Chapter 19
Nineteen
Sabina
Washing quickly, I finish in the bath, then pull a robe around me before returning to my room. My ladies are gathered in a circle, whispering. I’m sure I know the topic of conversation and I do not want to join them.
There’s a wardrobe across from the bed and when I open it, I’m surprised to find dresses in a variety of colors. I pull a red dress from the collection and hold it out. “Did you see this?”
They stop talking and stare.
“Is this for me? Do you think Caiden…”
Genevieve joins me, then looks through the dresses. “These are all in the newest style. I’d say someone had them made recently.”
“He’s letting you wear color?” Charlotte says longingly.
“I guess.”
“Maybe he really does care for you,” Antonia says.
“He thinks he does,” I tell her. “But there’s a difference between someone caring for you like they own you. Like they’re entitled to you. And someone caring for you because they want what’s best for you.”
I pull out a sunshine yellow dress, holding it in my other hand while I carry the ruby red one. I toss it to Charlotte. “Here. This would look great on you.”
I hold up the ruby dress for Antonia. “Interested?”
She hesitates, then grabs it from me.
I head back to the wardrobe. “What do you think, Genevieve?” I pull out a violet dress with lace down the back. “This would look amazing on you.”
She gasps, then takes it from me, holding it against her chest. Then she pulls a blue dress out of the collection. “This is for you. It’s the same color as your eyes.”
I run my fingers along the silky fabric, then look at the remaining dresses. Half of them are this color. The color of my eyes. Something tightens in my stomach. Was it possible Caiden really did care? Was he even capable of caring?
“Go on, put it on.” She passes it to me. I can’t help the smile that spreads across my lips as I take it from her.
We all change, and suddenly my room feels alive. The colorful furniture and walls, the dresses, even the women look more vivid. Their cheeks naturally flushed, their eyes brighter.
“How did they ever give this up?” I spin in the dress, the skirt twirling around me. They had so much money, the ability to pay for the most vibrant colors, yet they chose to wash it all away.
“I forgot something so simple could bring so much joy,” Charlotte says. “I want to show Elliot. Do you think I could?”
“We should all go,” Genevieve says. “Maybe we’ll cross paths with the prince?”
“Good idea.”
“Not yet,” Antonia snaps.
We all turn to her.
“Your hair is soaking wet and all of us could use a few minutes to finish preparing. First impressions are important.”
“She’s right,” Genevieve agrees.
We spend a few minutes making our hair and makeup presentable, but we rush through it, all of us excited to debut the colorful clothing.
It feels like such a frivolous thing compared to everything else, but I can see the joy in their faces.
They’re chatting about home and summertime and first balls.
Though it might be short-lived, it’s a good distraction.
A way to find a little happiness. They deserve that.
Especially after the message that Mara gave me.
I send the thought away. It can wait. I can give them today.
Besides, I don’t yet know how to do what she requested.
And us parading around in colorful gowns might help reduce suspicion, too.
It’s expected to watch us play the roles of women of the court who are more concerned about fashion and frivolity than anything else.
Scouring the estate for the library and figuring out how to return to the castle is going to take some finesse.
When we step outside my room, both of the men waiting there react with surprise. Nate is quicker to regain his composure. Breven stares at me so long I have to clear my throat. He blinks, then looks at the others.
They giggle, then start down the hall, leaving me with the men. He frowns, watching them for a moment, then returns his attention to me. Nate seems to understand and hurries to catch up to the ladies.
I hesitate a moment, then begin walking slowly. Brevan falls in alongside me.
“I’m surprised he’s letting you guard my door. Or is he making you do it as punishment?” I ask.
“Probably that.”
“I agree.”
“Did he leave those dresses for you?” Brevan keeps his gaze forward, not looking over at me.
“Yes.”
“It’s beautiful. You look beautiful.”
My cheeks heat and I look away from him. “Thank you.”
We’re silent a while, staying a few paces behind the others. My fingers accidentally brush against his and I pull my hands in front of me. It shouldn’t be this complicated to be around him.
“I hate this,” I say.
“I know.”
After a few more steps, I slow even more, waiting for the ladies to be out of earshot. I don’t even know where we’re walking, but they’ve been here longer than me so I’m following. “I think I know where they took Anya.”
“I think I might, also,” he adds.
We turn, then travel down a flight of steps. “It makes sense. To lock them both up at the same location.”
“I had the same thought.”
I hesitate, making sure there’s a gap between us and the others. “Do you know where they hold your sister?”
“Yes.”
A flicker of hope rises in my chest. “Can we get to her?”
He lingers at the top of another set of stairs, then waits until my ladies and Nate vanish from view. “It’s a tower on the coast. Beyond the castle at the edge of the continent.”
My shoulder slump. We were closer when we were at the castle. “How long will we stay here before we return?”
“The old emperor usually stayed for a month or two. But Caiden is planning to go to Iskvaland as soon as the weather allows. This is his closest property.” We’re catching up to the others now, following behind them down a long hallway.
I knew that was coming. I also know they’ll take me along. I was just hoping to get Anya before it was time. “When?”
“Soon.”
“Will you be with him?” I’m almost afraid of the answer. If he is, it’s more opportunity to see each other, but it’s also harder to resist him.
“I suspect I will.”
“That’s good.” I try to keep my voice flat, devoid of emotion, but it breaks nonetheless.
Ahead, light spills from a glass door at the end. The ladies stop, and turn, gesturing for me to join them. I walk away from Brevan without a backward glance. I hate myself. Everything I touch, I destroy. And when I let myself hope, it crumbles.
Charlotte links her arm through mine. “You should see the greenhouse. It’s stunning.”
Nate pushes the door open and we step onto a shoveled pathway. There’s a thin layer of fresh snow covering it and flakes gently fall from the sky, catching on our clothing and hair. A few cling to my eyelashes and I brush them away.
Brevan stays behind us, completing the facade of us having protection when we both know the greater threat comes from the man we both serve.
Nate opens another door, this one the entry to a building of fogged glass. We step inside and I’m hit with a rush of heat. The entire space is green and thriving. Fragrant flowers and heavy fruit trees line a path that leads right down the middle.
I brush my fingertips over a pear. So this is how they have fresh fruit in the winter.
“They told us the emperor built this place for the late empress,” Genevieve supplies. “She chose every plant but passed before she could see it.”
I look around with fresh eyes, wondering what this might have looked like after she turned everything in here a deep shade of black. Was she aware of that in her planning or did she just choose her favorite plants?
I notice a lemon tree dotted with bright fruit. What would it have looked like if all the color was drained from them? It wouldn’t be an oasis. It would be a place of terror.
I wonder if the queen ever got over that aspect of her magic.
For someone who loved plants to lose the ability to see the various shades of green in the leaves and stems along with the seemingly endless colors of flowers and fruit.
Did it break her heart? Did she resent the emperor for making her go into the temple?
Continuing down the path, I study the plants, finding many that I recognize from the books in my old room. It’s warm and damp in here despite the snow beyond the glass. I wonder if it’s just the glass that traps the heat or if magic is used somehow to keep the space feeling like summer.
Something catches my eye, in the back corner, well off the path. You’d have to traipse through so many other plants to reach it, but there in all its proud, poisonous glory is a patch of elm’s breath and tied to one of the stems is a black lace ribbon.