11. Jay
CHAPTER 11
JAY
I don’t plan to see Hannah often, but she insists that we need to hang out once a month to maintain our sibling bond, whatever the hell that is. She usually picks a bar outside of Maplewood for us to go to, which is good because the last thing I need is to have a few drinks with my usual crowd of customers.
This time, she’s picked a bar almost thirty minutes away. I grumble about the drive, but it’s a Wednesday night. I wouldn’t be doing much business at The Rusty Oak anyway. Jerry can handle it on his own.
Once inside the bar, I can’t help it. I start analyzing every feature and comparing it to the atmosphere in my own bar. The setup doesn’t make sense because the main bar is at the far back. I would have to weave through tables to get there. Plus, that means there’s no one near the door if someone tries to walk out on their tab.
I also think the music is too loud. It makes it just a little too difficult to have a conversation. While you want to have an atmosphere that promotes fun and partying, you also want to be able to hear the people you came with.
Once I’ve assessed the bar, I realize that Hannah is already at a table near the back, waving at me with a big smile. As I pass a few tables, I can’t help but think of ways The Rusty Oak does everything better. Maybe I’m biased.
“Hey, big brother!” Hannah chirps as I slide into the seat opposite her.
“Hey, Han. What’s up?” I pat her hand across the table. Hannah grins at me like she has big news. She’s grinning like she knows something I don’t, and my mind starts instantly racing with what it could be.
As I settle on an answer, my stomach sinks. She’s pregnant, isn’t she?
“Not much. Just needed to get out of the house and see you. Work was so boring today. I mean, it’s boring every day, but today, it topped even its normal level of boring. Plus, it’s been forever since we hung out.” She signals the waitress and orders us a couple of beers. I add on a shot, looking at Hannah to see if she wants one. When she shakes her head, my fear is confirmed.
“I just saw you last month and the month before that. Don’t act like I don’t come to the things you organize.”
“ I organize? If I cared about your opinion and tone, that comment would have offended me.”
“Good thing you don’t then.”
The waitress is already hurrying back with our drinks, and I have to at least be impressed with that aspect of this bar. Fast service is something I appreciate.
Hannah thanks the waitress and wraps her arms around the cold glass of beer, but she doesn’t take a sip. I watch her with an eagle eye, waiting. If she’s pregnant, she wouldn’t drink beer, would she?
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“You didn’t want a shot.”
“It is a Wednesday. As much as I hate my job, I do still have to show up tomorrow.”
I don’t buy her excuse. Hannah has never used a day of the week as an excuse before. Why would she start now? After looking at her for another moment, I make a silent toast to myself and down the shot, embracing the shudder that runs through me.
Hannah is still smiling excitedly.
“You have something to tell me,” I say, determined to get her news out of the way.
Hannah nods. “I do. Yes, you’re right about that. How could you tell?”
“Because your face gives everything away.”
“Not everything . You don’t know what my actual news is. You just know that I have news. So…”
“No, I know what your news is.”
“You do?” Hannah looks sorely disappointed. “Did Charlie tell you?”
“No, I haven’t talked to Charlie. But it’s obvious.”
Still clutching her glass, Hannah leans forward. “Seriously? How?”
“You haven’t had any alcohol since we’ve walked into the bar, despite ordering a beer, and you’re smiling like a jack-o-lantern. You and Charlie have been together for a year, so I guess it’s about time. Congratulations.”
Hannah stares at me for nearly a minute before she bursts into laughter. “You think I’m pregnant?” She laughs again.
I continue to stare at her. How could I be wrong?
Hannah lifts her glass of foaming beer and takes a few big gulps. “There. Convinced?”
I run my tongue across my lips, trying to figure out how I could have misread everything. “Okay, so you’re not pregnant. What’s your news then?”
“Charlie and I are going to get a dog,” she says, her eyes lighting up. “Something small and fluffy. Maybe a corgi.”
I blink my eyes, unsure about the sudden change in topic. I thought she was pregnant, but she’s just getting a dog. Okay, this is a change I can embrace. “A corgi, huh? Sounds like a good plan. Just make sure you’re ready for the commitment.”
“Oh, we are. Charlie’s already picking out names. It’s kinda cute how excited he is. We know that we want a small dog, just because of space. Could you imagine like… a German Shepherd running around in our tiny apartment?”
It’s nice to see Hannah happy, and I feel a lot more relaxed now that I’m sure she isn’t going to make me an uncle anytime soon. “No German Shepherd. Corgis are pretty cute. Or Shih Tzus. Sounds like things are going great for you two.”
“They are. We want to get a rescue, so Charlie is staying on top of the adoptable animals available at the shelter so we can get one that is under the weight limits of our apartment. But when we do get our dog, you have to come meet him… or her.”
“As long as you tell me when, I’ll be there.”
My sister cocks an eyebrow. “Wow, you sound so reluctant to show up for me.”
“I’m just busy. Running a bar isn’t like showing up at the community center and manning the desk.”
“Hey, I organize rental schedules too.” I can tell that Hannah isn’t really offended, but that’s how our relationship is. We can tease each other back and forth, and no one gets their feelings hurt.
“So…” Hannah takes another long sip of beer. “Violet told me she got a job at The Rusty Oak.”
My stomach drops at the mention of Violet’s name. I wonder if Violet has told Hannah anything else. They’re best friends. I have to assume that Hannah knows everything. Fuck, I didn’t even think about that.
“Yeah, she’s been working there a few days.”
“How’s she doing? Is she good at her job?”
“She’s doing great. Quick learner, too.”
Hannah raises an eyebrow. “Quick learner, huh? That’s all?”
I shrug, trying to keep it casual. “Yeah. She’s... she’s pretty great. Dedicated. And she’s got this determination that’s really impressive.” I don’t know what Hannah wants me to say. Does she want me to admit that Violet and I slept together? I won’t do it. I don’t know what Violet told Hannah, but I’m not about to talk about my sexual escapades with my sister.
Hannah’s eyes narrow. “Jay, are you... are you into Violet?”
I hesitate, not sure how to respond. “I’m saying that she’s a great employee.”
“Maybe that’s what you’re saying, but it’s pretty obvious by the look in your eyes.” Hannah’s face scrunches up. “God, you have feelings for her! Jay, you can’t be serious. Violet is my best friend. And I’ve seen the way you treat other women.”
I raise my hands in my defense. “Whoa, it’s not like that. Violet’s different, and I didn’t say anything about liking her. I admire her work ethic. That’s all.”
“That’s not all. I can read you. And what do you mean that Violet is different? Do you just like her because she isn’t easy like the other women you’ve been with?”
“Hannah, that’s not fair. She?—”
“You don’t have a great track record with women, Jay. You can’t just... mess around with Violet. She’s been through a lot, and she doesn’t need you adding to her problems. A one-night stand, or whatever you want to call what you’re planning, is not what she needs. You don’t need to bring your commitment issues into my best friend’s life, thank you.”
I don’t like the turn this conversation has taken, nor do I like my sister’s uncharacteristically serious attitude. “Hannah, I know I’ve made mistakes, but I’m not trying to hurt her. I... I actually care about her.” It feels weird to admit it to Hannah, but I think she needs to hear that I’m not just looking for a few good times.
She shakes her head, looking frustrated. “I don’t know if I can trust you on this. Violet’s too important to me.”
I want to add that she’s starting to become important to me too, but this isn't the time. I haven’t even sorted through my feelings on my own yet. I don’t need to try to sort through them out loud with Hannah.
A change in subject is what we need. I scrutinize the glasses we’ve been given, estimating that they’re smaller than the ones I use. “Look at the way they’re cheating us,” I comment.
Hannah frowns at the glass. “What do you mean?”
“These glasses are only ten ounce glasses. I offer twelve ounce glasses at The Rusty Oak. With similar prices, they have a larger profit margin based on two ounces a glass. I can’t imagine cheating my customers like this.”
Hannah rolls her eyes. “Please don’t talk business to me.” But I keep talking business to her because it did exactly what I was hoping it would do. It got her off the subject of Violet.
We sit there for a while longer, sipping our beers and talking about other things. Hannah fills me in on her plans for the fall festival. I don’t know why she’s so excited for some carnival that’s meant for kids, but she makes me promise to come by her booth at some point. So, I do. I’m still her brother after all.
As we finish our beers and get ready to leave, Hannah gives me a hug. It seems as though she’s forgotten all about Violet, but then, she brings her up again. “Find someone else, Jay. Don’t treat her like you’ve treated your last girlfriends. I mean, you literally ghosted one, and you were with her for two months!
I hug Hannah back, patting her awkwardly. I don’t make her any promises, because I can’t. I don’t think it’s fair to make her a promise I won’t keep. I don’t plan to stay away from Violet at all, not when we’ve just given each other a fresh start.