Chapter 48
My room in Clan Amber was large and spacious. It felt excessively so after the coziness of the servants’ quarters, where I’d been surrounded by stuff that had made it feel more like the close walls of our cottage.
It was a generous space for pacing, which was what I was doing long after I should have been in bed. I’d been searching the book of Clan Bismyth dragons; unless Fieran had another plot he was unspooling, though, I needed to look at the Amber dragons.
I glanced up, feeling an unexpected swell of longing for the familiar faces of Clan Bismyth, even though I’d done my best to avoid them at the party.
Rees lifted his head from his place in front of the fire and whined. He’d appeared at my door, and Ander had practically growled when he saw him.
Tay thought he was magnificent and had compared him to our old dog, though I thought that comparison was based on nothing more than both having tails and ears and a strong need to be worshipped with petting.
I glanced at Tay’s doorway as I headed out.
We’d shared the loft as children, cots so close we could hand books back and forth under the thin moonlight through the round window.
Our mother had slept in the small bedroom at the back of the house, though she sometimes came to the loft ladder to hiss at us to go to sleep.
The memory made me smile, and when my smile died, I felt more alone than ever.
The common room was cast in shadows, the only light coming from the enormous fireplace and its glowing fire.
The shadows moved, and my muscles tensed, preparing to fight.
Maura turned, glancing at me over her shoulder. “What do you want?”
“I didn’t see you earlier.” Gods, that sounded foolish. She hadn’t been at the party, but she also hadn’t been seen for days. At least, not by me.
“Fieran ordered me to stay clear of you. Since I’m so scary.” She held up her hands like monster claws, as if that were a joke, as if she hadn’t beaten me almost to death.
“So are you in Clan Amber now?”
She scoffed. “No. We can’t change clans that easily. Not unless I get the chance to fight for a spot, or that big sexy orc wants to be my mate.”
“Kiegan?”
“Are there any other big sexy orcs? What are you doing out here?” Her lips tilted. “You don’t have to sneak out to see Ander anymore. You can knock on his door. I’m sure he’ll open up for you.”
Her tone insinuated something much bawdier than a deep talk.
“None of your business.”
She let out a little laugh. “You are my business, Cara. Knock on Ander’s door or go back to bed.”
She was guarding the door.
“Does Ander have you on guard duty? Or do you just like to lurk and torment me?”
She yawned dramatically, like a cat. “Go back to bed.”
“Or does Fieran?” I tilted my head, studying her. “The way he kicked you out of our barracks…it was very public.”
“He’s a very dramatic princeling.”
“He is. And a dreadfully purposeful one, as well.”
She let out a bubble of a laugh. “You think he’s so clever, don’t you? You’ve fallen under his spell.”
I wasn’t putting up with her bullshit. I started to move for the stairs, and she was on her feet so quickly I never saw her move.
“Careful, Cara,” she said with a toothy smile. “We both know just how disloyal you are…and just how hard I can kick your ass. I might be the only one who can see through you.”
I let out a hard, bitter laugh. Although she wasn’t wrong.
“You already burned your place in one clan,” I told her. “I doubt Ander told you to keep me prisoner.”
“My clan leader told me to keep you safe,” she said, examining her fingernails. “Mortals mustn’t wander.”
My clan leader? “Ander or Fieran?”
My voice had come out too sharp, too telling of how much I cared about the answer. She wouldn’t respond.
“Go back to bed, mortal,” she told me, leaning back in her chair with her bare feet on the edge of the table. “I wouldn’t want you to run into someone out there who feels less fondly of you than I do.”
Ander appeared then, as if summoned. He braced one arm against the top of the door to the hall, his brows raised. “What’s going on?”
“Cara wanted to go for a midnight stroll. I told her it’s not safe for mortals,” Maura interjected before I could.
Ander studied me. “I’ll take you anywhere you want to go, Cara.”
“I couldn’t sleep, and I wanted to get a book from the archives.”
“Last three days alive, and you want to do schoolwork?” Maura asked skeptically.
“Cara will survive the claiming, I have no doubt.” Ander raked his hand through his hair. “Let’s go to the archives.”
I was about to ask him if he had Maura on guard duty.
But Tay yawned in the doorway. “What is everyone doing up?”
The three of us froze as if we had been caught.
“Serving Cara, as always. What else is my purpose in life since Fear developed an obsession with a star he found exceptionally shiny?” Maura rose from her chair and stretched, catlike and graceful. “I’m going to bed, since my nanny services aren’t needed.”
She bumped her shoulder into Tay’s as she passed. “Goodnight, handsome.”
Tay gave her a concerned look, though it wasn’t just concern. I felt a stab of betrayal, even though I hadn’t told him what she did to me.
“She’d eat you alive,” Ander told him.
Tay’s quick flash of a mischievous grin suggested Ander was not dissuading him.
“Let’s take a midnight trip.” Ander went to the wardrobes that lined one wall and pulled out two deep amber velvet cloaks, tossing one to each of us.
The cloak felt like a soft blanket as I wrapped it around myself and fastened it at the neck. The memory of Fieran walking backward, his fingers brushing my throat and his eyes shining in the dim light, prickled in my mind.
“You wouldn’t normally humor one of your clan as you have me,” I told him as the three of us began to head down the stairs.
“No,” Ander admitted. “Eventually, you’re going to have to adapt to being one of many incredible Clan Amber shifters.”
Tay was right beside us, his hand trailing over the gilt banister, so I didn’t point out that Ander was humoring me for his own reasons.
“I’d like to see the life dome sometime,” Tay told Ander. “Cara told me about it. I question if she can really find my star or if she’s just going to point at something random.”
“Before you go home,” I said, needing him to leave.
“The stars look a little different to everyone,” Ander said. “That’s why it’s not as hard as one might think to pick out your family from the constellations. The ones we love might not be special, but when we see them, they shine a little brighter.”
I smiled at the thought at first. Then that smile froze on my face as I remembered how Fieran had smiled after I asked why his star was so bright.
The tall, arched doors to the library were closed.
“You never saw this.” Ander ran his hand over the doorknob, muttering a few words of an enchantment, and the door swung inward.
Tay grinned. “I can’t believe you want me to leave.”
Before I could respond, his expression turned wistful. “I know. I don’t belong here.”
I didn’t know how to respond. I wanted to point out that I didn’t either, so he wouldn’t feel alone. But I had to stay, and I needed him to go.
If I asked Fieran, would he force Tay home? Part of me was afraid to ask, afraid the world would start to funnel around us, trapping us both in this dark, glittering world.
The library at night was magical. Moonlight spilled through the high windows in pale ribbons, turning the tables and railings into ghostly silhouettes. Bookcases spread as far as the eye could see, interrupted by cozy seating areas.
“The dragon compendiums are this way,” Ander told me. “Let’s find you a book of Amber dragons.”
I would have asked Ander if he thought Fieran had wanted me to joiin Clan Amber, but Tay was walking alongside us, his eyes wide with wonder. If my brother knew I were in trouble, he would never consent to going home.
The dragon compendiums in the library were leather-bound books, illustrated with pictures of the dragons. I ran my fingertips over the colorful engravings. It was awe-inspiring it contained the same dragons had come to us for a thousand years, since they vanished from our world.
“Technically, that’s not supposed to leave the library,” Ander told me as he picked it up for me anyway.
“Technically, you’re my favorite person right now,” I told him, and Ander’s eyes crinkled at the corners.
“A little light reading for—” Tay broke off suddenly.
I turned toward him. He was still holding one of the compendiums, fingers curled around the spine, but his eyes had gone strangely unfocused, pupils narrowing like he was staring at something far beyond us.
“Tay?”
He didn’t respond.
“Tay.” My voice sharpened. I grabbed his arm.
He blinked slowly, like someone surfacing from a dream. Then again, faster. Confusion flickered across his features.
Then, abruptly, he smiled. “Sorry. I was daydreaming. This is just the most incredibly boring place. Only you would be in the most magical and thrilling palace we’ve ever seen and still seek out a library.”
“I want to figure out what dragon might claim me.” It was the truth, and suddenly I wished he didn’t know.
Because if I knew what dragon might claim me, I might understand Fieran’s plans.
Ander was watching us both with a carefully blank expression. I desperately wanted to ask him if he knew what had just happened.
“Let’s get back,” Ander said. “You both need rest, not dreams.”
“We could swing by the kitchens,” Tay said optimistically. “Do you not have midnight snacks like Bismyth?”
Tay seemed completely normal as he bantered with us both, and Ander was his usual self—kind but a bit clipped, as if he were above us and our stomachs.
I went into my room, but no sooner had Tay’s door closed than I was sneaking back out into the hall.
Ander filled the doorway to his room, and he beckoned me as soon as he saw me. I moved silently down the hall and he stepped back, letting me into his room before he closed the door.
“What happened to him?” I whispered.
The glazed look in Tay’s eyes reminded me of the way the mortals had danced in those cages, as if their bodies were present but their minds a thousand miles away.
“It looks to me like the queen’s enchantment,” he said grimly.
“What does that mean? What can she do to him?” My voice sounded as wild as I felt.
“Cara,” he said gently, calmly. “It means she can control him. It’s not like a casting spell, she can’t see through his eyes or hear what he hears. He’ll have to report back to her.”
I paced his room. Ander’s room was even larger than mine but strangely spare. The stone walls were hung with a few tapestries, all in muted golds and deep rusts that echoed Clan Amber’s colors.
“I need to get him home,” I told Ander. “Will the queen let him go?”
Ander hesitated, and that was answer enough. “I can have him brought home as soon as day breaks. But I fear that the queen will just fetch him again, or have him walk across the kingdom to her. If he’s here, we can protect him.”
“Can you?” I asked tartly. He was convinced Fear would get us all killed with his rebellion against the queen; Ander wouldn’t choose my brother over the safety of all Clan Amber.
Ander hesitated. “I’ll try.”
“Thank you,” I said.
I believed him, but I already knew I would be headed to Clan Bismyth—and Fieran—as soon as I could. “What do we do to help him?”
“Pretend everything is normal. If he reports back to the queen that you don’t trust him, she might call him back to her side. For now, she has every reason to keep him here where he can spy…and where we can watch over him.” His gaze softened. “But don’t trust him.”
The words twisted inside me. “I won’t.”