Chapter 31
Thirty-One
Sabina
Vines slither up my body, wrapping themselves around me. I claw at them, tearing them from me. The more I pull, the tighter they get. My arms are bound, my legs tied with more of the twisting green plants.
I’m trapped.
I thrash and turn but the more I fight, the more they constrict. The light fades and suddenly I’m plunged into darkness. I try to scream, but my voice is gone. There’s nothing there. Nobody’s coming to save me.
It can’t end like this. This isn’t how I die.
I wake with a start, tugging at the blankets that are wrapped around me like the vines in my nightmare. I pull at my clothes, hating the way they feel like they’re suffocating me. It was another dream. My hair sticks to my wet forehead, and I’m panting.
Still, I don’t want to remain in the blankets that were holding me captive. I slip off the bed and pad over to the dying fireplace. The embers glow gold and red, illuminating the room with a strange, faint light.
There’s a peace to it. The dark of night, when it’s quiet and everyone else is asleep. But something gnaws at the back of my mind. An unsettling sort of disruption that feels a little like I’m still being contained.
Out of the corner of my eye, I notice there’s light coming from the window.
Slowly, I walk over and peer out at the moons. They’ve returned. Darkfall is officially over. There was no ceremony, no celebration. With all the other things going on, few of the protocols were followed.
I wonder what the old emperor would have thought of that. What all the ladies of the court thought of that. Were they having parties and events to appease the nobles at the castle? Was it just us here at the winter estate who were moving on as if Darkfall never happened?
I look down at the marks on my wrist and arm. Carefully, I trace them with my fingertip. My nightmare was oddly similar to the vines that permanently mark my skin.
I’ve barely thought about my magic the last couple of weeks.
I don’t know where the time’s gone. I was married then brought to a new place.
I’ve been visited by a goddess that I’m failing.
How long had it been since she last appeared?
And yet, I’d avoided her warning. Instead of embracing my magic, I suppressed it.
I’ve done nothing to invite it in. Nothing to experiment or test it.
Whenever it tries to show itself, I shove it down. There isn’t time for it right now. People are dead. It’s been a week, and we still don’t know who is responsible. And all I’ve done is waste my time reading anything I can get my hands on about plants.
Worse, I still don’t know if Caiden and Brevan are alive.
I have to be missing something.
A flicker of purple catches my attention, and I turn just as the flames return to normal.
“Mara?” I look around, expecting to see the goddess.
The silence is almost worse. Guilt feels heavy in my stomach. I wish I didn’t feel so helpless.
“Mara?” I call to her, hoping she’ll show. “I could use a bit of guidance.”
Nothing.
“I’m sorry I haven’t done what you asked of me.
I had to know what killed Juliette.” My jaw tenses.
“You know, if you told me what it was that I’m supposed to figure out, I’d be done with that, and I could go back to bringing down this empire.
But then again, you’re the one who told me I have to wait. What is it that you want from me?”
The thought swirls in my mind as I recall the tasks she’s given me.
I think she wants me to take my ladies to the grand temple. To see if they can get their own power.
Then there was finding out what’s hidden from me. How am I supposed to discover it without any other guidance? There must be so many things kept from me. Secrets locked deep within the walls of this estate, of the castle, and the empire itself.
They have a dragon. A creature that is supposed to be extinct. I’d say that’s a major secret. Then there’s the hidden garden and the mystery surrounding the emperor’s death. That’s not taking into account the rituals and relics and the way magic is given and controlled here.
Especially now that I know there’re places where people are simply born with it. And that the emperor was hiding someone with power so dangerous, Nate won’t tell me what it does. Only that it typically kills the wielder before they reach maturity.
Then there’s the thirteen dead from some kind of secret poison or other nefarious means that nobody has any information about.
I’d say there’s too much that’s hidden from me already. How am I to discover more? Or is one of those things my task to investigate?
“You’re not a lot of help, you know,” I hiss.
Why is that she always shows up when I don’t need her? And why is nothing she’s said or done helpful in any way? I look at my hands, then the marks I can see. What good is this magic? Shadows and controlling the dead.
Are the other gods like this? Do they show up to the people they gifted magic to and give them cryptic clues?
Frustrated, I march over to where my robe hangs on the wall. I slip it on, then head into the hall. Nate isn’t there, which is surprising. But I’m glad he’s getting some rest.
“Your Majesty. Is everything alright?” Alan, one of the legionnaires who’s been regularly at my door, asks.
“Yes. It’s just that I haven’t been to the temple in a while. I used to go every day at the castle.” I tie the belt around my waist.
“Of course,” he says. “We can arrange for that in the morning.”
“No, I’d like to go now.”
He looks surprised.
I give him my most charming smile. “The temple is inside the estate so I’m still following instructions to stay within the grounds.”
“Yes, you’re right. We can escort you at once,” he says.
“All of you?” I ask.
“That is our order,” he says.
“Fine.” I sigh. “But I need privacy inside.”
“After we inspect it for your safety, we’ll wait outside,” he says.
That’s about as good as it’s going to get for now. They follow me everywhere and aside from when I’m sleeping, they’re checking on me nearly every hour. I’m surprised nobody is insisting on being inside my room.
My throat tightens when I realize that if Brevan and Caiden were here, one of them would likely be in my room whether I liked it or not. I’m not sure I’d mind, to be honest. I shove the thought from my mind when I realize I’m actually missing both of them.
I start walking, not waiting for anyone to lead us. I haven’t been back to the temple since that day when Antonia showed me, but I remember the way.
The halls are still lit with minimal light. I suppose they’ll go back to normal tomorrow. Unless this is the norm here.
As we get closer, I start to feel the temple.
Something cold and dark slithers through my veins.
It twists and swirls, getting more eager and intense the closer we get.
I slow my progress, having to work to suppress the sensation.
I worry they’ll drag me back to my rooms if my shadows leak out and blot out the hallway.
When we arrive, I stay back while Alan and another guard sweep the space. They make quick work of it, returning to the hallway, then each taking a position on either side of the door.
It’s still not as much privacy as I want, but my insides feel like they’re trying to claw their way out of me. With a quick nod, I duck into the temple.
That single candle is still lit. I’m almost certain it’s the same one, which shouldn’t be possible. But the shadows that are starting to seep out of my fingertips shouldn’t be possible, either.
I close the door behind me, then sit on the bench facing the mural. Then, I release everything I was holding in.
Shadows flood from me like tendrils of dark smoke. They slide along the floor and float up the walls. They weave around the candles and wrap around me like affectionate versions of the vines from my nightmares.
Instead of trapping me, they embrace me. They’re warmer than I recall. Comforting, in a strange way.
I’ve never felt like that before about the shadows I create. Is it the space? Maybe they like it here.
They don’t blot out the room. They swirl and float like mist. Hovering above the floor and along the walls. They continue to writhe and curl around the candles.
I watch with fascination, urging them to continue their dance. I’m not sure if it’s my imagination or if they’re actually obeying me. Reaching out my hand, I summon the shadows to me.
They move like ribbons, flowing toward me from all directions. When they reach me, they loop around me, circling me until I send them back to the altar. I liked watching them weave and twist around the dusty candles, so I send them on their way.
The candles begin to flicker to life. One after the other as my shadows pass them. I drop my hands to my side, then look around the room. It’s just me.
Blinking, I call the shadows back and they dissipate, leaving me in the small room with the glowing candles.
How did that happen? Shadows can’t make light, can they? I hold my hand out again, palm up, then think about fire. Nothing happens.
Lowering my hand, I let out a breath. It must be some kind of response from the room itself. Probably to give light to anyone in the space.
I’m relieved. The last thing I need is more magic to figure out. Gripping the edge of the bench, I lean forward and study the mural, my attention lingering on the painting of Mara.
“It’s not a great likeness of you, is it?” I ask. “If not for the raven, I’m not sure I would know it was you.”
I don’t expect an answer, but I keep talking to her. She’s probably listening to me. She’s probably enjoying my discomfort.
“I get it, alright?” I tell her. “I think you’re trying to teach me something, but I don’t know what it is. I still don’t know what I have to do with your plans. Or why you agreed to let me bring down this empire.”
The words taste sour in my mouth. Was that what I was doing? I was here alone and instead of trying to sabotage something, I was trying to solve a murder. To find out how to help the people in the emperor’s employ.
Something dark and angry twists inside me.
I was acting the part of an empress. Concerned for her empire and her husband.
My pulse races, and I suddenly feel too hot. I resist the urge to toss my robe to the ground.
“Fine. I lost sight of what you asked of me. But how am I supposed to find something that’s purposefully being hidden from me? Or help my ladies when I’m trapped here? You know I won’t risk Anya.”
I lean forward, cradling my face with my hands. It’s foolish to think this might have helped me gain clarity. What am I doing? Why didn’t I take Brevan’s offer to leave when I had the chance?
Because you’re not a coward.
I’m not sure if it’s my voice or someone else’s but I don’t agree with it, either way.
I am a coward. I’m so focused on staying alive and keeping Anya alive that I’m not taking any risks.
I’m hiding my magic and playing it safe.
Even while I have allies in the form of my ladies who say they want to help.
What happened to me?
I don’t recognize myself. It’s almost like the emperor won even when he’s dead.
The ground rumbles.
I straighten. The candles shake, the flames flickering madly. The walls are trembling; dust falls from the ceiling. Then the mural cracks right down the middle, spreading to the altar, then to the floor, splitting the stones. Then almost as quickly as it started, it stops.
I expect the guards to rush into the room, to check on me or demand I leave, but nobody arrives.
Moving slowly, I approach the altar. The candles still burn. Not a single one fell. Following the crack, I study how it moved from the wall, to the altar, then to the ground.
Where it split the stone, there’s a gap about as wide as my foot.
And it’s hollow.
There’s a chamber under the floor.
I hurry back out into the hall. The guards all straighten at the sight of me. They don’t seem to have noticed anything unusual. I close the door behind me, then glance at Alan. “Nobody enters this temple without my permission.”
“Is everything alright, Empress?” Alan asks.
“Yes. I need a private space. I want to know it’s only me who enters.” It’s a terrible excuse, but I’m hoping it sounds enough like a spoiled royal to be believable.
He nods, then looks at another guard, a tall man with dark hair named Landon. “You’ll stay here until your shift is over. I’ll send a replacement when mine comes.”
“No one else will get into the temple,” Landon agrees.
I nod, then turn to leave, afraid that anything I say might draw too much attention to the temple. I can’t access the space under the stones without some kind of tool, and likely, help.
And if they didn’t feel the ground shaking outside the temple, it was clearly something meant for me.
With any luck, it’s one of the answers I’ve been looking for.