Chapter 47
Chapter Forty-Seven
Kylie
“I can’t quite pinpoint what it is, but you look different this morning, Kylie.”
I smiled at Dr. Briggs. “I can tell you it has nothin’ to do with my makeup.”
“You’re right. It’s more profound than that.”
For whatever reason, that made me feel good. “Thank you.”
“So? Do you care to share what’s put that beaming smile on your face?”
I shifted on the couch, getting more comfortable. “Well, for starters, I had a panic attack last night.”
Dr. Briggs’s eyebrows rose slowly. “Do you know what triggered it?”
“My daughter.” I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “Kate and I were handin’ out candy while Travis and Gage took the others trick or treating. I had to go to the bathroom so I left her on the porch. It was only for a few minutes at the very most. When I came back, she wasn’t there.”
“And your mind immediately went into panic mode.”
“I thought someone took her.”
“Someone?”
“Martin. I thought Martin Calloway had stolen my daughter from me.”
“I can only assume, since you’re here and you were smiling, that she wasn’t taken.”
“No, she wasn’t. Thank God.”
“That looks like real relief on your face.”
“It is. Even thinkin’ about it causes me stress.”
“Which is natural. Those aren’t imagined fears. You have real reasons to worry because of what happened to you and to Kate in the past.”
“I know.”
“It’s okay to worry. And it’s even okay to panic. The trigger was tangible. It doesn’t lessen what you went through, but it does explain why it happened. When did you realize she was safe?”
“Travis came in the house. They’d just come back and saw Kate chasin’ Houdini.”
Dr. Briggs’s eyebrows rose again. “And who might Houdini be?”
“The cat. Kate feeds her, so she comes around.”
“And what did Travis say when he found you having a panic attack?”
“He reassured me that Kate was safe and that I was safe.”
“How did that make you feel?”
I stared at her, processing the question, then replied with the first thing that came to mind. “Safe.”
“You sound surprised by that.”
“I was. Not so much now, but in that moment, I was. It was right then that I realized Travis was still the same man I trusted with my whole heart. And I realized that he hadn’t changed in the time I was gone. He is still Travis and I am safe with him.”
“That’s a profound revelation. Considering what we’ve discussed up to this point.”
“It is,” I admitted. I sat up straighter. “I decided right then that it was time for me to start movin’ forward and not lookin’ back.”
She smiled, the move crinkling the skin around her eyes. “And how is that going?”
“I know I’ve got a long way to go before I feel like I belong, but I can trust myself again.”
“You didn’t trust yourself before?”
I shook my head. “Not completely.”
“In what way?”
“I think…” I wasn’t sure how to phrase what I was trying to say.
“Comin’ home is all I wanted from the moment I woke up in that hospital bed.
I wanted to get back to my family. It wasn’t until the end, right before Kieran saved me, that I even considered that things would’ve been different.
In my mind, I had imagined a big homecoming, my kids racing to hug me. ”
“But that didn’t happen.”
“No. And I’m glad. The homecomin’ part, I mean.
I do wish my kids had raced to hug me, but I can look at them now and understand their trepidation.
I left them. In their eyes, I mean. They said goodbye and they probably realized everyone was sad at the time.
But for me to come back, I’m sure that was very confusin’ for them.
Especially since”—I gestured toward my body—“I don’t look anything like I did before. ”
“And you’ve accepted this?”
I nodded. “I have. It wasn’t my fault that I was taken.
And it wasn’t my fault that Martin kept me chained up away from my family.
But it’s my responsibility as much as theirs to put forth the effort to make a home for myself again.
I can’t sit back and expect them to upend their lives because suddenly I’m there.
I have to find my place in their world again. ”
“And you want to do that?”
“More than anything,” I admitted, and realized as I said it how true it was.
Rather than go home after my appointment with Dr. Briggs, I chose to walk over to the park.
I wasn’t eager to be alone inside the walls of the house.
Then again, these days, being inside wasn’t easy.
I hadn’t yet discussed that particular topic with Dr. Briggs because I didn’t need her to psychoanalyze my reasons for wanting fresh air and wide open spaces. The reason was more than obvious.
Speaking of obvious…
Thanks to my chats with Archer, I was now aware of the two people—one man, one woman—who were tasked with keeping an eye on me.
They worked for Sniper 1 Security, and their sole responsibility was to keep an eye on me.
More specifically, to ensure Martin Calloway or his goons weren’t nearby, waiting to snatch me up.
Or worse. While I didn’t like that it was necessary, I felt better knowing they were there.
More so because Archer and I had become friends and I trusted his judgment.
He’d given me no reason not to. And since he had vouched for them, I was willing to let them keep an eye out. After all, what could it hurt?
I found an empty bench along the path and eased down onto it.
As I expected, the park wasn’t busy on a Tuesday afternoon in the middle of November.
The kids were in school, likely anticipating the upcoming Thanksgiving break.
Their parents were probably working. And when they weren’t, they were jotting down all the things that were necessary to ensure the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday went off without a hitch.
Despite my recent revelation and my new outlook, I wasn’t looking forward to Thanksgiving this year. Although I had plenty to be thankful for. And I did mean plenty. I was home, and at the moment, that was more than enough.
“Kylie!”
I turned at the sound of my name, fear trickling into my bloodstream.
It was an automatic response, not something I could control.
For at least two seconds, my world began to crash in on me, but then it went back to normal, resuming as though nothing had happened.
At some later time, I would likely find it amusing that one of the Sniper 1 Security people moved to intercept, quashing my fight-or-flight instinct instantly.
But the best part was when they were intercepted by Archer, who was waving them off, his attention darting between them and me.
Evidently, he didn’t think my mother was out to hurt me.
I didn’t think so either, but that didn’t mean I was happy to see her.
Shifting my attention, my gaze followed Meredith as she moved toward me at a fast clip, her hair blowing in the cool breeze.
I stared at the woman who’d given me life, not at all surprised that my receding fear quickly morphed into anger.
“Thank God I found you,” she said, out of breath.
Frowning, I waited for her to continue because I had no idea what to say to this woman.
She was the reason Martin had taken me. Or part of it, anyway.
It wasn’t necessarily her fault, but there was no denying she was the reason.
Not for the first time, I wondered whether things would’ve been different if Meredith had come to my funeral.
Would Martin have let me go if he’d gotten his greedy paws on her?
Would she have traded herself for my freedom?
Seriously doubtful, on both counts.
“How are you?” Meredith asked. “You look good.”
I stared up at her, my ire rising. “Do I?”
“Yes, of course.”
I glared at my mother and gave my anger some freedom.
“Do you know that I nearly starved to death? Do you know that my doctor breathes a sigh of relief each time she sees I’ve gained another pound?
Or that I can almost walk up the stairs without needing to sit down and take a break?
Or that I can’t carry my own children anymore?
Not just because they grew up while I was in a shit hole, but because I don’t have the strength since I was chained to the fuckin’ floor and starved for two months? But you want to tell me I look good?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“The hell you didn’t.”
“He’s got my daughter,” Meredith said on a harsh breath.
I stood up, wishing I could’ve launched to my feet, but despite being physically better, I still had significant limitations. And storming off wasn’t in the cards.
“I’m sorry for that, Meredith. I truly am. I know firsthand what she’s goin’ through.”
“Then do something about it,” she hissed.
“What would you propose I do? Huh? Would you like me to call him up and offer a trade?”
Meredith stared at me, and it was then that an immense hatred flooded my bloodstream.
“Oh my God.” I exhaled roughly. “You would trade me for her in a heartbeat, wouldn’t?”
“She’s a child,” Meredith countered.
I clamped my jaw closed before I launched a tirade.
“Help her, Kylie. You have to help her.”
“How do you propose I do that?” I repeated.
“You have to know where he’s keeping her. You were with him for almost two years.”
My eyebrows launched into my hairline. “Seriously? Did you think I was buddy-buddy with the guy who kidnapped me and chained me to the fuckin’ floor?
” I inhaled deeply, let it out in a rush.
My attempt to regain my composure and rein in my fury left me feeling lightheaded.
I managed to remain on my feet, but I wasn’t sure how.
“Tell Brantley where to find him,” Meredith stated.
“Try his house, Mother.” The words came out moderately calmer. “Or his job. They seem like the logical places. And yes, Brantley and his team know where all of those places are. They’ve done their due diligence. They’ve even searched the shit hole house I was in.”