CHAPTER NINE #3
Mom comes over and gives me a hug. “Is the baby—” I stop her question.
“Doctor Hargrave says the baby is fine, and it doesn’t seem to be impeding her space or anything.
” She moves her chair closer and sits back down as I tell them about the different options and everything the doctor told us.
I then drop the next surprise on them. “We also decided, because we don’t know what the next few months will look like, we’re going to get married next weekend.
” Mom’s eyes widen. “Next weekend? Have you figured out where or food or anything yet?” I shake my head.
“Kinsley said she could find a dress, and I’m sure I can get something for me and Booker to wear.
I don’t know if she just wanted a justice of the peace thing or—” Mom shakes her head and gets up.
“I’m gonna get lists going, and tomorrow we can get with Anna and Linnea and get this whole wedding situation taken care of and set up.
You’re gonna have enough of a wedding to watch Kinsley walk down the aisle to you and have a first dance.
Those two things are non-negotiable, son.
Our girl deserves that since she’s only getting married once.
” Mom scurries off inside the house, talking to herself the whole way.
I know this is how she feels she can help, and I know she’ll be there for anything we need.
I look back at Dad after I hear him clear his throat.
He looks at me for a minute before he speaks up.
“It’s just you and me. How are you really doing?
” He opens the box and takes a cigar out, hands one to me, and takes a second out for himself.
He only smokes cigars every so often, and as a concession to Mom, always smokes them outside.
I watch him light the cigar in his hand and answer him.
“I dunno. Freaked out. Helpless and upset. I can't just fix this for her.” After he hands me the lighter and takes a drag on the cigar, he leans forward and points the cigar at me. “You want to fix everything for her, and this is something you have absolutely no control over.” I nod and light my cigar. I know Dad’s not finished talking, so I wait him out.
He leans back in his chair. “So you do what you can. You marry her next weekend. You move her into your house, and you put together the nursery. You help her put her shoes on when she gets further along and can’t.
You call us to come help anytime you need us.
You have her dad help, too. We help you help her.
But the biggest thing, son?” I finish my drag on my cigar.
“What’s that?” Dad looks at me with a serious expression.
“You don’t show her your fear. You get scared and worried during this whole process, and you will, because that’s natural.
You get that way and don’t pile that shit on her when she’s goin’ to be goin’ through enough.
Don’t take that to your mom either. You bring that to me.
You need to cry, to scream, to pound on something?
You come to me. We’ll go out back, and you can throw shit around and yell all you want.
Hell, your brothers will be there too. I know Cash jokes around a lot, but he’s not a complete idiot.
He knows when shit is serious. Hell, Way might even let you get a punch or two in on him.
” We both laugh at that because Way might be quiet, but he ain’t ever let someone get a punch in.
I lean my head back and look at the clouds in the sky.
“I get what you’re saying. I just want to make sure she’s happy and around for a long time.
There ain’t no one else for me but her, Dad.
” He adjusts himself in his chair. “Son, that’s because once you find your one, no one else can ever come close.
There’s not a spot in your heart for anyone else romantically. ”
Kinsley
Emmett just left to tell his parents, and Dad should be here any minute.
Emmett doesn’t know, but letting me cry and lose my shit in his arms is what I needed.
I needed to be able to lose it and cry it out so I can move on from the initial shock.
I need to be on my game and not wallow around if I’m gonna do what’s right for my little girl.
There’s a knock on the door, and I know it’s gotta be my dad.
I walk over, open it, and see him standing there, looking worried.
“Is everything okay? What’s goin’ on?” He comes in and immediately engulfs me in one of his hugs.
I know I have to say something, but I give myself a few more seconds of the safety of my dad’s hug before I tell him.
Once I break the hug, I point to the couch.
“Let’s have a seat.” Dad takes a seat and looks at me with concern in his eyes.
“Is everything okay with my grandbaby?” I reach out and take his hand and place it right where she kicked a moment ago.
“Everything is fine with her. Doctor Hargrave said she’s developing well and looks just the right size.
” I look down at his hand and blurt everything out—everything about the mass, how it’s most likely cancerous but won’t have it confirmed one hundred percent till they can test the mass, my decision about what we will and won’t be doing before the baby’s birth… just all of it.
After my word vomit, I look up and see for just the second time in my life, my dad’s eyes look glassy.
“So it could still be benign, right, and even if it’s cancer, they think you can beat it even if you wait till this one is born?
” I nod. “I mean, Doctor Hargrave seemed to think so. She says we seem to have caught it early. As much as I would love to have a natural birth, I think I will agree to have the cesarean section so they can take the mass out after she’s born and have it tested right then.
That way, I will hopefully only have to have surgery once. ”
Dad looks at me. “Well, it sounds like you’ve figured out how you want to fight this thing.
Leave it to my girl to figure out what she wants to do and be certain about it.
You’ve always been that way. I want you to know I’m here for you.
I know you have Emmett now, but you still have me.
You need anything, and he has to work or something, you call me.
I will be wherever it is as fast as I can.
As much as I hate to say it, I’m here for Emmett, too.
You guys let me do whatever you need. Hell, even if it’s just taking the dog for the night.
He’ll get along with Erik’s dog just fine.
Okay?” My damn eyes are leaking again. I smile at Dad.
“Okay. I do have one thing I need your help with next weekend. I was hoping you would give me away.” Dad’s eyes bug out in surprise.
“Wanna run that by me again?” I tell him about our plans to get married next weekend.
“I kinda figured we could turn tomorrow into a sort of bachelor-bachelorette barbecue kind of thing.”
Dad sighs. “You know if that’s what you want, I’m gonna be sure you get that.
” I lean over and hug him. I love my dad, and I know it might pain him, but he’ll be there for me next weekend.
“Now, where is that man of yours?” I roll my eyes and move back to look at Dad.
“He went to tell his parents. I’m sure by this point, his mom is on the phone with Anna and Linnea about next weekend.
Did you know his mom knows Anna? I guess they both worked at the hospital at the same time.
Ada was a floating nurse, so she got to know Anna when they were on the same floor for a while.
” Dad gets a look on his face that I can’t quite place.
“That could be a scary thing if she knows and likes Anna. I don’t know if we need another one like Anna in our family.
” I smack him lightly on his arm. “You know you love Anna and all the women in our family.” Dad nods.
“Yeah, I do, and I’m smart enough to have a little bit of fear of what they’re capable of doing.
Now, what about right now? I know it’s not quite dinner time, but is there anything I can get you?
If I know you, I bet you skipped lunch, worrying about your appointment.
” I’m not gonna acknowledge that he is right.
“I am hungry. I would kill for some breakfast from Millie’s.
” Dad gets his phone out and leans back on the couch, taking me with him.
“Well, I can order us up some food. How about you turn on that show you love so much, and we can hold down this couch together? What do you say?” I lean into him and pull my feet up on the couch after I grab the remote.
“Sounds perfect to me.” I turn on The Big Bang Theory and snuggle into my dad.
I don’t care how old I get. Spending time on the couch like this with my dad is always the perfect way to spend a late afternoon.