Chapter 5
Five
Sabina
I bolt upright, heart racing, skin damp with sweat. Early dawn drenches the room in gray light. Someone is breathing next to me and when I see Caiden passed out in his clothes, my shoulders sag in disappointment.
Of course it’s him next to me. Brevan doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore. He’s not going to risk his sister for a tumble, and I wouldn’t risk Anya. We both know how stupid that would be.
I’m still in my wedding dress, but I don’t remember getting into bed. I must have given up waiting for someone to help me out of it. Or maybe Caiden thought I’d let him remove it.
I shudder with revulsion then rise. Being in the same bed is too close. I can’t do it. How am I supposed to pretend alongside him when I can’t stand being near him?
When I look back at the sleeping emperor, he looks peaceful in his rumpled clothes. His hair falls over his eyes, and his chest rises and falls slowly.
I feel in the folds of my dress for the pocket. It would be so easy to end him right now. To stab him and watch the blood pour from him, to see his face grow pale, his body succumbing to death’s embrace.
My pocket is empty. I check the other one. It’s also empty.
Pulse rising, I look around the room. Where did they go? I had the blades from Brevan in my pockets. How did I lose them? They can’t have gone far.
I look by the couch and under the bed. In the dim light, I can’t see very well so I reach, feeling around in the hopes that I’ll find something. They’re not there. Where did they go?
“Looking for something?”
Startled, I move too quickly and knock my head on the bed. “Fuck.” Grumbling, I scoot backward, then rub my head as I glare at Caiden. “Where are they?”
“I can’t very well have you stabbing me in my sleep, can I? Especially not on our wedding night. What would people say?” Caiden looks so alert that I wonder if he was faking sleep the whole time.
“You were out late,” I accuse.
“If I’d known you were waiting for me, I’d have come sooner.”
“You know I wasn’t.” I sit back on my knees, not wanting to go any closer to him.
“Then you have no business worrying about my time of arrival.”
“Other than the fact that you want us to play the roles in this farce of a marriage.”
He leaves the bed, then walks over to where I’m sitting. “You and I both know this isn’t a farce. We were married in the eyes of the gods, and one day you will learn your place.”
I’m suddenly overly aware I’m on my knees in front of him. It’s a position I never would have taken willingly for this man.
He grins, looking down at me as if he’s had the same realization. “Or maybe you already have.”
His hand grips my chin, lifting my face. I knock his arm away, but shadows wrap around me, pinning my arms to my sides. I refuse to fight him. I know he’ll only enjoy that. He grabs my chin again and I close my eyes.
“Open your fucking eyes.” His fingers dig into my jaw.
I obey only so I can get this over with faster. “This isn’t how you win me over.”
“I don’t need to win you over, Taylan.” He spits my name out like it’s a curse.
My real name on his lips is like a knife going through my chest. I never want to hear him use it again. It’s too personal. It makes things between us too real. I glare at him.
“I only need you to see how much of a mistake you made by giving yourself to my enforcer.” He leans down so his face is closer to mine, and he studies me for several long seconds.
The smile that forms on his lips is almost manic.
“You think you know him. That he’s someone worth saving.
That there’s a good person deep, deep down below that rough exterior. ”
“It doesn’t matter what I think of him. He has nothing to do with how much I hate you,” I say through gritted teeth.
“Aw, but it does. Because there’s a part of you waiting for him to save you, isn’t there?”
“I don’t need saving.”
He lifts a brow. “No?”
I let his taunt hang in the air between us, willing his shadows to dissipate. He releases my jaw, then strokes my cheek, his fingers trailing along my skin to my neck.
His hand closes around my throat enough to make my eyes widen.
He doesn’t cut off my airway, but it’s tight enough to serve as a clear warning.
“You belong to me now. And if you so much as step one toe out of line, I will not only kill all your ladies, but I’ll also end Brevan’s life and that of his sister.
You will play your role. You will smile and laugh and be the life of the fucking party.
Because if you don’t, I will take everything from you, and I’ll make you watch while I do it. ”
“I can’t wait to watch the light leave your eyes,” I hiss.
He squeezes hard enough that my breathing strains.
“That’s the best part, my little raven. If you kill me, or you kill yourself, it triggers the end of everything.
So, you can’t sacrifice either of us for your delusions.
There is no winning for you. No way out.
This is your life now. What you make of it is your choice, but you are mine. And you will always be mine.”
He releases his grip and his shadows all at once, and I collapse forward, forehead against the floor, gulping for air.
Something dark and dangerous slithers through my veins but instead of fear, all I feel is anger.
Caiden thinks he’s won, but I know this is the beginning of his end.
I don’t know how it’s going to happen, but I can feel it in my bones.
I’m smiling when I sit up. I can already imagine how he’ll look as a corpse.
“That’s better.” He strokes my cheek. “You’re so much more beautiful when you smile.”
He walks to the door and I hear him sending someone to get us breakfast. I take the opportunity to shut myself in the bathing chamber.
I don’t care how I get this dress off me, but it has to leave my body right now.
Tearing at fabric and pulling on ties and laces, I manage to get the bodice off, then twist it around my waist so I can undo the back and step out of it.
Thankfully, there’s a robe I can slip on. After splashing cold water on my face and running my fingers through my hair, I leave the bathing chamber. Caiden is in fresh clothes but before he can say anything, there’s a knock on the door.
“Come in,” he calls.
Servants enter with trays of food. They set it up on the small table near the windows.
I notice a few glances at me, but eyes quickly dart away.
I suppose I look the part Caiden wanted me to play.
Torn dress abandoned on the floor in the bathing chamber, me in nothing but a robe.
It paints a pretty picture of exactly how a wedding night is expected to go.
After the door is closed again, Caiden gestures toward the table. “Sit. Eat.”
Looking at him sours my appetite, but I know better than to push him again. Until I have a plan, I need to keep him from losing it completely. The last thing I need is him asserting his claim on me in a more physical way.
I force myself to nibble on fruit while Caiden fills his plate with some of everything on the table. We’re silent long enough that the tea I poured is cold.
“When do we leave?” I ask.
“In an hour,” he says.
Relief floods though me. At least I’ll get to see Anya again and know that she’s safe.
“We have some stops to make along the way and should reach the winter estate in a few weeks,” he says.
“What? A few weeks? Why can’t we go straight there?” I set the bread I was attempting to eat back on my plate.
“Because I have an empire to run. Besides, it will be good for you. You can see what it’s like outside the city. Get to know Pendralia.”
“Can’t you send me along ahead of you?” I know the answer, but I ask anyway.
“You’ll enjoy this.” He glances at my barely touched plate, then looks back at me. “If you’re finished, you can return to your room to dress. I sent some ladies up to meet you. They’ll help you pack for the journey.”
“I want my ladies,” I snap.
“Then you’ll do as I say so they’re still there waiting for you when we arrive at the estate.”