Chapter Seventeen #2
“Did you have a twin sandwich yet?” Bex asks. I can’t keep the grin from my face. “Have you done it with all four of them? You know, at the same time?”
“Wouldn’t that be weird?” I counter, frowning. I mean, it’s not like I’ve never thought about it, but only in a passing fantasy kind of way.
“Fuck no!” Bex exclaims. “You have to do it!”
We spend the next few hours dancing, drinking and talking – mainly about my guys – and I run them through everything, minus The Order of the Sneezes.
I also try to drop as many hints as I can to Katie about Smalls, but she acts as if she doesn’t know what I’m talking about.
I still see the slight blush every time I mention him though.
Bex manages to talk about Aadi way more than someone should when they allegedly hate them.
By the time one in the morning rolls around we’re all extremely drunk. When Crystal vomits on the dance floor we decided to call it a night. How she still managed to pick up and leave with a guy after that blows my mind.
Bex, Katie and I walk to the taxi rank. Usually they all line up here but tonight there’s some event happening so the last taxi left already. We debate waiting.
“Walking would be faster,” Katie points out.
“No way,” I slur. ‘If I walk anywhere alone, I’ll be murdered. My brother isn’t exactly a nice guy when it comes to my safety and the guys…” Talking of the guys, I get a brain fart. I have security. Surely they have to be around here somewhere?
“Come out, come out, wherever you are,” I yell in my drunken state.
“Who are you yelling at?” Bex demands. “You’ll attract the crazy people.”
“She is the crazy people!” Katie adds with a giggle.
“I know you’re there! I will strip off naked and walk home. While I make a phone call to Baxter. I’m calling now.” I mention Baxter because if these guys work for The Order, then Baxter is the name to drop.
A tall man slips out of the shadows holding a walkie talkie.
“Don’t come any closer! I know kung fooooooo and I’m not afraid to use it!
” Bex cries, holding herself up in some kind of pose that is supposed to be threatening but just looks ridiculous.
She kinda reminds me of a female Kalen, only less annoying.
I laugh until my stomach hurts, tears streaming down my face.
“Calm down, kung fu panda, he’s my security.”
“You have security?! Why? Are you famous?” Katie shriek-slurs and falls into Bex’s arms.
A car pulls up to the curb beside us and Security One runs around and opens the door. Bex attempts to contort Katie’s body and shove her into the car.
“Holy fuck, this is more work than trying to shove a soft cock into a pussy.”
“Meow,” Katie purrs.
Bex and I cry with laughter as I help her push Katie into the car and buckle her in. With absolutely no help whatsoever from the security guy. I huff. Jasper and Frost would have helped.
“Miss Rossi, we have been instructed to take you home first.”
“Aye aye, captain!” Bex salutes.
As we drive home Katie snores and Bex chats up the security – who really do try their best not to engage with her, but she makes it impossible. I laugh almost the entire way back to the house. I don’t realise we’ve pulled up out the front of Dad's house until Aadi runs over to the car.
“A little help please?” he asks, pointing towards his car. His friend Paddy looks horrified in the front seat.
I slide from the car and Aadi slides in. “What do you think you’re doing, perv?” Bex snaps.
“Pfft, as if I would perv on your manly ass.”
“Manly?! You could bounce coins off this baby!” she snarls as the car pulls away.
I jog over to Paddy’s car and open the back door. Kalen is naked and sprawled across the entire seat.
“Where are his clothes?” I ask Paddy. He looks at me and shrugs.
“Kalen, it’s time for bed.”
“No,” he whines. “I wanna dance.”
He starts humming under his breath and it takes me a moment to figure out the tune.
“Is that...are you singing...Ghostbusters?”
“WHO YA GONNA WHATSAPP?!”
“This is not how the song goes, Kalen.”
“MY SISTER!” he continues to scream-sing at me oblivious to the time, his nakedness, or the danger of waking the street. I need to get him quiet and inside. Quickly.
“Hey, Kalen? What about that drunken sex I was promised?”
Kalen suddenly springs up out of his seat and slides out of the car with the grace of a ballerina.
“You didn’t hear a thing,” I warn Paddy.
“Hear what?”
I grin and nod, and he reverses the car out of the driveway as soon as I push the back door closed.
“Did you know Aus is like the hunger games?” Kalen whines in my ear. He’s trying to be quiet but he’s still kinda loud.
“Okay,” I say to placate him, hauling his ass through the house.
“Just tonight there were kangaroos hop-hop-hopping across the road in front of cars and they were buff…” I shake my head in amusement at him. Only Kalen could find a kangaroo buff.
“And the mozzies, oh dear god the mozzies! Amelie, why didn’t you warn me?
! Those bastards stole my blood.” I look at him more closely and see the welts on his arms, angry and red.
“And did you know you have ants that bite your nuts? I don’t even know if I can have kids now.
I can’t feel my left nut. That was my favourite nut!
Now it’s broken,” he finishes pitifully.
“Kalen—”
“And what sort of place has spiders that spin webs straight after you walk past them so when you turn around...BAM! You have that hairy fucker stuck between your face and its web? I can still taste it. And then there’s owls that dive bomb your car!
I used to like owls. Hedwig! Wise old Owl in Winnie the Pooh!
The Owl and the Pussycat. Owl Brown!” He’s practically crying now, randomly screaming famous owl names out at me.
“Kalen!” I hiss. “You need to shut the fuck up!”
“Where’s the deadly mist? That’s all that's missing.”
Kalen finally stops ranting when I get him up the stairs. I push my door open and Kalen stumbles inside. We’ve slept apart to respect Chelsea’s wishes, but tonight I plan to sleep in his arms. I just need it.
I manage to help him over to the bed and pull the covers back. He pulls me down with him and we both fall onto the bed. I give him a quick peck on the lips
“Did you know your brother is a criminal?” he whispers conspiratorially to me.
“Yeah, I had an idea. No more so than you and your brothers.” I smirk.
“Touché,” he says, rolling me over so that we’re spooning. “So how about that drunken sex?”
I laugh and Kalen takes that as a go ahead to pull off my pants.
“Kalen stop! I just wanna snuggle.” I try to insist.
“Shush. It’s total bullshit how little frolicking I get to do. I was made for frolicking! Let me show you how frolicky I can be.”
“Kalen—”
He chastises me and tells me to keep quiet. When I try to stop him, he puts a pillow over my head to try to muffle out the noises I’m making. As his head descends between my thighs, I give up fighting him on this. Fucking hell. Drunk Kalen is damn good with his tongue.