Chapter Seventeen
Amelie
I snort thinking about Baxter’s middle name. I mean, how awesome must his mother have been, to give her child the middle name Bojangles behind his father’s back considering how pretentious the rest of his name is.
Bellowing laughter filters through my slightly ajar door and I decide it's time to get up from my afternoon nap. Chelsea had us at the beach all day and Kalen was so excitable the entire time. Making sandcastles, body boarding in the waves, chasing seagulls. There was never a dull moment.
I follow the laughter down the stairs and into the kitchen.
"Help me, it burns. It's so thick."
I rush towards the kitchen even faster. What the hell are they doing to Kalen? Rushing in, I Tom-Cruise-slide on the lino. Kalen has his head sideways under the kitchen sink, black gunk washing down the drain.
"What are you doing?" I demand, hands on my hips.
"Giving your boy toy a welcome to Australia."
Kalen surfaces, his face still scrunched up in disgust and dripping with water.
"How do you eat that stuff? It tastes so bad!” he whimpers. My lips twitch.
Aadi and Smalls smile; Kalen’s reaction has made their day.
"It's an acquired taste," Smalls says. "You did insist you were a real man and wanted a whole spoonful."
"You let him eat it off the spoon?”
They both nod.
"I can still taste it in my nose,” Kalen whines.
"Less is more when it comes to Vegemite." I laugh. "Probably best to go brush your teeth."
He nods and runs out of the kitchen. Aadi and Smalls both look at each other and fall into hysterical laughter.
"What have you done?" I ask with dread.
"Just wait for it," Smalls replies.
"If he wants in with a Rossi, he needs a true lesson in sibling fun."
Oh god, he means our pranks.
Kalen’s blood curdling scream fills the house. I shoot a quick disapproving look at Aadi and run up to the bathroom. Chelsea is close behind me.
Kalen screams and pleads for someone to help him. I push the bathroom door open. Someone is standing behind the door, and before I can get one step inside, Kalen shoots out of the room.
"It’s behind the door! It tried to kill me!" he cries. I know Kalen’s a massive drama queen and my brother’s pranks are mostly harmless, but there’s real fear etched on his face.
I step into the bathroom and look behind the door, expecting to find a spider or some kind of bug. Instead, I find a very tiny girl smiling back at me.
Kalen’s issue with that? She’s dressed like a clown.
"Katie?" I ask, and she nods.
"Have you killed it yet?!” Kalen cries.
I exit the bathroom and Katie follows behind me.
"No, it's just Katie."
"Get it away from me!” he cries.
Chelsea now has a sobbing Kalen in her arms, facing him away from the innocent looking girl dressed as a clown.
"Sorry. I lost a bet and this is what they made me do,” Katie says, pulling off her clown wig. She walks back into the bathroom to get changed.
I turn back to see Kalen has composed himself a little. Chelsea points at Smalls and Aadi and gives them a ‘follow me now’ look. Chelsea may be a sweet woman but when she is mad, you will feel the wrath.
"I think I pissed myself a little," Kalen grumbles. His face still red from the terror my brother forced on him.
"I'm sorry about that, but if Aadi is pranking you it's a sign of endearment for us Rossis.”
"So we are brothers now?" he asks hopefully.
"I wouldn't go that far, but you are growing on him."
"Like a damn fungus," Aadi groans, joining us back upstairs. "We’re heading out in about half an hour if you're still up for it."
I stare up at my brother. "No more damn pranks.”
"Scout’s honour."
"You were no damn scout." I laugh and so does Aadi.
He doesn't wait for Kalen to respond to his invitation when the sound of a girl’s voice catches his attention downstairs.
"You don't mind if I go?” Kalen asks.
"Of course not. Just take your phone, and if you need me, call. If they’re really giving you a welcome to the family it could go either way for you."
"I'm game. He pulled out the clown card early, so it can't get much worse than that."
I smile at him indulgently. He has no idea how much worse tonight could get for him. Knowing his luck, they will get him blind drunk, tie him up naked to a pole somewhere public and probably shave off his eyebrows too.
Katie slips out of the bathroom freshly showered. "I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, but Crystal and I are having a girls’ night along with a few others if you want to join us?”
"Sounds fun. I'm in." I grin. While I never really did the girly thing before going to England, I miss Elsie, and some female company could be just what I need. Otherwise, without Kalen around to entertain, I’d probably spend the entire evening obsessing over Onyx and texting the others back home to find out how he really is.
"Awesome! I have to go talk to Jason but I’ll wait for you."
I nod and she heads down the stairs.
Kalen pulls me into the spare room. "Want a quickie before we go out?" He waggles his brows at me in a completely over the top and not at all sexy gesture. I laugh.
"No way, the guys are just starting to like you."
"Good point, drunk sex later sounds better anyway."
I shake my head; he is incorrigible. Backing away, I poke my tongue out at him and slip through the door. He’ll be down soon enough.
Walking down into the lounge, I could cut the tension with a knife. Smalls and Katie are sitting on the sofa next to each other. Smalls looks like a giant next to her. They’re both staring at Aadi and Bex.
“Amelie,” Bex says. “Tell your arrogant brother that it is totally acceptable to invite myself out with you girls. Everyone my age has balls and as much as I love balls, this testosterone is bullshit.” Bex crosses her arms in front of her chest. Aadi is practically snarling at her across the room.
“Aad, it’s fine. You don't mind her tagging along, do you Katie?”
I turn to Katie but she isn’t paying attention. Smalls bumps his leg into hers.
“Huh? Oh, yeah, it’s fine,” she replies.
“Sweet! Let's get white girl wasted!” Bex sings, and Aadi groans.
‘Young dumb and broke’ by Khalid pumps through the speakers as we all walk into the pub. Bex high fives a table of guys.
“Happy birthday,” she says, winking at the guy on the end.
“Do you know him?” I ask.
“No. Should I?” She frowns back at me.
“You just told him happy birthday,” Katie adds, sounding as puzzled as I feel.
“Well, I probably won’t see him before his birthday so it’s only polite to say it in advance.
” She shrugs like what she just said is a perfectly reasonable explanation and skips off towards the bar, high fiving the bartender when she gets there.
The young guy leans over the bar and kisses her on the cheek. I hope she knows that guy.
“She’s...interesting,” Katie says. I nod. That’s one way of putting it, but I do like her.
We spot Crystal sitting near the pool tables and she waves us over.
“She sure is. I’ll go order us some drinks. Any requests?” I ask.
“Nothing fruity,” she replies before heading to join Crystal.
I make my way towards Bex, who is animatedly talking to the bartender still, laughing at whatever he just said.
“Ordered any drinks yet?” I ask. She looks back at me and smiles.
“Not yet, I was waiting for you. I wasn’t sure what you wanted.”
“Nothing fruity.”
“Me either girl, my legs tend to fall open if I drink that girly shit.” The bar tender grins lasciviously and nods. I know he’s filed that information away for later. I see fruity girly drinks in Bex’s future if the bartender has anything to say about it.
“Can I get eight tequila shots and a jug of Jack? Four cups, please.”
We wait while the drinks are being made. I look back over at Katie and think how she really would make a good girlfriend for Smalls. They’d look super cute together and she’s so much nicer than skank face Sarah.
“You hot for her?” Bex asks, bumping my shoulder.
“Me? No, I have four boyfriends. They’re hot, but a handful. Don’t need any more.”
“Four?! We have to talk about this, but first what’s the deal with the girl?”
“I was thinking of setting her up with Smalls.”
“Jason? It would make it hard for sixty niners though.”
I snort. This chick really just says the first thing that comes to mind. The bartender slides a tray towards Bex and she passes the cash to him.
“Keep the change, Nick.”
“I kind of thought that you and Jason were a thing. He always talks about you. I’ve been curious to meet you. He holds you on this pedestal, and I reckon it will be pretty impossible for anyone to measure up to that.”
“We’ve sorted it out, we’re both moving on,” I say dismissively. I like Bex, but I don’t want to get into that whole mess with her. My relationship with Smalls is complicated enough without spilling my secrets to a virtual stranger.
We reach the table and Bex introduces herself to Crystal and takes a seat after letting me slide in ahead of her.
“So, did Amelie tell you she has four boyfriends?” Bex announces to the table. Crystal’s mouth makes an O shape and Katie looks indifferent; clearly she already knows, someone has filled her in. Probably Smalls. I wonder how that conversation went down.
‘Bad things’ by Camila Cabello and MGK catches Bex’s attention, taking the focus off me and my four boyfriends.
“Fuck, I love MGK. He is so damn hot. He kinda reminds me of your brother.”
“My brother?” I scoff. “They look nothing alike.”
“I mean, if he dyed his hair and lost the baby fat on his face,” she jokes. Aadi has a square jaw, whereas MGK doesn’t.
“Can we go back to the four boyfriends?” Crystal asks. “Who and how does that work? That blonde hottie is fine as hell and now you’re telling me there are three more?”
“Yep. They’re all sorta adopted brothers. Though two of them are actual brothers. Twins actually,” I reply happily.
“Ohmygod!” Crystal’s eyes are like saucers at my declaration.