40. Orso
Orso
This is so fucking awkward. And I’m making it even worse because I can’t stop looking at her in her fucking team gear and her sexy as fuck long white jacket.
Who the hell thought it was a good idea to give our ice-cold doctor a yellow-and-brown striped fluffy sweater with a fucking teddy bear on it?
And how the hell did she get all her hair curled up in a tight bun?
Even being in the same room as Kallis is asking for trouble, but it’s worse because she’s not reacting to me in the slightest. I straight up told her that my heart is racing and it’s her fault, and she just gave me a blank look and carried on like it’s nothing.
Each time she reaches out her left arm, all I can picture is the way she stretched her hand for me when she was trapped between Mathan and Artie. Whether she was coming or panicking, she looked at home with them.
It doesn’t matter if she picks up her pen or takes a sip of water, types figures into her tablet, or lowers the stupid helmet.
Just looking at her fucking arm turns me on to the point where I’ve folded my hands over my chest and curled my nails into my palms. The pressure stings, and it’s enough to distract me and my fucking cock.
Now I’m stuck in this helmet looking at an empty, black space, and I can feel her body heat as she adjusts it. If she lifts it off, her breasts will be right in my face, and I can wrap my hands around her hips and finally feel her against me again.
Yeah, I’m still horny from when she screwed Mathan and Artie, but seeing her panic like that has shaken all of us. We just want to know if she’s okay, but she bolts whenever she sees us. Now Artie’s so anxious that he can’t sleep, and we need to do something about it.
But she looks fine now. As fine as Kallis ever was. Does she still have bruises from where her dad pinched her? Because, even from the other side of the room, we could see how hard he dug his fingers into her.
After the restaurant incident, Artie and I talked for long enough to come to an understanding; comforting Kallis brought us back together.
Or more like I told him never to bite her without her permission again, and he agreed too quickly.
It doesn’t mean he won’t try it, but at least we can watch out for it.
The rest of the Bears guessed that the four of us are in a relationship, and even though I keep telling them it’s not like that, Artie and Mathan won’t correct them, and they are all gutless bastards who won’t ask Kallis directly.
The helmet buzzes around my head, and all I want to do is rip the fucking thing off so I can actually talk to her. I need to know if she’s just out to snag my mates or if she wants us all as a pack.
But her face is neutral as she pulls it away, not a single wisp of honey in the air.
“That’s all, thank you. You may go,” she says as she taps the screens some more, alternating between her tablet and the machine.
“What? Seriously?” I ask, blinking at her numbly. She’s getting rid of me just like that?
“Was there something more? I have all my measurements, so there’s nothing else to do here.”
“Are you joking?” I ask, rising from the chair. My heart jumps as I meet her face-to-face, especially at the smallest furrow in her brow.
“What would I have to joke about? I only required the scans along with other minor details.”
“You don’t have anything else to say to me?”
Her hands tighten around the tablet as I take a step closer. I definitely don’t imagine the way she nibbles her bottom lip as she avoids my gaze.
“I don’t understand why you are getting worked up,” she replies softly. She’s not the best at sussing people out, but she should understand I’m not mincing my words.
“Because you’re acting like there’s nothing happening here when my body is going haywire just standing next to you. I feel like I’m going crazy, and you don’t even want us.”
I just need to know what’s going on in her mind as she looks at me like I’m any other team member.
She pauses, her pretty lips parting, looking as confused as I feel that I’d just blurted that out. I didn’t want to get wound up, but it’s too hard to see her acting like we’re nothing to her.
I’ve been mulling non-stop over what Mathan said about my feelings for her, and it’s why I’ve waited to be alone with her for so long. And now that I’m actually with her, I can’t do anything except fucking growl.
“I never said I didn’t want you, Orso. I said I don’t want to be tied down to alphas who believe a bite is the only way to have a relationship. Just because we’ve scent matched doesn’t mean it has to be all or nothing.”
“I’m not asking you to share a bite. Fuck, I don’t even want to bond with you. I just want to know where this is going.”
“Does there have to be a definitive answer? I’m still here for another five months, so why do we have to make a choice? I’m grateful that you helped me when I was distressed, but there were extenuating circumstances. I doubt it will happen again.”
Kallis backs away from me, placing her tablet on her desk as she watches me cautiously. I don’t mean to go on the attack, but I’m restless, and I need her to confirm her fucking feelings so I can figure out my pack’s next move.
“You’re really just staying for the season and then leaving? After everything we’ve done together?”
“I’m confused about what you think we’ve done.
If you think that one sexual encounter with two out of three of your pack members is enough for me to give up on the goal I’ve been working toward since I was a child, then thank you for showing your true colors.
I already made it clear to Artie that I won’t change my life for you. ”
But the idea of her leaving us for good suddenly gives me the answer to Mathan’s question. Because my heart clenches, my stomach drops, fear whispering through me that she might leave because she doesn’t want us…
Everything she said is absolutely reasonable, and I’m on board with it. I don’t want to change just because we scent matched with her, either, but that doesn’t mean I want her to leave.
“When’s your heat due?” The second I ask, the color drains from her already-pale face. Her lips press firmly together as she looks away again. It’s a fucking struggle not to take her chin and bring her gaze back to me.
I told Artie off for asking her so bluntly, but it has to be coming soon. He obsessively checks her work schedule to see if she’s taken three or more days off, and she hasn’t since she arrived.
“Why does it matter?” she replies. “If you think that sexually engaging with Mathan and Artie means that I’ll change my life for you, why do you think I would want to spend my heat with you?” Just hearing the word ‘sexually’ gets me even more worked up, but I have to focus.
Her nostrils flare as she glares at me, and it’s so fucking hot that I’m struggling. “If it’s conditional, I don’t want it. I’d prefer to suffer alone than be forced to become your omega just because I need a knot.”
“I didn’t mean it like that,” I growl. Rage flashes in her eyes, and I move even closer just to feel her sparks.
“Then explain yourself, Orso. Why do you believe I should give up everything about myself the moment you touch my pussy? Do I not get a say in my own life? My biology requires me to take a knot, but I can still choose who knots me. And you’re not exactly making a strong case.”
The idea of her being knotted by anyone else but us has anger whipping through me so fiercely that I’ve already snapped before I realize it. It burns into my scent, my clover turning sharp, and she catches it instantly.
“Look at you.” She scowls. “If you get so worked up over my heat that you can’t keep your head on straight, what makes you think I want to spend it with you?”
“You can go on all you want about not wanting us, but your honey says differently.” Except nothing’s coming off her.
We haven’t scented her since the restaurant, and it’s been driving us crazy. Mathan and Artie still have their clothes from that day, but the scent on them is so thick with distress that it upsets them to smell them.
I want to touch her so fucking badly. But when I lift my hand, Kallis steps back. Her shoulders tense, arms folded, clearly telling me to stay away.
My mates have been inside her, loved her, and made her come, but I’m the one she begged for when she needed someone the most. Yet I still feel like I don’t have any right to touch her.
Kallis clicks her tongue. “This is why I don’t want to be with any alphas.
You have this assumption that because I presented as an omega and I go through heats, I’m looking to be dominated.
Everything I’ve accomplished in life just gets swept away as soon as I need a knot.
If people hold a light up to the two of us, you’ll shine brighter than I do simply because you play hockey.
It doesn’t matter how hard I work; next to you, I’ll always be just an omega. ”
I actually like hearing her rant and pour out her feelings. I hope it means she trusts me, but I doubt it.
“Kallis.” My voice softens as I move toward her.
I’m afraid to get in her space, and everything I’d spoken about with Mathan still hangs around me.
But it doesn’t matter that her words are clipped and she sounds furious, because she’s stopped backing away.
“If you ever think you could be smaller than us, you have no idea how fucking incredible you are.”
She glares at me, and it’s so obvious she doesn’t believe a word I say.
“Don’t you want a chance to know what it’s like to be loved by your scent matches?” I ask. I can’t believe I’m the one who’s trying to convince her after everything I’d said and done since we met.
Silence picks up between us as her chest rises and falls. Even if she refuses to look at me, I know she’s responding.
I don’t want to bite her again, but I sure as hell want to feel her heart blend with mine. Then I’d be able to know what she feels as I press one knee between her legs, and she gasps.
“Can I touch you?” I ask, needing to go further.
Her tut is enough of a reply. “You three are so bad at asking for permission.”
“But are you saying no?”
She flinches as I cup her elbows. I want to bring her even nearer, but her head stays dipped as a sexy growl pours from her. I want her to rage at me so she’ll snap and snarl, and she shows me her power.
“I’ve never had a heat with anyone I actually like,” she confesses. It doesn’t matter that her voice is dry, like she’s just relaying facts. It hurts to think of how many heats she must have had, either alone or with alphas who didn’t care about her.
“That just makes it easier for us to please you.” I rub my thumb over her elbows, warmth building between us.
“I don’t know how it will go. I can’t say it will even be enjoyable. And I can’t be with alphas who make me sacrifice my life’s work in exchange for their cocks.”
The slightest wisps of honey laced with apprehension curl from her, and I nearly buckle.
“It won’t have to mean anything, at least not to me.
Just let us be there for you, like we were at the restaurant.
” Even though I’m definitely going to use it to find out if I can watch Mathan and Artie going into rut with an omega without having another breakdown.
I want to see if I can cope with making love to her while knowing she won’t stay with us. Can I deal with the fact that even touching her is enough to set off my alpha side’s need to possess her?
“Orso,” she says softly, and so out of character for her. “The reason I don’t want to be with you… I mean, I can’t be with the three of you because…” she trails off so quietly I have to lean in to hear her. “It’s because even one of your scents makes me feel like I’m going to break.”
My body stiffens, hand sliding to her waist as the other cups the back of her neck. I tug her close, pressing my hard cock against her, our growls rumbling between us.
“Then fucking break for me, Kallis,” I snap as I pull her into a kiss, and she answers me with a moan.