Chapter Ten Lee #3
‘Stacie,’ Nico says softly, putting his mug down on the table.
‘She and I had a brief thing nine years ago. I met her when I was doing some work in South America. She was on a trip with some friends. It was casual… for both of us,’ he adds quickly.
‘A holiday fling. We spent a couple of days together and then that was it, I never saw or heard from her again. I didn’t even know her last name.
Honestly, my memories of her are hazy at best, which is…
pretty fucked up. I can’t blame her for not reaching out.
She hardly knew me and what she did know wouldn’t exactly make her think I was good father material. ’
He thinks he’s hiding it, but I can feel the pain behind his words as sharply as if it were my own. I stay quiet, waiting for the rest.
‘She passed away not long after Phoebe was born,’ he carries on, and he looks tired.
‘It was sudden, an undiagnosed heart condition. And her parents – Magda and Tom – took over raising Phoebe. Stacie had tracked down my information when she found out she was pregnant – my job made me easy enough to find online – but she hadn’t wanted to contact me.
Magda and Tom decided it was best to respect her wishes. ’
I swallow. ‘It sounds like there were no easy choices,’ I say carefully after a moment.
‘No. They’d just lost their daughter. I can’t imagine…’ His gaze moves to Phoebe’s door and his mouth presses into a firm line. ‘And they didn’t know me. I could have been anyone. Could have tried to take Phoebe away.’
‘So how did you end up here?’
Nico’s expression remains grim. ‘Tom died in a car accident. Magda was the only family Phoebe had left and in the end she thought she should reach out. It was a very difficult time for her, and you’re right – a hard decision to make alone.
’ He sighs. ‘Magda’s been nothing but great to me.
And for the last eleven months – with her help – I’ve been navigating how to be a good dad to a now eight-year-old girl. ’
‘That’s… a lot,’ I say finally.
‘Phoebe is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.’ Nico smiles. ‘But, yeah. It’s been a fairly steep learning curve.’
‘I can imagine. Still, the two of you seem to be doing really well.’
He makes a noise that’s half laugh, half groan.
‘I wouldn’t say really well. I still feel like I don’t have a fucking clue what I’m doing most of the time.
I’m a total pushover and she knows it. It took a long time for her to even start to really talk to me.
’ His words come out fast, falling over each other as he unburdens himself.
‘It was six months before she moved in here permanently. Right around the same time she started calling me Dad. Before that it was Nicolas.’ His smile is rueful.
‘I’m more than ninety per cent certain she finally decided to move in because she wanted to live with Taco.
It’s been… inch by inch and I know there’s still a long way to go. ’
I battle the urge to reach over and take his hand.
‘I’d say you’re doing better than you think.
’ I try to keep my tone light. ‘You’ve made a real home here.
I saw her room. You made that space for her because you wanted her to feel seen.
It’s perfect and she loves it. Even if you did include Pluto on her mural. ’
Nico looks outraged. ‘You can’t just downgrade a whole planet!’
I hold up my hands in mock surrender. ‘Hey, you’re preaching to the converted, I told Phoebe the same thing.’
‘And what did she say?’
‘She told me it had been twenty years and I should get over it.’
Nico barks out a laugh. ‘Brutal.’
‘Devastating, honestly,’ I agree, unable to hold back my own grin. It feels good to make him laugh, to feel some of the tension in the room leach away. Still, I can’t help remembering why I’m here in the first place.
‘So you’ve been going through all this, and now I’ve brought a mess to your door.’
‘No,’ he replies quickly. ‘I told you, you haven’t. We can sort everything out. I’ll contact a lawyer and take care of it. I’m sorry; Phoebe and Magda meant well, but they should never have tricked you into coming out here.’
There’s a beat, a pause.
‘Why did they do it?’ I ask and this time I do lean over, this time I do touch him, my fingers brushing across his knuckles.
It’s the lightest touch, but his hand turns over, his palm settling underneath mine, and after a second our fingers lace together.
Something warm and golden races up my arm and settles deep in my chest. I worry that I might be glowing like a nightlight.
‘Nico,’ my heart is jumping, ‘why did Phoebe say you needed a wife?’
Nico looks at our hands, and his jaw tightens.
‘It’s nothing,’ he says abruptly, pulling away. ‘A misunderstanding.’ He gets to his feet. ‘I shouldn’t be keeping you up like this when you’re exhausted. Is there anything else you need?’
‘No,’ I say and I stand up, too, feeling thrown off-balance by his sudden shift. ‘I have everything I need.’
Everything except answers. Judging by Nico’s frown, I don’t think I’ve done a good job at hiding how hurt I am by his withdrawal. I wonder why it feels like he just shut a door in my face.
We stand awkwardly for another moment.
‘Well, goodnight,’ I say with a weak smile, heading for the bedroom.
‘Goodnight.’ His voice drifts towards me. ‘I’m sure we can get this all sorted in the morning.’