Chapter 47 #2
I didn’t tell her that I knew all of this because Archer and I had become friends. We didn’t spend much time talking about what happened to me or what progress they’d made in the case, but the subject did come up from time to time.
“That’s not good enough,” Meredith seethed.
“Yeah, well. I guess turnabout is fair play.”
She slammed her hands onto her hips. “What does that mean?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe I learned how to disappoint people by watchin’ you.”
Her eyes narrowed. “You didn’t want for a damn thing growing up, Kylie. Don’t pretend you were abused. You have no idea what it means to be disappointed by someone.”
Fearful of what I might do if I had to listen to another word from this woman’s mouth, I turned to leave. I made it a few steps before Meredith called my name again.
“She doesn’t deserve this.”
I slowly turned to face her. “And I did?”
I wasn’t sure what I expected her to say, but the expression on her face was one that I would never forget. Given the option, there was no doubt in my mind that my mother would trade me for the daughter she didn’t even raise herself.
And that hurt almost as much as being chained to the floor and starved for two fucking months.
Travis
“I’m headin’ out early,” I told Gage when I stepped into his office.
He looked up from his computer, surprise and confusion etched on his handsome face. “Somethin’ wrong?”
“No. I just wanna check on Kylie.”
“She went to see Dr. Briggs today.”
“I know.” She had told me that morning that she wanted to talk to Dr. Briggs about the panic attack she’d had last night.
“You want me to come with you?”
I met my husband’s stare. “That’s up to you.” And it was. Yes, I was looking forward to some time alone with Kylie. We hadn’t had much since she came home, and I wanted to talk to her, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t welcome Gage’s presence.
“I’m gonna stay. I can catch a ride with someone, I’m sure.”
“I’ll take one of the cars,” I told him, referring to the small fleet we used to escort people to and from the airport when needed.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I know. But I want to.” I walked over to him, leaned down, and kissed him. “We’ll see you when you get home.”
Gage nodded. It was obvious he had questions. I was grateful he didn’t voice them, because I had no answers. I didn’t know what I expected to talk to Kylie about, but something was telling me to go home and make the effort. Rarely did I ignore my instincts and I wasn’t going to start now.
Half an hour later, I was walking into the house.
“Kylie?”
“In the kitchen,” she called back.
I dropped my keys into the bowl by the door and followed the sound of her voice. I found her sitting on one of the stools at the island, a glass of water in front of her. She was clutching it as though it was keeping her upright.
“Hey.”
She lifted her head and forced a smile.
“What’s wrong? Somethin’ happen with Dr. Briggs?”
Kylie sighed, sitting up straight. She took a deep breath and let it out. “No. I ran into my mother in the park.”
I almost asked what she was doing in the park but held the words back.
That wasn’t something I would’ve asked my wife before, and I was trying to remember that when I spoke to her.
This woman had been imprisoned for long enough.
The last thing she needed was for me to micromanage her every move.
And I knew myself well enough that it was something I would do.
Granted, if it weren’t for the Sniper 1 Security agents keeping an eye on her, I probably would’ve caved.
Before I could ask how that went, Kylie started talking. I kept my attention on her as I leaned against the counter near the sink, not wanting to interrupt.
“I can’t believe the gall of that woman. She wants to trade me for Cicily Rose.”
Fury, hot and bright, erupted under my skin. It flowed like magma in my veins. “What?”
Kylie waved me off. “It’s not an option, but she all but said she would trade me.”
“What else did she say?” I asked, proud of how level I kept my tone.
“Basically, that I wasn’t doin’ enough to find her daughter.”
“Does she know you’ve been talkin’ to Archer?” Well, shit. I did not mean to say that.
Kylie’s expression shifted from infuriation to … was that amusement?
“So you do know he’s been comin’ by.”
It wasn’t a question, but I felt compelled to answer. “Yes?”
She laughed. “Was that a question or a statement, Travis?”
“Yes,” I repeated, unable to hide the smile.
“Why haven’t y’all said anything?” she asked, gesturing toward the camera mounted in the corner. “I know there are cameras.”
Yes, there were several. They were only pointed at the doors, and we only installed them for security purposes, but they were there nonetheless.
“We figured you would tell us when you were ready.”
“He’s a friend.” She held my gaze. “We hardly ever talk about what happened or the case, and I think that’s why I like him. He doesn’t know who I was before and I don’t feel like he’s trackin’ all the differences between then and now.”
“He seems like a good guy,” I told her.
“Have you ever talked to him? I mean, on a personal level?”
“No. Not really,” I admitted. “But I know enough.”
Kylie stared up at me for a moment before she spoke. “I feel guilty.”
I did not like the sound of that.
I frowned. “About?”
“Cicily Rose. About how I’m not involved in the investigation. Not really. I’ve asked Archer if they’ve figured out where she is, but past that…”
“You know that’s their top priority, Kylie.”
“So you’ve talked to Brantley?”
“Yes. I check in with him every couple of days to see how things are goin’.”
“I just feel like I could be doin’ more. And maybe that’s why my mother made me so angry today.”
“There isn’t anything you can do that they aren’t already doin’.”
“Probably not. But that doesn’t mean I don’t feel like I could do more.”
I understood because I was going through something similar. It had nothing to do with finding Meredith’s daughter. I wished that girl no harm, and I’d even dropped a few prayers, asking God to bring her home safely, but I spent most of my mental fortitude worrying about my wife.
Who wasn’t my wife in the eyes of the law, but she would always be in my heart.
As though she just realized what time it was, Kylie frowned. “What’re you doin’ home so early?”
“I wanted to check on you.”
She stared and I could see the concern in her pretty blue eyes. “Because I freaked out last night?”
I considered lying to her, but figured it wasn’t a good use of anyone’s time. “Yes. And because I’ve been thinkin’ about you all day.”
We stood there like that, staring at one another.
I wanted to ask her to tell me what happened, to share that horror so I could carry some of her burden, but I refrained.
Kylie wasn’t the only person seeing a shrink.
I’d had standing appointments with Dr. Briggs since shortly after we buried what I thought was my wife in that casket.
Back then, Dr. Briggs and I discussed coping with the loss and ways I could stop alienating my family.
These days, we discussed coping with her return and finding ways to make her feel safe when it was clear she didn’t.
I would continue to have those conversations, but until Kylie told us what happened, until she shared that part of her life, I couldn’t completely understand what she went through.
Oh, I had some idea. I had eyes, after all.
But she was healing on a physical level.
What I wanted was to help her emotionally.
And right now, the only way I knew to do that was to show her that we were here without overwhelming her.
In order to do that successfully, I had to give my wife space. And that was becoming more difficult with every passing day since the only thing I wanted to do was hold her, to touch her, to kiss her, to connect with her on that level only the three of us had ever shared.
Unfortunately, we didn’t appear to be making much progress in getting closer.
Not yet.
But we would.
I had faith after all.