10. Gabriela
CHAPTER 10
GAbrIELA
Lorcan took off on his truck, and I balled my hands into fists, feeling the damp leggings over my legs, triggering a flashback of what just happened in that boat.
Instead of shame, which was what usually came after my sexual encounters, all I could find was more hot lava threatening to pour over the brim.
“Breathe through your nose,” Lorcan said.
I wasn’t paying attention. My mind was flying high. I replayed every word, every look, every moment, and I was soon too deep into a daydream to reply to him.
“Gabriela,” he tried again, this time his hand landing on my bouncing leg and catching my attention.
Oh God. He had huge hands, masculine and powerful, and I found myself rubbing my tights together, feeling soaked and powerless.
“Breathe.”
I tried, but I was panting instead, my lips dry, wanting to beg him to stop the car and take me right there. I wanted him to stretch me, fill me up. I wanted him to look right into my soul with those impossible blue eyes and take me as his.
“Mo chroí.” The term I didn't understand made me look at him. “Breathe slowly.”
I followed his melodic accent, breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth. I felt a little better, the mind fog clearing just for a moment.
“It’s just the heat,” he reminded me.
Yes, the heat. It was too powerful, too much. How could people do this? I was barely a person right now. After years of being smart and ignoring my basic instincts, here I was, nothing but the most basic instincts.
“You need to accept it. You can’t fight it,” Lorcan said, once again reading my mind.
“I want to distract myself.” I looked at the window, trying not to look at his handsome profile.
“The heat is biological, if you try to fight it, your body is just going to try to push harder. Breathe in and sit with it. Know you’ll feel better soon.”
“As soon as I have sex with you three?”
He didn’t reply right away, so I turned back to him. His jaw ticked, the only sign he heard me.
“Lorcan?”
He nodded once. “Yes.”
I couldn’t stop but feel a little rejected. I knew there was more to Lorcan than simply not being that into me. While he avoided physical contact, he paid too much attention to me to mean nothing. The man could read me like a book, so I had to assume he liked me, even if just a little.
I knew I shouldn’t feel that way. I was my mother’s daughter, after all. I knew from a young age people’s issues rarely have anything to do with us. Everyone was battling their own demons, and sometimes, we were in the splash zone.
It stung when I realized my mom was absent not because she disliked me, but because she couldn’t see beyond her addiction. We all want to be special for the people in our lives, and there were dark times when I wished she at least hated me so she felt something toward me.
I shook myself off. This was why I never pursued a relationship. I was too unhealed to deal with another human being. I was too busy stopping generational trauma from reaching Alice. Every step in that direction brought me back to a place I promised to forget.
We remained in silence until we reached the house. I tried to breathe through the heat, but it was becoming hard to think once again.
“Follow me,” he said.
He led me through the house, and I said nothing until we reached a small spiral staircase. Once we hit the third floor, my jaw dropped.
“Oh God.”
The whole floor was just one massive bedroom, a bed so big, I bet it was specially made. Piles of pillows, cushions, and fluffy blankets on top finalized the look of the most perfect bed I’d ever seen.
Shelves with books and records adorned the walls, along with beautiful hanging lights decorated with tiny shells that made my heart skip a beat. It was delicate, so perfect.
My feet stepped toward the window—I was being called by the floor to ceiling glass showing off a breathtaking view of the sea.
A sigh dislodged from my throat when I approached the bed and my fingers danced over the off white silk sheets. The pillows were ocean blue, so pure they reminded me of the color of Lorcan’s eyes.
Again, I was emotional over bedsheets. I always wanted to have pretty things but…
“I never had a matching bedroom set,” I hiccupped, my hand flying to my mouth when I realized I said it out loud.
“No?” Lorcan asked.
I shook my head, and this time, I dared to feel the blankets too. “I always got hand me downs, not matching ones. I—” My eyes filled with tears, and I chuckled. “This is so silly.”
I wanted to stop talking, but in a flash, Lorcan was in front of me, his strong eyebrows furrowed. “It’s not silly. Tell me.”
“It’s nice to have pretty things after a lifetime of just surviving.”
The tears slid down my cheeks, and I opened a sad smile, trying to make it light of it. It was so dumb to feel this way over sheets, but Lorcan wouldn’t let me. He looked at me like what I was saying mattered. He wiped my tears away with the pad of his thumbs like they were precious and he hated I was spilling them.
“I’ll draw a bath for you,” he said in a low voice.
“What?” I asked, confused by the change of subject.
“A bath,” he replied, clearing his throat and walking away from me. “It’ll help with the heat so you can make intelligent decisions.”
I was left in the room hugging myself as he disappeared through the door. After a while, I felt silly waiting around and went to him.
The bathroom was just as impressive as the rest of the room—cream marble, golden accents, and a huge claw tub where he crouched testing the water. But for some reason, it didn't bring me tears of joy this time.
“Almost there,” he told me over his shoulder.
That raw feeling came back, as it did every time I tried to figure Lorcan out. I wasn’t anyone’s favorite, and I should know better than to expect to be by now.
Shit .
Every time I dug into these feelings, I found myself sniffling like a fool. Tears filled my eyes before I could stop myself. I gulped and stepped away, trying not to get his attention, but soon enough, I heard him calling my name and his steps as he joined me back in the bedroom.
I covered my eyes, feeling so damn foolish.
“Gabriela?”
His tone was tender as he rolled his R, trying to match the way I said my name. That small detail nearly broke me. I wanted to be loved, and I wanted to be loved by him.
“It’s okay. Just let it go,” I told him, wiping my tears with the back of my hand.
Lorcan let out a slow breath, his hands coming to his hair as he brushed it out of his face, looking distressed.
“I made you cry twice already,” he said.
“Oh Jesus ,no...” I shook my head and reached out for him, my hand landing on his chest.
We both took a moment to look at it, his sweater soft between my fingers, heat radiating from him straight to my core.
His jaw was locked firmly, his eyes still on my hand.
“You make me so confused,” I whispered.
“I’m sorry,” he replied, looking back at me.
“I just want to understand.”
I watched as his Adam's apple bobbed, intense blue eyes tracing my features.
The quiet minute stretched on, his face serious, like he was working hard on letting something out that was supposed to stay in.
“Let me take care of you.” His big hand covered mine, the need in my gut growing once again. I just nodded.
He took me by the hand this time, easing my fears. I watched him finish with the bath while I waited, leaning against the sink, my arms still around my midsection.
I liked watching Lorcan. He was patient and precise with his movements. I could tell he took everything he did a little too seriously.
Once it was done, he came to me and wordlessly helped me out of my clothes.
My breathing turned heavy, my nipples taut when he removed all my layers and I stood naked in front of him. He was so careful with me, so gentle. It was hard to imagine a fisherman that size could be this soft.
Lorcan extended his hand to clasp mine like he was leading me to a ball. He helped me to the tub, making sure I was comfortable with the temperature as I sank into the fragrant waters.
I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes, resting my back against the tub.
“Eucalyptus is going to help clear your mind.”
He was stood beside me, holding a luffa but unsure how to go about it. I pinned my curls into a pile on top of my head and smiled. “Wash me.”
I couldn’t ever imagine myself being so bold to say something like that out loud, and yet, the words escaped me freely. Lorcan wanted me to say them, so I did.
He crouched quickly, dipping the luffa into the water and starting with my arm. I watched as he cleaned my damp skin with reverence, quiet as ever, giving me a chance to just look at him.
The grey hair, the frown always between his dark eyebrows. He was handsome in a way I couldn't even describe.
“I always wanted to do this,” he whispered, catching me by surprise. My eyes found him. He cleared his throat and continued soaping me. “Take care of my omega. I’m scared to blink in case you disappear.”
“I’ll still be here,” I guarantee.
He nodded but looked even more troubled. “It doesn’t feel real, mo chroí . I wanted you for so long, and I’m not talking about just the idea of an omega. You’re perfect. You, Gabriela. You’re gorgeous, kind, and clever. I’ve only known you for a day, and my heart doesn’t belong to me anymore. How did you do that? How did you reach here,” he poked his chest. “So quickly?”
I tipped my head to the side. “What does mo chroí mean? You said it twice already.”
He swallowed but didn't answer, so I gripped the edge of the tub, sliding to him and ignoring the water that moved and sloshed around. We were so close like this, nose to nose, and I whispered another question, afraid that if I said it out loud, I’d spook him.
“Tell me the truth, Lorcan. What would you do if you weren’t so afraid?”
His eyes heated instantly, and I bit the inside of my cheek not to show the satisfaction I felt blossoming in my chest.
“I’d forget the sponge and use my hands, starting with those perfect nipples. I’m dying to feel them. I want to feel your body, to bring you pleasure like you let my pack brothers do. I want to fill you, stretch your cunt around me.”
A light bulb lit up, and I realized this was the longest sentence he said to me. I wanted to explore that, and not only because his words drove me back to that impossible place with my heat. I wanted to free myself while I was freeing him too.
I was already braver than I ever thought possible. Lorcan melted me. His need broke my heart and built me up a more powerful woman. I needed him to touch me, to feel I was here, that I was real.
“I think you should touch me.”
He released a painful breath, his eyes closing in pain for just a second before his hand closed around my shoulder, kneading the muscle gently before it followed down my arms. My mouth parted in a whisper I didn’t dare let out, and his hands found their way up my belly, over the rolls and soft skin to find my heavy breasts.
I felt him shudder behind me, his warm breath on my ear making my toes curl.
He took me into his hands, his thumb circling my nipples, flicking them as I breathed out, throwing my head back to rest on his shoulder.
“You’re a gift, mo chroí .”
I moaned, letting out the tension building inside me. His mouth fell open on my neck, tasting my skin and humming in approval.
“Lorcan...” I called him.
I needed his hand in my pussy, relieving the pain he and his pack caused. My knees fell open, an invitation if I ever issued one.
“Gabriela…” he groaned my name as if it was a sin, and his hand tracked down my body, reaching the spot between my legs to find me soaking and needy. “I’m a broken man, and you make me whole again.”
“I need you,” I hissed, my hips bucking.
His fingers worked over my clit, a delicious sigh escaping us both as he rubbed me in circles. My legs trembled, and he held me in place, gripping my breast with his other hand.
“Lorcan... Oh my God...”
“Tell me what you need. I’ll give you everything. I’m nothing without you.”
He pushed two thick fingers inside me, the water dancing with the rhythm of his thrusts, my body feverish once again.
He licked my neck as he trusted deep and curved his fingers, hitting a new spot that had me seeing stars.
My legs tried to give, my body melting with every delicious move, but he held me in place, giving me what I needed the most.
“Lorcan, oh my God...” I felt the climax coming, almost trashing with so much need.
“I got you, I got you. I know what you need.”
And he did. He applied just the right pressure, but his words were what took me.
“Give it to me, mo chroí . Come for me. Yes, just like that. That’s it. Show me how you like it.”
And I shattered, right into his hands.