Chapter 7
Chapter Seven
Gage
I awoke slowly for the first time in more than a month.
From the moment my brain came back online, I was aware of where I was and who was wrapped around me. I felt stronger this morning, more complete. The exact opposite of every morning since that fateful day.
“You awake?”
I shifted, answering Travis without words.
Warm lips caressed the back of my neck, and my body came alive.
I had missed this. The intimacy, the connection.
Sure, we’d been fucking like rabbits for days on end, but it had been a distraction, not a mating.
I had used him as an escape, desperately trying to get through one more minute of one more day, to convince myself that my entire world wasn’t shattering because we’d lost the woman we both loved.
I felt different this morning. Not altogether whole because I knew I would never be that way again, but I was definitely on the path to mending. Or moving in the direction of it, at least.
I was aware of Travis moving, rolling away from me, then back.
I didn’t have to open my eyes to know what he was doing.
We’d spent numerous mornings just like this, coming awake together, seeking pleasure to start the day.
Sometimes with Kylie, sometimes when she had taken a turn with the kids in the morning.
“I need to be inside you,” Travis whispered in my ear, his body moving up tight behind me.
I pressed back against the big, warm body that was so familiar, so comforting.
When Travis reached down, I moved higher on the bed, adjusting our positions so he could lift my leg and slide his cock along the crack of my ass. I didn’t have to do more than that because Travis took control, sinking inside me in one slick, controlled move, filling me completely.
I felt the weight of him at my back as he pumped his hips, slow, gentle, bringing us both awake fully, together, as one.
But as was the case whenever we came together like this, our bodies knew what we needed, and slow and gentle ceased to exist as lust and passion took over.
With Travis behind me, his hard, hot body, and those desperate grunts, I blanked my mind and let the pleasure consume me.
For the first time in weeks, I felt … hope.
I would take it.
If only for a little while.
Many hours later, after we’d kicked the day into high gear, getting the kids moving, feeding them, then cleaning up the mess we’d created during the week, my thoughts drifted to that letter.
The one Travis had in the top drawer of his desk.
After I'd learned about it, I had pulled it out a couple of times. Never opening it because I hadn’t been ready for that, but today I was.
“You look like you’re lost in thought.”
I turned to see Travis standing in the doorway, shoulder pressed to the doorjamb. I put up the coffee mug I'd just pulled out of the dishwasher.
“You still wanna read the letter?” I asked, not looking at him.
“I do.”
There was so much conviction in his tone that I had to look over at him.
“I asked my parents to come pick up the kids,” Travis continued. “Told ’em we needed some time to ourselves, but we’d be there for dinner.”
Time to ourselves? I had forgotten what that even meant.
“Pop’ll be here in half an hour. We’ll get them off, and then we’ll read it.”
I nodded, reaching back into the dishwasher to pull out another clean cup. “Okay.”
Half an hour.
Funny how thirty minutes could feel like thirty years.
By the time we helped Curtis get the kids loaded up and off down the road, a full hour had gone by. But even additional time hadn’t eased my anxiety a single bit.
“We can do this,” Travis said, his tone once again reassuring, stronger than it had been in a while.
I looked at him, wondering if I was imagining it or if we really had made progress last night.
When Travis took my hand and tugged, I had no choice but to follow. Into the living room, sitting on the couch. My mind blanked as he took a seat beside me. And then there we were, shoulder to shoulder, the sealed envelope in Travis’s hand.
We stared at it for the longest time. I traced the gentle sweep of Kylie’s handwriting with my eyes over and over again.
“We both know it’s not gonna get any easier the longer we wait,” Travis said, his voice gruff.
No, it wouldn’t.
Shoring up my nerves, I took the envelope from Travis’s hand and slid my finger under the flap, tearing it open.
He pulled a single sheet of white paper from inside. For another brief moment, we stared at it until, finally, Travis unfolded it.
My chest hitched when I saw a page full of words written in that same lovely handwriting.
Knowing I couldn’t put it off any longer, I started reading.
Dear Travis and Gage,
If you’re reading this, it means I’m no longer of this earth, and I have to hope it’s after we’ve lived a long, happy life together.
After my babies have grown up, graduated high school, college, gotten married.
But if for some reason it’s not, then you should know that every second I had with the two of you and the five of them made for a life more complete than I ever thought possible.
If there was some unfortunate event that took me from this world, then there are some things I need you to do for me.
Things that might be difficult because, if nothing else, I know exactly who my men are.
I know how you both think; I know how you both love.
And I know without a doubt that the two of you will retreat because you think it will benefit the other in some way.
First of all, that’s complete nonsense and you should move forward remembering that every single day.
While I have never doubted for a single second how much I am loved by both of you, I also know how much you love each other.
If I have a say in the matter, Travis, you won’t be stubborn, and Gage, you won’t let him be.
You will both suck it up and move forward, hand in hand, where you belong.
Provided these still make sense, here are the things I need you to do for me:
● Take my wedding band and my engagement band and have them melted down, along with both of yours.
But don’t worry, I don’t want you to be without them for long.
From those, have new bands made, one for each of you.
That way, you will both have a part of me with you forever.
After all, the three of us are stronger together, even if we aren’t all there.
● Now for the diamonds. They don’t melt, so I would like you to take the diamonds in my rings and make them into necklaces for our daughters. One for Kate, one for Avery. I want them to have a little part of me with them always. You can give them to them whenever you feel is the right time.
● For Kade, Haden, and Maddox, I’ve set aside some things that belonged to my father, things he has given me over the years.
There’s an old compass that belonged to his grandfather.
One of them might like that. There’s also the toolbox my Dad gave me when I first moved out on my own.
Nothing fancy, but I know Kade has enjoyed helping me with projects.
Also, the miniature airplane collection.
I’ll let them or you decide who gets what. Hopefully, there won’t be any fighting.
● As a family, I would like y’all to plant a tree for me.
More than one, preferably. Yes, even now, I want to help the environment.
Hopefully, if this time ever comes, the kids’ll be old enough to select one they know I would’ve liked.
I leave it to both of you to decide where.
But if you’re having a hard time, I think a magnolia tree would look lovely in Curtis and Lorrie’s front yard.
● And last but not least, I want the two of you to get married. It’s what I’ve always wanted, although it was never an option. We did things our way, the three of us, but now it’s time for the two of you to move forward. Together.
I hope you both know that I love you with my whole heart.
I am truly blessed to call you both husband.
Sure, it might mean that I’ve had to complain about two pairs of socks on the floor or ask twice before someone agrees to take the trash out, but in return, I’ve received twice as much love as most women get.
I wouldn’t trade our life for the world, and no matter what happens or when, you should both know that I’ve had the best life anyone could be lucky enough to have.
Love always and forever,
Kylie
Travis
I read the letter three times. Each time, more tears streamed down my face as I heard the lovely cadence of Kylie’s voice in my head.
Beside me, I heard Gage’s breathing change, knew he was also dealing with the overwhelming emotions that came along with reading her words, knowing we would never see her again and that she had prepared for that.
I should’ve expected this. Should’ve known that our wife would think ahead, help us deal with the worst possible scenario. That was who Kylie was. Thoughtful, generous, selfless, but most importantly, she’d loved us with her whole heart.
When Gage sobbed, I lowered the letter and turned, pulling him into my arms. We sat like that for the longest time, holding one another, protecting one another as the emotions won out.
And when my eyes dried, I read through the letter one more time, focusing on the things Kylie wished for us to do.
“We can let the kids plant the trees next weekend,” I said aloud, my voice hitching with emotion.
Gage nodded, his hand sliding into mine. “Okay.”
“And the rings…?” I wasn’t sure what to think about that.
He turned his head. “I’d like to do that part if it’s all right?”
“Sure. I’ll get the stones put into settings for the girls.”
It seemed so simple. Speaking it, at least. I wasn’t sure how easy it would be for Gage to hand over Kylie’s wedding bands, knowing they would be melted down. That seemed like the most difficult part, although I understood her reasoning.
“We should have Jessie go through her stuff, too,” Gage suggested. “See if there’s anything she wants. Joe, too.”
“Yep,” I agreed, nodding because I didn’t know what else to do.
Then we were silent again, minutes ticking by.
“She loved us,” Gage finally whispered.
“With all that she was.”
And we had loved her the same.