Chapter 48
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
Kenny
W hat an incredible night.
Call me old-fashioned, but nothing made me love a girl like seeing her take down bad guys and successfully execute a hostage rescue.
But really, working with her only cemented one more thing in the arsenal of skill, beauty, and kindness she possessed, and it threatened to undo me.
Especially now that this really was goodbye.
“Thanks for letting me tag along,” she said, toeing a rock near her shoe.
“My pleasure, really. We make a good team.” She had to see that, didn’t she?
“We do.” Her eyes bored into mine, seeing past the smile I only barely felt straight into the heart of me.
It was on the tip of my tongue to ask her to stay. Maybe she could be happy working here. Maybe she could be happy with me.
But if I asked her to walk away, what kind of man was I? What kind of person asks someone he loves to leave what she loved? To sacrifice what she wanted most for him?
Not me. I couldn’t do it—wouldn’t.
Elizabeth had a successful career that was far from over and she could stay and let the years roll on, continuing to make a difference on a potentially global scale.
I knew the pain of having that purpose torn from you, and even if I wanted her desperately, I wouldn’t foist that on her. I couldn’t.
“Thank you for all the time you gave me,” I said, my voice rough from the long night and yeah, maybe a little emotion, too.
Her hand rose to press against my stubbled cheek. “Thank you for giving me this glimpse.”
A hundred things raced into my head to say—an argument to make her stay, a joke to lighten the moment, a declaration of the truth—that I loved her so completely I didn’t know how I would function once she really left. That I would give her not a glimpse, but a lifetime, if she’d just let me.
But before I could land on anything, she pulled me in for a hot, fierce kiss, then turned and left.
I watched her go until she turned the corner to the parking garage. I debated running after her and stealing another kiss, or maybe dropping to my knees to beg her to give me another moment with her. But I’d determined to let her go so she could leave without guilt.
Resolved not to have a breakdown at work, I decided to have lunch at home before returning. I’d let myself take a minute and feel my feelings like a healthy human being, eat the leftover soup from dinner last night, and get back to the office to start fresh. I didn’t need to work a long day since we’d started early, but the thought of staying here didn’t fit.
I got home and stumbled to the couch. Kit sniffed along my arm, then jumped and settled his little bum right against my forehead where it rested on the couch.
“Thank you so much,” I said, voice ragged with tears.
His soft meow trilled, and he readjusted, curling his little face toward me and licking my cheek. Gross, considering he bathed himself with that tongue, but still a sweet gesture I wouldn’t ignore.
“Come here,” I said, cradling him to me. I settled back, resting him on my chest, and watched as he circled, then snuggled down into me. A sliver of the agony shredding my heart eased as I watched his little body rise and fall with his breaths.
After crying, then calming, I returned to work and powered through the last few hours of the day. There was enough to do in terms of writing up a report of what had happened last night, and it was best to do it when it was fresh.
And hey, I only teared up like twelve times while writing it. Yay, me.
That night, I somehow convinced everyone—especially Cookie and Stone—that I was fine. I’d been up much of the night, and I truly just wanted to sleep. To wake up and decide to live the new day, so I did.
Only problem with that plan was knowing her flight had taken off and every minute of the day was taking her farther away. It just felt so wrong.
“Do you want to look at the assignments board with me?” Bruce asked, interrupting my dazed stare into a coffee mug.
“Sure,” I said, no excitement whatsoever for the idea, but knowing I needed to get some plans on my horizon. I had to.
I followed him into his office and took a seat. Wilder was there, too.
“Hey, Saint.”
“Barbie.”
“Elizabeth was pretty subdued at the family dinner last night.”
Pain lanced through me. “Yeah. Leaving has to be hard.”
Wilder nodded. “Especially when you’re leaving loved ones.”
Loved ones. Why did everything he said make this hurt worse, not better? “Yeah, I bet.”
“And especially since she’s leaving a place I don’t think she wants to leave.”
My head snapped up to inspect him. “What does that mean?”
He waited like he thought it might occur to me naturally, but acquiesced and explained. “She clung to Jo and Darcy with everything she had. She was as close to distraught as I can imagine that woman being.”
My heart hurt. My soul hurt. “I hate that.”
He nodded. “Yeah. It was awful.”
Bruce clapped as though we’d gotten off-track and he was redirecting, as though he was completely oblivious to the gut-wrenching conversation going on directly in front of him.
“Not sure what you’re thinking for my next assignment, but?—”
“Did you know there’s a listing for Europe right now?” Bruce asked .
I blinked.
“Hijack’s popping back for a bit and we need someone out who’s flexible. But that person could, should they have a reason to stay in one place, choose to live in any city that’s near a major airport.”
A glimmer of light slipped into the darkness in my chest. “That’s… interesting.”
Wilder just stared, but Bruce nodded meaningfully. “Isn’t it?”
“But I’m not sure if… um, well, if the city would want me there.”
Wilder huffed softly and said, “The city wants you.”
Bruce grinned. “I think the city wants you any way the city can get you. And we want you, too. So we’ll work with you to make this work.”
Throat tight, I swallowed hard. “What are you saying?” I couldn’t afford to misunderstand this.
“They’re saying you can be with her and keep your job at Saint, too.” My head snapped to the doorway where Cookie leaned in. “They’re also about to say that you’re booked on a flight to Budapest first thing tomorrow, so you better go pack.”
Everything clicked into place and I knew. They were right. I couldn’t leave my family at Saint Security, but the idea of living without Liz was unbearable. I didn’t know if she’d want me, but I had to try. I had to offer up this compromise that didn’t take from her and allowed me to keep the things dearest to me.
I cackled and shot out of my chair.
“I’ll take it.”