Chapter 41
Chapter Forty-One
Kylie
Nine days.
That was all the time I’d had to get familiar with this new phase of my existence. It wasn’t even enough time to adjust to the difference in my kids, the house, their life without me, much less to wrap my head around everything else that was going on.
Not only what I’d learned about Cicily Rose—my half-sister—but also my mother and the role she had played in my kidnapping.
I guess I should say the role her existence played because she wasn’t responsible.
I knew that. It wasn’t her fault Martin had kidnapped and imprisoned me in an effort to draw her out.
His rationale had been flawed from the jump because my mother hadn’t cared enough to stick around, so why the hell would she give a shit that I died?
Although I’d spent about half an hour in her company that day at Brantley and Reese’s, I hadn’t talked to her.
Standing there, listening to them talk about the nightmare I’d lived, I had stared at Meredith, wondering why she couldn’t be bothered to come to my funeral.
Of course, knowing she hadn’t hurt in ways I wasn’t ready to acknowledge.
What made it doubly worse was that, based on what I’d learned during that brief time, she had been aware of my death. Aware, and she still didn’t care.
Now, as I stood beneath the spray in Travis and Gage’s bathroom—it still didn’t feel like I belonged there—I tried to clear my head.
I was tired of obsessing over everything.
Exhausted from picking apart every reaction, every look from my children, trying to figure out what they were thinking about the stranger in their house.
And sadly, I was definitely a stranger to them.
I could see it when they looked at me. They had questions, even if they had no idea how to voice them.
In a way, it was good that they weren’t asking because I wasn’t sure I had answers.
Once the clean routine was completed, I got out and dried off before pulling on the T-shirt Gage had set out for me. Although I now had clothes thanks to Travis’s many purchases and Gage’s inability to toss out my belongings, I preferred to sleep in their T-shirts as I had back before…
I wondered whether I would ever stop splitting my existence into the before and after.
At some point, surely I would find my footing and fit back into the life I’d missed for so long.
I had to because I couldn’t keep going like this.
Couldn’t keep tiptoeing around like I was a guest. And that was what I felt like. A guest.
Rather than go downstairs and interrupt their nightly routine, I crawled into the big bed that I once again shared with Travis and Gage.
That part of it felt normal. At least once the lights were off.
While they didn’t touch me the way they used to, didn’t seek pleasure from me as they had in the past, there was a familiarity to our sleeping pattern.
Mostly. Back then, I rarely went to bed before them.
Now, that was my only option because they seemed to want to give me space.
Curling up beneath the blankets, I rested my head on the pillow and stared at the bedroom door, wishing one or both of them would come in here, climb into this big, empty bed with me, and hold me until I fell asleep.
While I was still adjusting to being in the company of so many people, I was comfortable with them in that regard.
They had always made me feel safe. They still did.
But I wasn’t about to ask them to do that. I figured my mere presence was enough of a disruption. No sense in making it awkward.
I must’ve fallen asleep because I woke up as I rolled over, attempting to get comfortable. But there were no warm bodies in the bed to snuggle up to, no safety and security to be found in the form of Travis or Gage.
The clock on Travis’s nightstand read 11:47 p.m., which meant I’d slept for a couple of hours.
Curious as to why neither of them had joined me, I climbed out of bed to find out.
I took a brief detour in the bathroom, then down the hall, noticing all the bedroom doors were closed.
Now wanting to open them and risk waking a kid, I made my way downstairs.
The house was dark, with the exception of a few nightlights plugged into outlets that illuminated my path.
I stopped by the kitchen first, but found it empty.
The same was the case with the living room, the television off.
I went to Travis’s office next, but the door was locked, and there was no light bleeding through the blinds covering the French doors.
Hmm.
I stood in the foyer. Perhaps I’d missed them upstairs.
More than once, Gage had fallen asleep in the rocking chair in Maddox’s room as he was waiting for him to settle.
And I’d found Travis sprawled out on the floor of Avery’s room when she claimed she couldn’t sleep. They could very well be passed out—
A soft sound coming from the direction of the guest room caught my attention.
I made my way to the door under the stairs, listening intently for more noises.
Well, I found them. Now the question was: did I interrupt or head upstairs and pretend I never woke up?
As I stood at the door, I could hear them talking, their voices soft and deep. What were they talking about? Me? Maybe they were chatting about how weird it was that I was back in their house after all this time? Or how I’d come along and disrupted their new normal?
My belly churned, not for the first time since I’d been at the house. While they were doing their best to treat me as though I was welcome, I couldn’t help but think I was disrupting their lives. And finding them here, hiding out in this room … that was proof.
I considered making my way upstairs, crawling into bed, and waiting for them to eventually come up there. But what if they didn’t want to? What if they preferred to sleep together? Without me?
I should’ve considered that before making myself comfortable in their bed. Maybe I should be the one sleeping down here in the guest room. They could share the big bed upstairs.
Swallowing, I rested my hand on the doorknob. I didn’t want to interrupt, but I knew they would be more comfortable upstairs.
There was a pause in the conversation.
Assuming they were going to sleep, I turned the knob and gently opened the door, peeking inside.
I swallowed a gasp when I saw Travis’s big body looming over Gage, his muscled arms propping him up, the smooth slope of his back erotically charged as the muscles bunched and rippled with every flex of his hips.
They definitely weren’t going to sleep.
“I want her with us,” Travis growled softly as he thrust his hips, his cock tunneling inside Gage.
A soft grunt was Gage’s response.
“I ache for her,” Travis mumbled. “I’ve missed her so fuckin’ much.”
He was talking about me while he was making love to Gage, and there was something intoxicating that came with that realization. It wasn’t enough to have me opening the door to join them, but it did help alleviate some of the doubt that had plagued me through the week.
Because I was intruding on their private moment, I gently closed the door, careful not to make a sound, before hurrying up the stairs and crawling back in bed.
As I lay there, attempting to sleep, my thoughts were filled with images of them together.
I had missed that so much. Missed being with them like that.
I wasn’t sure I was supposed to want that intimacy this soon after coming home, but I did. I longed for it, in fact.
Anything that might help me settle the rough waters in this sea of chaos.
Gage
“She saw us,” I whispered into the darkness.
Travis abruptly stopped moving. “When?”
“Just now.” I shifted my hips, attempting to get him to move again.
“Are you sure?”
“Mmm hmm.” I grunted. “Fuck me, Trav. Now.”
“Was she in here?”
“At the door.” I groaned, desperate for him to continue.
I wasn’t ready for this to be over. It had been a week since I’d felt this man inside me. I hated that we were sneaking around, but I couldn’t wait any longer. Now that we were here, I needed my husband to finish what I started.
“Please, Trav,” I whispered, letting him hear the plea in my tone.
A soft growl rumbled in Travis’s chest before he abruptly pulled out of me.
Before I could beg more, he manhandled me, flipping me over.
I went willingly, settling on my knees and thrusting my ass backward, inviting him to continue.
He didn’t waste time, his cock sliding in deep.
He began moving again, his hips rolling forward, easing back.
He filled me so perfectly. It was exquisite torture, something I’d missed this past week.
Travis slowed. “Do you think she’s upset?”
“Finish fuckin’ me, and we’ll go find out.”
A soft chuckle sounded before he began to move, this time in earnest.
I clutched the sheet in my fists as Travis drove into me deep, hard.
For the next few minutes, we were lost in the sensations, overcome by the pleasure.
With my eyes closed, I could see Kylie standing there, peeking through the crack in the door.
I imagined her coming into the room, joining us.
God, I wanted that more than anything. I wanted to feel her wrapped around me again.
I longed to become one with her. I thought about it often, but no matter what erotic image took up residence in my head, I reminded myself that she was healing from her trauma and it would take time.
She wasn’t physically ready for what we once had.
Probably not emotionally either. I had to be patient.
But not with Travis.
“Fuck,” I hissed, reaching beneath me to fist my cock.
“That’s it, baby,” Travis growled, his deep baritone rough in my ear. “Come for me so I can come in this tight fuckin’ ass.”
This man. Fuck. He always knew just what to say, just how to say it, to skyrocket me right to that inevitable space between bliss and euphoria. And I was there, hovering on the brink, clinging to the pleasure for a few more seconds.
“Come for me, Gage,” Travis growled roughly, his hand curling over mine, our fingers entwined.
That did it.
“Fuck yes,” I groaned, squeezing his fingers in a silent plea for him to come with me.
And he did.
Ten minutes later, after a quick clean-up, I followed Travis into our bedroom.
Kylie was in the middle of the bed, curled up on her side, eyes closed.
I wasn’t sure if she was asleep or merely pretending, but I did my best not to disrupt her as I crawled in behind her.
When I put my arm over her hip, spooning against her back, she relaxed into me.
That simple move made my heart swell, the love I felt for this woman growing tenfold, though I didn’t think it was possible to love her more than I already did.
“You okay?” I asked, pressing my lips to her hair.
“Fine.”
The clipped tone didn’t match her relaxed state, but I tried not to read anything into it. I knew she had seen us downstairs, but I wasn’t sure it was a topic she wanted to discuss.
A few minutes later, after Travis had gotten comfortable, I realized it was something Kylie intended to address when she sighed heavily and cleared her throat.
I waited for what came next.
“It might be easier if I sleep in the guest room.”
I fought the urge to pull away, fearful that if I did, she wouldn’t let me hold her anymore. I glanced over her at Travis, who was on his back, staring up at the ceiling. I waited for him to respond, to address her asinine comment. It took a moment, but he finally did.
“Why would you say that?”
“That way y’all don’t have to sneak downstairs to have sex.”
Travis turned his head, his eyes meeting mine briefly before he turned his attention to Kylie. “You were asleep.”
I felt her tense. “That never would’ve stopped you … before.”
And now everyone tensed.
Travis turned fully, facing Kylie. “But it’s not … before.”
“No, it’s not,” she said on a rough exhale.
I inched in closer, holding her tighter, wanting her to know we were there for her.
I wasn’t sure what to say, or whether saying anything would help matters.
I’d picked up on her discomfort the past couple of days.
It was weird for all of us, but this was merely an adjustment period.
It would take time for things to get back to normal. Whatever that looked like.
“Do you want it to be?” Travis prompted. “To go back to the way it was before?”
Silence filled the space for a minute, maybe two, before Kylie finally answered.
“I want to stop feelin’ like I’m a stranger in your house.”
“First of all, it’s our house,” I inserted. “It’s always been our house.”
“Not so much when you disposed of my things,” she said, her tone biting.
She had a point there. One that no one could argue, even if we all knew the reason why. We had thought she was dead. And we’d dealt with that in the only way we knew how. It had taken time, a lot of time, for us to accept that she was gone.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “Ignore me. I’m bein’ stupid. I know it. Deep down, I know it. But…”
I waited for her to finish, but she didn’t.
Because I understood her frustration to a degree, I simply held her, and when Travis moved closer, his arm sliding beneath her head, we cocooned her between us as we had so many times before.
And for the first time in a long time, a sense of peace washed over me.
Normal was a good way off, but we would get there. I had faith.