31. Zoe
THIRTY-ONE
zoe
I looked down at my phone, wondering how Nate’s meeting had gone with the bank. Shouldn’t he be done by now? It had been over two hours since his appointment but still nothing.
I stood up from my desk and decided to make the rounds to distract myself. Starting just outside my office in the lobby, I spent an hour at nearly every spot in the resort, talking with employees and ensuring all was running smoothly. By the time I got back to my desk, positive I’d have a text from Nate, I was surprised to see only one message from Charlee. Otherwise, nothing.
I called her.
“What’s up?” she answered. “I didn’t expect you to call. Just wanted to let you know the manager’s meeting was moved up this week to tomorrow. My father wants to be there, but he had something with the township supervisors Thursday.”
“Same time?” I asked, opening my phone’s calendar.
“Yep. Are you clear?”
“I am.” I moved the meeting day up.
“Thank God. If you weren’t there, who would I scribble notes to the whole time?”
I thought about that one. Not too many candidates. All of the other resort managers were at least two decades older than us. Charlee, then me, were the first two “young blood” hires, as Mr. Donovan had called us. A new generation for the company, so to speak.
“Good question,” I said, putting my phone back on the desk.
“So what else is going on? How’s life sans Nate for two days?”
“I’m waiting to hear from him, actually. He had his meeting with the bank today.”
“For the restaurant loan?”
“Yeah.”
“So that’s definite? He’s opening a place here in Kitchi Falls?”
“I mean, he’s a long way from actually opening, but securing funds is the top priority. But yeah, looks like it.”
Charlee whistled. “So you two are pretty serious then?”
I sat back in my chair, looked under the desk, and smiled.
Nate.
“We are. No mention of love or anything, or him moving back, but the fact that he’s coming to Kitchi Falls says a lot.”
“Clearly you’re madly in love with him.”
“Clearly.”
“But you haven’t told him yet?”
I sighed. “No. It just hasn’t been the right time. I don’t want to scare him away either.”
Charlee made a sound. “Scare him away? The guy is moving to Kitchi Falls of all places. For you.”
True. “Plus, he hasn’t said it either.”
“You don’t have to wait for him, you know.”
“I know. But. . . I kinda want to.”
Charlee didn’t say anything for a second. “Sometimes you have to take a risk. Put yourself out there.”
I thought back to the note I’d put in the box Lucas sent to Nate. “I did that with my note, yes?”
“Uh, debatable. I just know it’s tough for you to trust people completely. Maybe this is the time to throw yourself all in.”
“I sort of did that with Erik. Worked out great.”
“He doesn’t count.”
I laughed. “No? And why not, exactly?”
“Because he’s the biggest dickhead on the planet.”
“Irregardless.”
“Is that a word? Isn’t it regardless?”
“Actually, they mean the same thing. Some people think it’s incorrect, but it is actually a word. And I like it better.”
“Why?”
“Probably because it’s on the fringes of acceptable grammar. I can appreciate living on the edge like that.”
Charlee laughed. “You’re a nut. Well, if you really want to live on the edge, don’t wait to tell Nate how you feel. Life is too short not to tell people you love that you love them.”
“Good point.”
“Thanks. And while I have you, can you talk shop for a sec about the Fall Festivities?”
“Of course.”
Charlee and I chatted for a few minutes until she had to run. We agreed to meet up for Trivia Night at KC’s just as my phone lit up.
Nate.
Sup, Zoe girl?
There you are! How did it go?
About that. . .
???
I didn’t go.
What the heck?
What do you mean?
The more I think about it, I’m just not sure the restaurant biz is for me.
So you didn’t go?
Nope
Then why not text me earlier? But I didn’t say that.
I see.
Sorry I didn’t text sooner. Wasn’t sure what to say.
‘I didn’t go’ seems appropriate.
Pause. There was more. I could tell.
What is it?
I might stay here a few days, visit with the family. Try to figure things out.
So, that’s why he hadn’t contacted me earlier.
Okay. . .
You’re not upset?
I was, but I didn’t see any point in telling him that.
Life is too short not to tell people you love that you love them.
Now wasn’t the time. I didn’t want to do it over text anyway.
I’ll miss you, obviously. And hope you come back soon.
I just have to figure out what I’m coming back to.
That was easy.
Me?
Of course you. But on the job front. Need to work that out too.
I wanted to ask why he couldn’t work that out here in Kitchi Falls. With me. I wanted to tell him I would help him figure it out. But Nate was so proud. And I knew from my father that pushing a man like him when he’d made a decision wasn’t typically a good play.
He needed time. And space.
OK. How long are you thinking?
I’m not sure. Having dinner with the whole family tonight.
Trying to push away the sinking feeling in my stomach, I took a deep breath, reminded myself this was just a temporary setback, and forged ahead.
Sounds like fun. Text me tonight?
Of course. See ya, Zoe girl.
Smiling as I watched the phone, as if something more would happen, I closed my eyes and tried to make sense of it all. Zoe girl. He cared for me. Wanted to be with me. Was willing to move here, open a restaurant here.
Yet, now he wasn’t. Because he was unsure about the business, like he said? Or was he unsure of moving here? Of us?
Opening my eyes, shaking away the cobwebs, I reminded myself I had a job to do. I had to take care of myself. Work. Gym. KC’s with the girls. The rest would all work out.
It had to.
I loved him. But I just wished I knew if he felt the same about me.