know if you need anything.
Cash: What the giant said.
I put my phone back in my pocket when I hear the door opening.
Kinsley comes out and looks at me. “Ready to go home?” I nod and take her hand, leading her out of the office.
“You’re gonna ride with me, sweetheart. I’ve got my brothers coming for your SUV.
” She just nods, telling me she’s in her head and confirming I made the right move.
We drive home in silence, both lost in thought and worry.
I need to take care of her. I need to do whatever I can for my woman.
I make the turn, pull into the driveway, and put the truck into park.
I get out and go around to open the door for Kinsley.
As soon as I do, she speaks just above a whisper.
“Is all of this going to be too much for you?” She moves, looks at me, then down at her hands.
“I come barging into your life…literally. I do that, then I shake up your world by getting pregnant, and now this. This thing inside of me means I’ll probably never be able to carry more babies.
” I reach out and touch her arm to get her attention and her eyes on me.
“When I asked you to marry me, I wasn’t asking because I wanted only the good or the easy times.
I want a life and everything that entails with you.
If we can’t have more kids, we will love on this one and Booker and be happy.
If we decide we want more, there are ways to do that.
Surrogacy and adoption are both viable options.
But understand this, sweetheart. When I asked you to marry me and you said yes, it was no longer a you and a me but an us.
There’s no separation because we’re gonna be together and face whatever happens.
Get me?” Tears roll down her face, and she throws her arms around me, her head landing on my shoulder.
She cries and cries. The ugly kind of cry.
The cry of mourning future pregnancies. The cry of fear of the unknown.
I want to get her to stop crying, but I realize she needs this.
She needs me to hold her and let her lose her shit.
As a man, I want to fix things for her, but this isn’t something I can fix.
I can’t make this all better. I can’t make her fears go away.
What I can do is let her cry it out in my arms. If she needs to do it again, I’ll be there for her.
About five minutes after she threw her arms around my neck, her tears have slowed, and I’m pretty sure she wiped her snot on my shirt at least twice.
Make that three times. She pulls back and I’m taken aback that even with her face red, blotchy, and tear-stained, she’s still the most beautiful woman in the world.
She looks at me, and I swear I watch her determination come over her face, and her strength comes out.
“If that’s the case, how do you feel about getting married next weekend?
We can call tomorrow our shower or joint bachelor and bachelorette party.
” Uh, what? “You want to get married in a week? You sure about that?” She nods her head.
“Yeah, I am. I don’t need something big and fancy.
I don’t know if this cancer is gonna end up with me needing to be on bed rest, if it will get me sick, or what, before this little one is born, and I want to enjoy our wedding day.
I can find something to wear by then. What do you think?
” This is something I can do for her. I don’t care about the wedding stuff, to be honest. I just want to be married to her.
“If you want that, I want that. I just want to be married to you.”
She leans forward and gives me a kiss. “Okay, then this is what we’re going to do.
I want to call my dad and have him come over.
I want to tell him what’s going on. I don’t want to hide this.
Doctor Hargrave was right. They can help us, even if it’s just good thoughts and prayers.
” She’s right, I knew I was marrying a wise woman.
“Do you want to tell my parents?” She nods.
“I do, but I’m not sure I’m gonna be up for two of those conversations tonight.
What about I tell my dad, and you tell your parents?
We can share it with everyone else tomorrow when we also tell them we’re gonna get married next weekend.
” Although I want to argue that I should be here when she tells her dad, I realize the little girl in her needs that time with her dad.
“Sounds like a plan. Now, why don’t we go inside so you can call your dad?
” She nods and hops down. I watch her walk into the house, and I realize maybe I do need to tell my parents alone too.
An hour later, and I’m sitting in my truck in front of my parents’ house.
I know with the weather being decent, just where to find them, so I walk to the backyard.
Mom is sitting at the table with a glass of wine, and Dad is next to her with a bottle of beer.
He’s the first to see me walking their way.
“Hey, son. Wasn't expecting to see you today. To what do we owe this pleasure?” I sit down across from them, set my elbows on the table, and rub my face. Where the hell do I start? Mom, being Mom, picks up that something is off. “What’s going on? Is everything okay?” I shake my head and just say it.
“Kinsley got a call from her doctor today. We needed to come in to hear the results of her bloodwork.” I hear Mom’s intake of breath, but I continue so I can get it all out.
“The doctor had ordered more tests because she had seen something on the ultrasound last week. Between what she saw and the bloodwork, she’s pretty sure that Kinsley has ovarian cancer.
She has an appointment for an MRI on Monday.
She’s already decided because of how far along she is not to do any surgery, chemo, or radiation till the baby is born. ”