Chapter 31 #3
Why did Mum have to invite everyone over?
I thought furiously as I carried dirty dishes over to the sink.
Dealing with Geoff would’ve been bad enough, but when we all got together…
Mum talked about family, but I remembered this.
Dad standing over her, red faced and shouting so loud the whole street could hear him.
Mum trying to placate, settle him down, then when he pushed her too far, she’d shriek right back.
A war fought domestically, right up until the divorce papers were signed.
Trouble was, Dad didn’t take all of the tension between us with him when he walked out the door.
It felt like it was festering wound that scabbed over but never really healed.
“Ethan.”
I jumped, too intent on rinsing the dishes to hear Mum come up behind me. Her hand hit my shoulder and it was then I felt the muscles relax. A point of warmth in all of this crazy, it helped me get through the last of the dishes, but when I went to fill the sink, she stopped me.
“I’m sorry, love.” Her hands went to my arms, turning me to face her. “I just…” They fell to her sides. “I’m not sure what I expected. It’s not like I didn’t know how everyone would react.”
“I’ll take you out for lunch, Mum,” I offered. “Come by your work and whisk you away from all of that paperwork. We can talk then.”
“About this Nadia?” The hope in her eyes had me smiling despite myself. “Ethan, you’ve barely said two words about her, but I think anyone can see she’s someone important to you.”
“My best friends’ girl,” I replied smoothly. “She’s going to be a part of my life…” A small frown formed. “If we keep sharing a house. I mean, maybe they won’t want that. If she shifts, goes through her heat—”
“And how would you feel if you had to move out?” she asked. “You’ve obviously got a room here.” My ugly snort had her laughing. “Though I would prefer less sons, not more, living here.”
Then she stared at me steadily, making clear I needed to answer her first question.
“I…”
Sometimes it felt like the whole process of transitioning into a wolf took something from me.
The psychologist at the time called it avoidance.
Every time we fronted up to the lab, I was pumped full of hormones and forced to endure agony.
Human brains didn’t cope very well with that and neither did the wolf’s.
She theorised that perhaps the reason why I didn’t really feel my wolf was because I pushed it and the whole experience away.
Was that what I was doing now?
“It would suck,” I told Mum frankly. “But its not something I can do much about. Nadia isn’t…” Where the hell did that reticence come from? “Nadia isn’t my mate.”
There. I got it out. It was a tough thing to admit, but I needed to say it over and over until I was reconciled to the situation.
“There was no bolt from the blue when I saw her,” I explained. “No punch in the gut feeling the moment I got close. Nadia is pretty, no, beautiful, but so are heaps of girls.”
“But you don’t think about other girls, though, do you?
” Where the hell did my mother’s knowing smile come from?
“You might stop and take a look, but minutes later, you wouldn’t even remember who they are.
Not this Nadia. Some part of you gets all tense when you’re around her.
” How did she know that? “Like butterflies in your tummy.” I watched her hand come to rest on her stomach.
“Everything I described should push you away from her, but instead all you want to do is get closer.”
Swallowing hard, I realised my throat was bone dry. Grabbing the bottle by the neck, I took a long swig, wincing when I remembered I hated wine. Setting it back down carefully, I turned to face my mother.
“So?” Fuck, the ghost of teenage Ethan was in my defensive tone.
With a breath, I tried again. “That doesn’t mean anything.
I like her, OK. She’s a nice person. A mate bond is something else.
Alphas fought wars to get to their mates.
They knew without a shred of doubt that that person was the only one in the world for them. ”
“All I’m saying is that if you look into your heart.” She tapped my sternum. “Past what you think you know about alpha/omega bonds, maybe you might be surprised by what you find.”
Mum always had something to say that got me thinking, so the fact I did that the entire drive home came as no surprise.
The realisation that came did.
Staring into the mirror, feeling the aftershocks of second-hand pleasure I’d gotten from the dream was one thing, but as I peered at my reflection now, my eyes bled to silver. The wolf stared at me and I stared back, each waiting the other out until I whispered this.
“She’s…” A hard swallow. “Nadia, she’s… our mate?”
The silver brightened exponentially, and in that moment, I saw grey fur form all across my arms. Staring at my shaking hands, I realised what a mistake I’d made.
“Fuck… Fuck…” I breathed out, seeing everything now with fresh eyes. Nadia, crumpling under the weight of Riley’s words and me? Walking away from Nadia, leaving her to face every damn thing on her own.
An alpha always had to prove his worthiness to his mate, but me? Somehow I had to convince Nadia I wasn’t a complete dickhead.
Just like her exes were.