“Get the fuck away from him.” #5
“I don’t mind. Something hot would be nice. I haven’t had many hot meals.” My cheeks burn as I admit that. He knows what I do just to get a sandwich.
“How about some more soup and grilled cheese again”
I’m nodding before he even finishes. “That was the best thing I’ve ever tasted.”
“Robin, have you seen the big bag of crisps, the multipack ones?” Saint asks with a grumble in his voice.
Saint came to live here not too long after me.
He’s older, sixteen, and had a shit time at his dad’s.
He had a lot of bruises when he got here and was timid, even though he’s much bigger than me.
I still, stopping in my tracks when I hear him.
I know exactly where the crisps are—in a carrier bag under my bed.
I don’t think it’s stealing if the stuff hasn’t left the house yet.
There’s a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter there too.
Like just in case there’s an emergency, and I need to leave quickly, I won’t be hungry, not straight away.
I don’t think anyone has noticed me standing in the doorway, until Robin gives me a wink.
Oh god, he knows. Why hasn’t he called me out on it or taken it away.
“I have no idea, Saint. The house is full of hollow-legged boys that attack the larder like a pack of locusts.”
Saint doesn’t even look offended and just laughs. “You love us,” he says confidently, knowing he speaks the truth.
“I do, and it’s a good job too. You’ll have to look for something else to eat.” Robin turns to me. “Kip wants to know if you want to go to the gym. He says it’s about time you showed your face,” he says to me. “Saint, you can introduce him to the youth group too.”
Saint looks at me and grins. “Yeah, come with me tonight.”
I look at Robin and see his smile, so even though I have no idea what to do in a gym, I agree. I’ve been putting it off, saying no every time I’m asked. I’m ashamed of how scrawny I am—and add short to the list. “Okay, but I’ve never seen a gym before, let alone been inside.”
“It was like that for me too,” Drake says. “Too scared to touch anything, but I love the 5-a-side football, and I’m learning kick boxing. I’m not very good at it yet, but everyone is really kind and encouraging.”
I think that’s the most I’ve heard from Drake. He’s a bit bookish and likes to read. He even brings them to the table, but Robin asks him to put them down.
Robin looks at me. “I think it’s time to get you into school, Knox. You’ll be in the same year as Drake, and I’m going to ask the head to put you in the same class he is.”
I’ve been having a tutor here a few hours a week; it was Robin’s idea to let me start learning again without the worry of not knowing anything or being too afraid to answer any questions in class and with the other kids.
It’s helped, too, and I don’t feel like I’m dumb.
I know I’ll still have masses of catching up to do.
It’s the kids that scare me the most. It’s normal to ask loads of questions, especially to a kid that’s a bit different than them.
“That would be so cool, Knox. It’s so much better than my last school. You can hang out with me and my friends. Saint’s there, too, but he thinks he too cool to talk to me.” Drake laughs and elbows Saint in the ribs.
“Watch it, squirt.” Saint grabs Drake and starts to tickle him.
An hour later, I walk into the gym with Kip. Saint and Drake have rushed down to the locker room to get changed. With his hand on my shoulder, Kip gives it a squeeze. “What do you think?”
I look around and breathe in the scent of sweat and soap.
The machines are full of men covered in tattoos and muscles.
There are people on the treadmills running like someone’s chasing them, clangs of weights on the machines that look like they’ve come out of some kind of medieval torture chamber.
But I love it, something inside me lights up a flame that’s brighter than anything I’ve ever felt before. “It’s incredible.”
“Do you want to play footie with the others, or shall I give you a tour?” There’s pride in Kip’s voice, and I understand why. It’s amazing.
We walk around the whole building. I peek into yoga classes where men and women are contorting their bodies into the weirdest positions and into fitness classes, like aerobics, but Kip calls it something else. I think it’s a hit classes, but I don’t know what is.
When we get back to the main gym, I can’t stop looking at the huge, strong men. “I want to be like them,” I say quietly, mostly to myself.
Kip hears me and smiles. “I can do that for you. You need to be stronger, healthier than you are now, but you’re in luck, because this is something I know all about.”
“Thank you,” I say as I look up at the man who’s as big as the strongest man here.
I hope he knows it’s for more than teaching me to be strong and powerful. No one is ever going to push me around again.