Chapter 23
Bryan was a sweetly attentive student while I explained how to make a strawberry reduction for Cody’s birthday cake the next day.
We were making it in the guesthouse so Cody wouldn’t find out about the surprise treat.
Bryan was in charge of the stirring while I measured and sifted the dry ingredients.
I’d spent the night tangled up with Carter, basking in the affection that made me feel like my own person.
Colt and Wyatt were angels looking after the kids yesterday and today, and Colt even told me about what Cody had confessed on their ride, which led to me trying to put together my mother’s recipe for strawberry cake.
Carter was out on a ride with Lucky and Thor to get them some exercise.
The kids were obsessed with Merri the pony, begging Wyatt for more lessons after breakfast. They were so cute learning horsemanship and how to take care of all the animals.
At one point they’d had the compound children do more work with the goat dairy, but impatience and children weren’t a fabulous mix, so they’d nixed that and stuck to trained farmhands and teenagers.
“This smells incredible,” Bryan commented, staring at the bubbling liquid.
“It’s my mother’s specialty,” I told him.
“What’s she like?”
“She’s…” How would one describe a woman like Martha Combs?
“...cold, honestly, or at least I always thought so, but in some ways she could be warm. Food was one of the ways she showed her love, but she wasn’t an affectionate woman unless you were a young child.
Even that had limits. I wonder how much of it had to do with my father, if maybe once upon a time she had been different, but I suppose I’ll never know. ”
“My mother was the same,” Bryan replied, “but not even small children made it into her good graces. I suspect she never wanted to be a mother at all and that’s why she only had me, an obligation because her family expected it.”
“It’s—” I closed my mouth, trying to pretend I hadn’t been about to say something.
“Hmm?” Bryan’s gaze was focused entirely on me, the attention, however innocent, filling my head with things better left unexamined. When I didn’t reply, he tentatively said, “It’s okay if it’s too much. What you went through must make some parts of motherhood more difficult.”
I chewed my lip, letting my gaze meet his. “I don’t regret the children I have, I love them, but I regret who their father is, and that I had them so young. If I’d had a choice, I…”
“I get it,” he said gently. “I mean, not that anything I experienced was anything close, but I understand what you’re saying. People do a lot of things because they have to, or even because they feel like they have to. I’m sorry you never got the choice. You’re a wonderful mother.”
The simple words almost took me out at the knees. “I took them away from everything they’ve ever known. I feel like a terrible mother.”
Bryan turned off the stove, nudging the pot off the burner before approaching me like one might come up to a deer, frozen and ready to bolt.
“You risked everything to give your children a better life. You might be the bravest woman I’ve ever known and I’ve been impressed by you every moment since we met. ”
“What if I chose wrong?”
“You know what kind of life was ahead of them,” Bryan said plainly.
“You know it’s not a life they deserve. Things might not be perfect, but that doesn’t mean the choice was wrong.
You did the right thing to get them out of there and even if there’s bumps in the road, they’ll understand that in full one day. ”
I fell into his arms, letting him cocoon me, my forehead resting on his chest, my fingers curled into the fabric.
He’d been scentless thus far, but with my nose buried against him I could detect hints of spicy sweetness, almost resinous.
It was perhaps a subtler version of tree sap baked in the summer sun, like amber they put into expensive cologne.
I bit down on a whimper as the scent snaked through me, urging me to press closer. A shiver rolled through me.
I didn’t need another scent match. Life was already too complicated.
The alphas on this ranch all smelled too good, and I’d already been terrible at resisting climbing into their arms. I hadn’t gotten close to being with anyone besides Carter, and that had been helped along by our history and him being an omega. It was different with alphas.
I peeked up at Bryan, both of us freezing when the front door opened, Carter stepping inside and freezing when he saw us embracing.
His eyes widened, a whimper sneaking out of him and triggering one in me I couldn’t contain this time.
Bryan’s arms tightened around me in response to the paired sounds.
Sweet peach and warm amber flooded my nose, desire flowing like honey in my blood, my own peach blossom responding in kind.
“Your scent came in,” Carter breathed, his eyes holding the same heat as when I climbed into bed with him.
I should go, give the two of them some space, but I couldn’t make my muscles move.
Maybe I didn’t want to roll around with an alpha just yet, though I couldn’t deny that the energy in the air was more intoxicating than nerve-racking.
The peach and amber combination made me dizzy, my body throbbing, craving attention like Carter had been giving me lately.
He wanted Bryan, that much was obvious, and it was clear Bryan wanted him in return.
Here I was, caught in the middle of their now-silent, delicious exchange.
Carter had the doorknob in a death grip, and Bryan hadn’t made a move to release me. Maybe he’d forgotten I was there entirely. I hoped not.
My nerves tingled. Reckless daring pushed at me.
How could I get what my body wanted without interrupting them?
At best I could probably scamper into the house and deal with it myself while everyone else was occupied, but that terrified me.
I couldn’t be alone for that, not without the distraction of the scent match turning the volume down on Paul.
Bryan’s fingers twitched against me. “I should go.”
Carter and I made twinned sounds of distress, my lover crossing the distance between us.
“You promised.”
I wasn’t sure what Bryan had promised him, but I wanted to know what secret they shared.
Bryan shivered. “But Maisie…”
“But me?”
Carter was so close, I was dizzy between the two of them.
“I can go,” I offered. My fingers refused to release Bryan’s shirt clenched in them. “I can—”
“Stay?” Carter whispered.
While he didn’t explicitly say what staying entailed, the single word was so heavy with meaning I couldn’t mistake the request for anything else.
My skin felt hot just standing here. The temptation to put all my trust into Carter, to let him guide whatever was to come, to know he’d protect me, was too strong to ignore.
“What do I do?” I whispered back. “I don’t want to go, but I don’t…I’m not ready.”
Carter’s reply was a toe-curling kiss that melted away my resistance.
Bryan cursed quietly to himself. “I don’t know if I’m emotionally equipped, either, but I also don’t want to go.”
Carter turned his kiss on Bryan, leaving me breathless in the alpha’s arms, and helplessly transfixed on the play of their mouths against one another. Molten desire pulsed between my thighs. My skin itched, my clothes suddenly too rough as I watched them while still tucked in Bryan’s arms.
Another whimper slipped free and I tugged on Bryan’s shirt.
It was enough for them to break contact, Bryan’s gaze frantically searching mine, and whatever he saw had him leaning down.
I rose on my toes to meet him. Shock knocked me in the chest that I hadn’t immediately crumbled at having an alpha’s mouth on mine.
Was it because Carter was right there? Because Bryan was a scent match?
Whatever the reason, when he pulled away, we stared at each other until Carter kissed my cheek and I turned to capture his lips.
Euphoria flowed in my blood.
The even more reckless part of my brain wondered how strong that sensation would be if Colt and Wyatt were here right now, too. Would I be overwhelmed, or could I let myself surrender to it all the way I did with Carter?
“Lock the door,” I gasped against his mouth when I pulled away to breathe. The last thing we needed was one of the kids trying to come in here. “The curtains.”
Carter and Bryan dashed away to complete the tasks, leaving me standing in the kitchen fighting the urge to strip then and there. Was I actually doing this?
The answer became clear when Carter got within reaching distance and I practically threw myself at him. He tasted so sweet.
“How are we doing this?” he asked gently.
“I don’t know. How can we do this?” Desire wasn’t particularly matching practicality at this point. I craved being touched, but not shoved past my boundaries.
Carter glanced between Bryan, me, and the table. “Both of you could fuck me at once.”
I thought I might spontaneously combust with how hard my pussy clenched at the concept. My perfume was a fog around us, blending with their peach and amber until I felt the swish of slick on my thighs when I squeezed them together. I nodded.
“Work for you?” Carter asked Bryan.
“I’m pretty sure I’m dreaming, but yes.”
Maybe we were all dreaming. Sure, I had fantasized about being in the arms of multiple men, kind ones, to shelter myself from my painful reality, but now I had a whole new reality to contend with. It was so much more potent than I’d imagined.
How was I supposed to think through the haze of two scent matches and my own desire?
Bryan dipped down to kiss me again while Carter whipped off his shirt and cleared the tiny flower vase from the kitchen table before hopping up.
I spun to kiss him, undoing his button and zipper, then stepping back so Bryan could tug off Carter’s jeans.
He tipped backward, spread out like a feast.
I tried to work up the courage to strip down, but the closest I got was slipping off the leggings and panties beneath my dress. Even that felt daring.
Bryan looked like he was ready to implode. At least we were kindred spirits in that department. I had the benefit of already having been with Carter, but there were plenty of new elements for all of us.
The sweet alpha swept his hands up Carter’s legs, slotting himself between them so he could bend and reach Carter’s mouth.
“You don’t have to be gentle,” Carter told him when they parted. “I promise my body knows what’s coming and I want it.”
Bryan nodded, hands shaking as he peeled off his shirt. I stepped forward to help with his jeans, hardly more steady than he was.
“What do you need during all of this?” he asked me, gently cradling my cheeks while I unzipped him.
That answer was complicated, but I only had one hard boundary. I stroked my thumb over the seam of his jeans, his cock pressing hard against it. “Don’t use this on me. Anything else we’ll figure out as we go.”
While Bryan stripped himself down, I scaled the table, feeling foolish and on display until I settled on Carter’s lap.
I rocked experimentally, giving myself a bit of friction before gliding down on his cock.
Everywhere we touched was like a fire set beneath my skin.
When Bryan moved to stand behind me, it sent goose bumps dancing down my arms.
Carter groaned at the squeeze of my pussy around him. We both squeaked as Bryan tugged the tablecloth, my back hitting his chest and Carter coming close enough to lock his ankles behind Bryan. I was already panting and we had hardly begun.
I held my breath as Bryan worked his way into Carter, my omega mewling beneath me. He looked so cute. Desperate little sounds tumbled from his mouth, his brows pinched, and his hands shook against my hips. I had surround sound with Bryan moaning in my ear.
I blew out a long breath, my senses overwhelmed even though I wasn’t the one getting fucked right now.
Craving an alpha had always felt dangerous. That was still the case, but with Carter right here and Bryan’s lips dropping to my throat, all I wanted was to surrender.
“Ready?” Bryan asked against my skin.
Carter’s answering yes was impatient, his hips rocking to urge both of us on. Mine was tentative, softer, but the answer remained the same. “Yes.”