Chapter 35
Thirty-Five
Sabina
The library has become more familiar than my own room in the estate. We’ve spent the last several days here, taking breaks only when our eyes need a rest. Aside from breakfast, we’ve taken to eating here, though we’re very careful to keep the food away from the books.
I rub my eyes, then look back at the tome in front of me. Samuel had several botany books delivered yesterday and I’ve been going through them as best I can. So far, not a single entry in any of the books is for a poisonous plant. It’s like they wiped all of them from their records.
“Did you know that there used to be whole towns of people from Ashendune who lived in Pendralia?” Antonia asks.
“I haven’t seen that in anything I read,” I say, grateful for a chance to think about something besides botany.
“It looks like they’d come here in the summer, during the most intense heat, and stay for the social seasons.” She looks up from her book. “I guess there used to be more formal social calendars at the castle.”
“When was that? How far back does it go?” I ask.
“It sounds like it was still ongoing whenever this was written. As if it had always been that way.” Her brow furrows. “Wait, was the emperor married before?”
“Before Caiden’s mother?” I ask.
She nods. “It says here that the empress would host days-long festivals with games for the ladies while the men would hunt. They’d culminate in public competitions where even the peasants were invited to watch people duel to the death.” She winces. “That sounds terrible.”
“That sounds like something the emperor would have loved,” I grumble. “Hey, is there anything about dragons in there?”
“Not so far, why?” she asks.
“No reason.” The last thing we need is another thing to investigate.
I still worry about the captive dragon and wonder if there’s a way to free it.
But I’m also not sure freeing it won’t result in mass casualties if it’s out roaming the countryside.
Or leading to its brutal murder. That’s a whole other topic for another day.
When I have at least one of these mysteries solved.
“Do you think the emperor would tell you more about his mother?” Antonia asks.
“I’m not sure.”
“Look what I found!” Charlotte carries a large, dusty tome to our table.
She was back in the library helping us the day following her injuries, and two days ago she snapped at me, telling me that if I apologized one more time, she was going to throw something at me.
I stopped asking about how she was healing after that. She insisted it was just a few bruises and that they didn’t bother her. But I saw the way she winced when she didn’t think I was looking.
She sets the book on the table with a thud, then grins triumphantly.
“What is it?” Antonia asks.
“Import records. Best I can tell, they go up until about five years ago.” She flips to a random page. “See? Every item that came into Pendralia was recorded. And if they have this, they must have the more recent ones somewhere else.”
“That only helps us for things that were brought in legally,” Antonia says.
“Yes, but you’d be surprised what people are willing to record. If this was meant for the royal household, what did they need to hide?” She shrugs. “What if those objects are in here? Or the elm’s breath plants?”
“That’s a lot of pages to search through,” Antonia says.
“I’m not doing much of anything else, and we’re running out of books to check,” Charlotte counters.
My shoulders slump, and I glance at our dwindling pile. Nate found us some books in other places around the estate, but we’re not finding a lot of helpful information so far.
The best thing we’ve found is that the gifting ceremony used to be done in smaller temples in each village. The emperor would travel and hand select loyal nobles to receive a gift. That seems to have stopped nearly two hundred years ago.
We also found record books of people who received a gift and what the gift was. But those were so old that the paper was crumbling under our touch. It was clear they hadn’t continued recording those. And considering the current practice is to keep the gift to one’s self, that made sense.
Genevieve hurries into the library, her cheeks flushed. We all set our books down and turn to her. Since Ludis’s return, we haven’t seen much of her. But blissfully haven’t seen much of him, either.
“Is something wrong?” I spring to my feet and rush over to her.
She stops in front of me. “They just told Ludis that there’s riders approaching. They think it’s the emperor returning. I have to get back to him, but I wanted you to know.”
My heart thunders against my ribs. Every day, I ask for an update on the emperor and every day, I get nothing. The riders who were sent to find them haven’t returned. I wonder if they rode back together.
“Thank you.” I’m smiling. Honestly, legitimately, smiling.
She races from the room, and I wonder what she and Ludis are up to, but there wasn’t time to ask.
“We should greet them,” Antonia announces.
“Should I alert the kitchen staff?” Charlotte asks.
“They won’t want a party tonight, but tell them we’ll have it tomorrow,” I suggest.
“It’ll be a nice change from the library,” she says. “I’ll meet you at the front?”
I nod, and she runs off to inform the kitchen.
“Shall we?” Antonia asks.
Nate, who’s been standing guard outside the library follows behind us silently. I want to ask him if he’s heard anything, but I think better of it. Whatever the outcome, I’ll know everything soon enough.
As we leave the library, I am surprised to realize that I’m happy and a little excited about seeing them. Not just because I will find out if Brevan is alive, but I think I’m also looking forward to seeing Caiden.
I’m having a strange response to Caiden. The gift sitting in my rooms doesn’t make things any less confusing. All those pieces, hand selected for me—smaller, less flashy pieces than most royals would want.
Though it’s possible that he doesn’t want to give a rebel more expensive pieces, I don’t think that’s the reason for his choices.
I also can’t help but wonder if he returned my blades.
It might be a test to see if I’ll try to kill him again.
I brush my fingers over the hidden pockets, making sure they’re still there.
When we arrive at the entryway, we’re not the only ones gathered. The hall is lined with legionnaires and servants, ready to greet the emperor upon his arrival.
I realize I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do. Should I be playing the part of the empress? Do I care if I look the part? I don’t know what an empress would do in this situation.
Before I can dwell on it too long, the doors swing open and several legionnaires walk in. For one brief moment, I hope that I’ll see Anya. It was something I hadn’t let myself consider, but as they march forward then fan out to allow the emperor to enter, I find myself looking for her.
Caiden is alone.
There’s no Anya.
No Brevan.
My heart crashes into my stomach then sits there like a stone. Where are they?
Caiden limps into the estate, his clothing tattered and covered in mud and dark stains. There’s scratches and scrapes on his face and in the bare areas on his arms where his sleeves have been torn apart. A lump rises in my throat. He was fighting, and it didn’t look like it went well.
I suck in a jagged breath as I try not to think the worst. Someone nearby grabs my hand and holds it tight. I can’t turn to look. I’m afraid the impassive stoic expression I’ve managed to fix on my face will crack the second I see any kind of sorrow reflected in anyone else’s expression.
Caiden approaches and someone else gives me a little shove, the hand releases mine. I step forward and lock eyes on the emperor.
He gives me a weary smile. “You look well.”
“Welcome home.” It’s all I can manage while my insides are screaming at me to demand where the others are. Where is my best friend, and where is my enforcer?
I swallow hard. Not my anything. Just the emperor’s enforcer. Loyal to him, nothing to me.
He approaches until he’s right in front of me, then stops. “I’m sure you have questions. I need a few hours to collect myself, then we can talk.”
My fingers tremble as I watch him walk past me and down the hall, a group of legionnaires following in his wake.
Telling someone you need to talk to them, is never good.
The backs of my eyes sting, and I’m clenching my jaw to keep myself from falling apart completely.
They’re dead. That’s the only answer that makes sense for this kind of reaction. He’s not gloating. He’s not bragging. He looks—oh fuck, he looks sad. I didn’t know he was capable of that.
“We should go,” Antonia says. “I can sit with you in your rooms.”
I nod, then we follow the group at a distance, continuing up one more floor of stairs after they turn down the hall to Caiden’s room.
“What do you think happened out there?” I finally ask.
“I don’t know. I’m not sure where they went. You never told me,” Antonia says.
“They told me they were going to check on Anya, but I didn’t get any promises that she’d be returned,” I explain. “What if…what if?”
“Don’t think like that.” Antonia loops her arm through mine. “I’m sure she’s fine. Maybe the others traveling slower and they’ll show up later.”
She doesn’t need to specify who she means by others who might be with Anya. And though I don’t believe her, I nod. “Yeah, maybe.”
“Should we return to your rooms?” Nate offers. “Or would you like me to escort you back to the library?”
Charlotte rushes over to us. “I let the kitchen know. I saw the emperor, where are the others?”
“We don’t know,” Antonia tells her.
“Where’s Genevieve?” Charlotte asks.
“She and Ludis didn’t come down,” I say.
“He must think he’s above greeting the emperor.” Charlotte rolls her eyes.