Chapter 20
Beckham
Ijump up from the couch when I hear the front door open.
Leo is the type of guy who’s always put together. Sometimes his calm demeanor can almost come across as emotionless to people who don’t know him well.
But he has the biggest grin on his face as he steps into the penthouse apartment.
“So, how did it go!” I say, clambering out of the thick, plush cushions of our couch.
My nostrils flare the moment I catch Andi’s soothing, chamomile scent on him. He’s practically drenched in her perfume.
“Damn, I’ll take it things went well,” I laugh, sucking in as much of her scent as I can without burying my face in his shirt. That would be awkward.
I can control myself.
I think.
“Yeah,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck, his grin not faltering for a second.
“Come on,” I groan, scrubbing my hands down my face. My fingertips buzz with an anxious sort of energy that reminds me of a schoolyard crush. This is ridiculous. I’m a grown man. “You have to give me more than that.”
“You’re right,” he chuckles. “Sorry, it’s just—I’m still trying to process it all, you know? She’s just...”
“Perfect,” I finish for him.
“She really is. And I swear, she doesn’t see it. At all. It pisses me off whenever I think of the environment she must have been raised in to think the way she does about herself, and I never get pissed off.” He shakes his head. “That’s not what you want to hear, though.”
He takes off his shoes, sliding them into the shoe cabinet by the door.
“Okay, well, we kissed and—”
“Lucky bastard,” I mutter, my voice a pathetic imitation of a growl.
He pauses, lifting a single eyebrow in what must be amusement. “Do you want me to continue?”
“Is that even a question?” I ask, throwing my hands up in the air. “Yes, I want you to continue! What happened before you kissed? And then after? And how was the actual kiss?”
He lets out a soft chuckle before explaining to me the events of the evening.
“And basically, we just agreed to see where things go. We’re going to take things slow and keep them private, but she seemed happy to have someone in her corner for a change.”
“This is a bad idea,” Eli grumbles from behind me.
I jump, whirling around. I was so focused on Leo’s words I completely missed Eli joining us.
Wow, this Andi situation has me twisted up in knots. Eli’s a hard guy to miss.
“Be quiet,” I huff, shoving Eli in the chest before spinning back to Leo. “Go on, how did things go between you two?”
Leo looks at Eli, his gaze intense.
“You know, Andi mentioned she wouldn’t be opposed to a pack.” He says the words deceptively casually, but based on the way his gaze is locked onto Eli, I instantly know what he’s getting at.
The three of us have been friends forever. We live together now. Us becoming a pack and sharing an omega between us seems like a logical next step.
Eli’s nostrils flare, almost as if he’s trying to scent the hints of Andi’s perfume clinging to Leo. But he stays silent, his jaw working before he spins on his heel and storms away.
I feel my heart straining under the tension of being pulled in two directions. Part of me wants to go follow Eli. I’d ask him what’s wrong, then reassure him that everything will be right regardless of what he thinks is wrong, because that’s what I do.
But the other part of me needs to know more about what Andi said. I’m gnawing at the bars of the cage that are my mind and my stupid omega hormones, begging for scraps.
“Are you serious?” I rasp, running a hand through my hair as I turn back to Leo.
“Yeah, man.”
Would I have a space in that pack though? Packs are traditionally a bunch of alphas, maybe the occasional beta, with a single omega. Has there ever been a pack with two omegas?
Will it be possible for us to be the first?
“You’re thinkin an awful lot,” Leo says, clapping a hand on my shoulder and snapping me out of my funk. “You’re worried about whether she’d pick you too, right?”
“That obvious, huh?”
“Maybe,” he shrugs, his lips quirking up in a small smile.
“But you’re forgetting something. You’ve got the ability to act like you’re with her in public.
You just have to convince her that it’s real.
With this whole complicated contract thing going on between her mother’s team and us, I can’t even hold her hand outside. ”
“You really think I can convince her?”
“I’ve got faith in you. You haven’t seen the digitals from that ad campaign you two did yet. You two look like you’re meant to be together. Like you actually have been for a whole lot longer than the public thinks.”
“Yeah, well, I also tossed her off my lap and abandoned her at that shoot,” I groan, scrubbing my hands down my face. “You were the one to actually pick her up.”
“Then you’ve just got more to make up for.”
“Okay,” I nod, swallowing past the lump in my throat. “I can try to do that.”
Even if I am a freak of nature, I like Andi enough that I don’t give a shit. I have to try or else I’d regret it for the rest of my life.
“I think... I need to get some rest.” My head feels like it’s spinning.
“Yeah, me too. Goodnight, Beck.”
“Night.”
I know the moment I grip the doorknob to my bedroom that Eli is waiting for me.
Maybe it’s the hint of his blood orange scent lingering in the hallway, almost like he paced in front of my door over and over again, deciding whether he wanted to go in or not. Or maybe it’s because I just know him well enough to know he’ll be here.
“Hi,” I rasp, seeing him sprawled out on my bed.
Somewhere between him storming off earlier and now, he’s lost his shirt. My burnt caramel scent sweetens in the air at the sight of his tattooed, tan skin. There’s just... so much of it.
He’s as broad as he is a jerk, sometimes. And he can be a massive jerk.
“Hi,” he says, tugging back a corner of my covers and lifting his arm.
I come to him, like a moth to a flame, curling myself into his side like I’m meant to be there.
His blood orange scent fills my lungs, and I feel all the earlier tension simmering in my body melting away.
“You like her, don’t you.” It’s a question, but Eli says it like more of a statement.
His words make me push myself off his chest, away from his warm strength, even though it’s the last thing I really want to do.
I open my mouth, struggling to come up with the right response.
“You don’t have to lie. I heard the music you wrote about her.”
I wince, closing my eyes.
I can’t bear to look at him right now.
“Yeah, you’re right. Does that bother you?”
He’s silent for far too long.
“Lotta things bother me,” he grunts. “Don’t take it personal.”
“So it does bother you?”
“It bothering me shouldn’t bother you.”
His words grate on my nerves.
“But it does. We should—we should figure this out. So let’s talk this through, okay? Maybe—”
“What, like we’re so good at talking shit through?” Eli lets out a bitter huff of laughter, making me stiffen. The small distance between us feels as big as the Mariana Trench.
“Eli... Please, I don’t want this to get between us.”
“Why?” he says, his expression twisted in a pained grimace. “Because you need me?”
I jerk back as if he’s just slapped me.
“That—that was a low blow,” I whisper, my voice strained.
His expression twists. He knows exactly how low of a blow that was. But he doesn’t take it back. The anger he’s feeling is far too intense for him to let go.
“Why—why would you say that?” I rasp.
“I can’t stand it,” he growls. “I can’t fuckin’ stand the way that girl came crashing into our lives and you’re just... what the hell does she have that I don’t?”
His words crack through me like a whip once more.
Did Elijah Castillo really just ask me that?
Well, I guess it makes sense as a question. He and Andi couldn’t be more different. But Eli’s been my rock ever since we were kids.
“You’re—you’re jealous,” I whisper, the realization dawning on me. “Of Andi?”
His jaw works as his hands fist in my fuzzy blankets. The dichotomy between his massive, veiny hands and the soft fabric almost makes me laugh from the absurdity.
The contrast reminds me of the difference between him and Andi.
“So what if I am?” he bites out.
“Why—why are you jealous?”
Eli’s nostrils flare.
“I’ve been careful. I’ve been patient,” he says slowly, seemingly trying to control his tone as much as he can. “But you’ve only been interested in seeing what you want to see.”
“I don’t know what you mean,” I say with a shake of my head. My heart feels like it’s about to pound out of my chest.
“You think this arrangement is a hardship on me. You remind me of that every time I do anything for you. Have you ever fuckin’ thought that I do it because I want to?”
“It? As in... everything?”
“Everything, you idiot.” He scowls. “It didn’t hit me till you perfumed, but when you did... there was no fucking going back.”
His words make my head spin.
What in the world?
“So when you finally wanted me. Outside of your heat. Outside of you needing me, I thought it was finally happening. That you were finally ready. And then she went ahead and ruined everything. The night of the Grammys and again now.”
“Again now?” I repeat like a parrot, seemingly incapable of normal speech.
“Yeah, now. Because you want her for real. I can’t pretend it’s just for the cameras. I don’t think it ever really fuckin’ was.”
“And that... ruins things?”
Eli lets out a soft huff, sitting straight and reaching out towards my face. He grips my chin and forces me to look him in the eye.
“Yeah, Beck. ‘Cause I’ve been wanting things to be real ever since you rode my knot and came all over my chest that first time you went into heat.”
My cheeks instantly erupt, my blush probably reaching my ears.
“What, now you’re getting all shy?” His voice is pitched so low it vibrates through my chest, shooting right to my dick.
He notices.
Of course he fucking notices.
He notices everything.
Not only does he notice everything, but he doesn’t grant me the mercy of ignoring it either.