Chapter 26
Twenty-Six
Brevan
The conversations and occasional off-key singing are louder than the music coming from the band tucked away in the corner. I sip the warm ale in my mug, holding back my reaction from the bitter taste. It’s probably the worst I’ve had in a long while, but there’s not a lot of options on this route.
A gust of wind blows, and I look toward the door as Caiden walks in.
With the hood of his cloak covering his head, he could be anyone.
It helps that most people have never actually seen the emperor or the prince to know what they look like.
Without the entourage and expensive clothing, we’re just travelers.
He sits across from me and after a glance around the room, he removes his hood. A woman wearing a dress that’s barely holding in her breasts leans over our table. “Can I get you something, handsome?”
“I’ll have what he’s having.” Caiden lifts his chin toward me.
“And two hot dinners,” I add. “Whatever’s fresh. Meat that was killed today.”
She lifts a skeptical brow but when I push a few silver coins across the table, her expression softens. A practiced smile spreads across her lips. “Of course, gentlemen. And if there’s anything else I can do for you…” She winks at Caiden.
“I’m flattered, miss, but I’m a married man,” he says.
“And where is this wife of yours?” she asks.
“Faithfully waiting for me at home,” he replies.
“Well, she’s a lucky woman.”
Caiden nods toward me. “This one’s available. Don’t think he’ll ever find a woman who can tame him.”
“Is that a challenge?” she teases.
My insides heat. “I’m taking a break from women at the moment.”
“That’s too bad. Let me know if you change your mind.” She walks away from our table, swinging her hips as she does.
I sip my ale, praying it gets me drunk quickly. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s strong enough to do the job.
“You used to be more fun,” Caiden says.
I glare at him over the rim of my cup, then set it down. “Since when do you turn down women?”
“As I told her, I’m a married man.”
“That didn’t stop you on the journey to the winter estate. Not even married a week and already fucking other women.”
“Well, I couldn’t very well get my wife to do it when she was so busy keeping your bed warm.”
“You won’t need to worry about that.” I pick the mug back up and take a large gulp.
“Here you are, darling.” The server sets a mug of ale in front of Caiden. “Food will be out soon. I’m having the cook make something proper for you.”
“Thanks.” Caiden picks up his drink and lifts it in her direction. “As long as you’re taking care of us, we’re happy men.”
She giggles as she walks away.
I groan.
“I can be nice to people without sleeping with them.” He takes a long pull from his mug, then sets it down so hard the foam rises to the brim.
“No, you can’t. Unless you want something else from them. That’s how it is with you. You use people. Every single person you’ve ever known. Everyone you keep in your circle. They all play a role. Don’t think I don’t know that.” Maybe the ale is starting to get to me.
He shrugs, as if he’s bored of the conversation. “Like they aren’t around me for the same reason? That’s how it works when you rule. I don’t get the luxury of having casual friends. They use me, and I use them. I can’t trust anyone unless they owe me something.”
“She’s not going to be your pawn. You’re underestimating her.” It’s the only thing that’s gotten me through what I did to her. The fact that I’m certain she’s stronger than she knows. Stronger than me, that’s for damn sure.
He smirks. “Am I? She came to the castle to kill me. She’s a violent little thing. Simmering with rage and hate. Not unlike others I know. Aimed in the right direction, she’s a tool. A weapon. My weapon.”
I try to mask my chuckle with a drink.
“What?” He glares at me over the rim of his mug.
“You think you can tame her. Nobody can. Especially not with the magic now flowing in her veins.”
He drinks, then sets it down before wiping his mouth. “And what kind of magic is that?”
I realize my mistake too late. Though I have no idea what her magic is capable of, I’ve seen glimpses. “How the fuck would I know? You know better than anyone it can take years to fully manifest.”
His eyes narrow. “That’s interesting. I remember when you didn’t lie to me.”
“Other people’s magic isn’t ours to share. You know that.” It’s the rule we all grew up with, though some people follow it more than others.
“If you care about her, you’ll give me something.
Some kind of hint so I can help her navigate the transition.
You know how hard that is to do alone.” He frowns, and there might be actual concern.
Then I remember that he wants to use her.
It’s all about what he can gain. How he can manipulate her magic to help him.
I drain my mug, then slam it on the table dramatically. “I can’t help you with that. I don’t know what I saw. I just know it’s already started.”
“That’s fine. There’re ways of hurrying the process.”
My blood runs cold. “You wouldn’t.”
“I’ll do whatever I need to do to keep my bride and my kingdom safe.”
Disbelief makes my heart fall into the pit of my stomach. I run my hand through my hair as I put the pieces together. “You’ve been trying to get her to manifest quicker.”
He lifts his brows and shrugs, before returning to his ale.
“Forcing her to watch me in the village, taking Anya…fuck, even letting her be with me. You were testing her emotional responses. Trying to find the one that triggers her.”
“It worked, didn’t it? You saw something when you two were together, didn’t you?” He waves to the server, then points to our mugs.
“Even if I did, you can’t duplicate that, Caiden.”
“I don’t have to. You remember what it was like when the magic came in. The intense feelings, the absolute despair, the darkness we wrestled with, the insatiable need…”
The server drops a round at our table, disappearing with our empty mugs as quickly as she arrived.
I grab mine and slide it across the table. What I wouldn’t give to drink myself to the point of forgetting. “Even you aren’t that awful. You’ve never bedded a woman who didn’t want you.”
He reaches for his ale. “She wants me. She just hasn’t been able to let herself have me yet. With you out of the picture, it’s a matter of time.”
“You’ll never know if it’s the magic acting up, seeking release, or if it’s her desires. It won’t mean anything,” I say.
“I don’t need it to mean something. She’s my wife. Not yours. Her magic is mine to command. It’s just so much easier to control someone who cares about you.” He takes a drink, holding my gaze. He expects me to lash out. To lose control.
“I should kill you right here,” I grit out.
“You could. But you know the consequences of that.” His eyes dart toward the door where a guard leans against the wall.
He’s dressed like a peasant, but I know why he’s here.
I step one toe out of line, and he delivers the message that ends so many lives.
“Are you willing to let her die to prevent me from having her?”
The mug in my grip shatters, sending liquid pouring out over my hands and across the table.
With a growl, I rise from my chair and reach for a napkin to clean myself.
I glare at Caiden. He knows I won’t touch him.
He has so many loyal men who would enjoy torturing Sabina before killing her.
And if he’s not around to stop them, the things they’d do to her would have her wishing for death.
“One of these days, you’re going to cross the wrong person,” I warn. “And then I’m going to stand by and watch as they destroy you.”
“What a glorious day that will be. But until then, I will enjoy my spoils. And the next time she misses her courses, you’ll know it’s my child in her womb.”
I lift the edge of the table and throw it, sending everything on it smashing to the ground.
People scream, then the room goes quiet.
Everyone is staring at us. A few steps away, right next to where the table landed, is the server, holding plates in her hands.
Eyes wide with panic, she stares at the ground.
If she’d taken two more steps, she’d be under the table.
I don’t bother apologizing to her as I storm out of the tavern. There’s not any excuse for what I did, and I don’t deserve the fake smile she’d give me to ensure her own safety.
At this point, I have to hope that Sabina’s magic does come in. And that it far surpasses Caiden’s. Maybe she’ll kill him in his sleep.
She won’t do anything against him while Anya is still a captive. I think I broke her heart enough that my death won’t be enough to keep her in line. At least I could do that for her.
“What the fuck was that?” Caiden shouts as he storms out of the tavern.
I spin to face him, jaw tight, fists clenched.
There’s only one way out of this. I have to let her go.
Completely. “You know what? You’re right.
She’s all yours. Rebel, princess; Sabina, Taylan.
Whoever the fuck she is, you two deserve each other.
And you know what? Maybe she’ll grow to love you.
Maybe she’ll be your little pawn, and the two of you can rule over a festering empire together. ”
His forehead creases, and he studies me. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“Because I remember what it was like when the magic came in. How after, none of us were the same. Even if I wanted to challenge you for her, we both know who she is now, is not who she’ll be.
” It’s what I need to believe. What I’ll need to tell myself on repeat until I no longer crave her the way I crave air I breathe.
“And I’ll be there for her through it,” he says gently. “I might have ulterior motives for keeping her around, but I can also care about her. I can see why you fought for her. She’s special.”
“You can’t care about anyone, Caiden.”
“That’s not true. I just know it’s too risky to care about people. Look what happened to you with your sister. And to her with her best friend. True caring is weakness I can’t afford.”
“You’re wrong. It’s not weakness. Loving someone is strength you don’t have.” I make myself uncurl my fists.
“Maybe. But there’re things even you don’t know about. Things that make everything I do, every risk I take, every person I kill, a worthy sacrifice.” The anger has dissipated. He suddenly looks exhausted and much older than his years.
He sees himself as some self-important ruler who sacrifices for a crown that does far more harm than good. He’s just like his father. “Power isn’t worth all that.”
“You have no idea what true power is, Brevan. And you have no idea the lengths I’d take to stop it.”
“Then tell me,” I say.
“No. You broke my trust far too many times.” He chuckles darkly. “It’s funny. I used to see you as my brother. Then you taught me that the people you love the most are the ones who can hurt you the easiest.”