Chapter Ten Lee #2
While Nico and Phoebe enter into bedtime negotiations (that I’m not certain Nico will win) I slip quietly out of the room.
After a moment’s hesitation, I sit on the sofa, which has been cleared of laundry, next to Taco, who has curled up on one of the cushions.
He lifts his head and places it on my knee with a happy sigh.
Tentatively, I pat his head and he closes his eyes.
He starts drooling on my trousers and when I try to move away he grumbles low in his throat.
I look at my phone and find I have messages waiting. A bunch of them are from Tara, who had been asking about book club when I abruptly hit her with the news I was getting on a plane.
WAIT. What do you mean you ACCIDENTALLY GOT MARRIED?????
And you’re GOING TO AMERICA???
To talk to your HUSBAND???????
Call me when you can. I want to know EVERYTHING.
This is interspersed with a frankly irresponsible number of gifs of people screaming.
There’s also a message from Adrian, which is unexpected and makes me feel a pang of guilt. He took our breakup well, but asked if we could stay friends.
I reply to both of them, telling Tara I’ll call tomorrow and telling Adrian I’m fine and away on business.
Finally, Nico reappears looking like he’s been put through the wringer. I get the impression that raising an eight-year-old is not a walk in the park. He looks down at me and his drooling dog, and smiles.
‘Time for a real drink?’ he asks.
‘Honestly, I already feel half-drunk on jetlag,’ I say. ‘Maybe a tea?’
‘Fortunately, I get proper teabags online,’ Nico moves around to the kitchen behind me and I hear the tap running. ‘Do you want something to eat? I can throw some pasta together or order a pizza?’
I yawn. ‘I’m fine. I think I’ll have an early night.’
He places two cups of tea on the coffee table in front of me and takes a seat in the empty chair. He leans forward, his forearms resting on his knees, and lets out a long breath. The silence stretches between us.
‘I don’t even know where to start,’ he admits.
‘Yeah,’ I agree. ‘There’s quite a bit to unpack.’
Nico’s gaze slides away from mine. ‘The last time we saw each other—’
‘Let’s just forget about it,’ I say quickly.
His lips press together. ‘I didn’t like how we left things. It was my fault we ended up in that situation in the first place.’ His frown deepens. ‘It’s my fault we’re here at all. You wouldn’t even be in this mess if it wasn’t for me. I’m sorry.’
‘You don’t have anything to apologise for,’ I insist, fighting the urge to wring my hands.
Nico still seems determined to take the blame for our wild night out, and now instead of frustration I feel ashamed.
I can’t bring myself to confess that if anyone was responsible for the impromptu wedding it was probably me: after all, I’ve dreamed of marrying Nico for most of my life.
‘And now you’ve been dragged half way across the world by my lunatic family,’ he continues, oblivious to my inner struggle.
‘I like your lunatic family. I like this house,’ I say, looking around.
Nico sits back. ‘I was lucky that Magda agreed to rent it to me long term.’
‘How long have you been here?’ I ask.
‘About eleven months,’ he replies.
I try to keep the shock from my face, but it’s clear that I fail because he frowns.
‘I’m sorry, Daisy. I didn’t realise… I thought you’d know. I thought—’
‘You thought Jack would tell me. Or Gran.’
He shrugs and the gesture is so like Phoebe’s it’s a bit unnerving. ‘I guess I shouldn’t have assumed I was such a big topic of conversation in your house. Clearly, my ego is overinflated.’
‘No, I heard them talking about Phoebe,’ I say. ‘They probably both assumed I knew, but I misunderstood. I thought you’d moved in with a girlfriend.’
How can I tell him that I’ve spent a year avoiding any mention of him, carefully steering the conversation away any time his name came up?
I now realise why Phoebe’s name sounded familiar when Bud said it; I just hadn’t made the connection because I’d assumed Phoebe was a grown woman.
‘Phoebe finally moved in with Nico!’ I remember hearing Gran tell Jack on the phone, jubilant, as I felt my heart sink.
I can’t explain to him that after the last time we saw each other, I felt like I had to cut him completely out of my life, like an addict going cold turkey.
I don’t know how to tell him that as hypocritical as it is, despite those choices, my choices, it still hurts that I didn’t know. I just sip my tea, careful not to meet his eye.
‘So you found out about Phoebe almost a year ago?’ I ask after a moment.
He nods. ‘Last November.’
‘I’d imagine that was… quite a surprise.’
He huffs out a laugh. ‘Yeah, you could say that.’
‘How did you find out?’
‘Magda called me.’ He looks down into his own mug now.
‘It wasn’t long after I was in London visiting Gran.
She told me about Phoebe and I flew straight out.
The second I saw her… I don’t know how to explain it.
It’s like something cracked open inside me.
’ He lifts his hand to his chest and rubs his fingers absently over his sternum.
‘Magda insisted on doing a DNA test, for my peace of mind, but I honestly didn’t need it.
I knew she was mine. I looked at her and I knew. ’
‘She has your eyes,’ I agree.
‘Do you think?’ he asks, clearly pleased.
I nod. ‘And what about… Phoebe’s mother?’