Welcome to the Chaos #2
I could almost feel the curiosity radiating from Jon. He wouldn’t be deterred until he knew something juicy. He wanted to see a kiss on the cheek or a hand-holding situation. His expression turned intense enough that I wondered if he tried willing it into existence.
“What do you do for work?” Tyler to the rescue. His hand vanished under the table. I’m sure his nails dug into Jon’s leg.
“I run a small tech company. We created the Exhale app.”
Tyler’s eyes went wide. “The health app?”
“It’s a bit of a lifestyle thing. Overcoming burnout, working toward—”
“A healthier you,” Tyler finished. He reached for his phone. With a couple of clicks, he spun it around. “Been a member for almost a year now.”
“And?”
“He makes me do the breathing exercises,” Jon chimed in, less than thrilled with the new direction of the conversation.
“I like Motivational Mondays with Erika. Enjoy my coffee at my desk and get jazzed for the week.” He set his phone down. “She’s great at reframing.”
Sammy leaned forward, captivated. Helping people was his default state. He started as a reluctant passenger on this excursion, but Tyler now spoke his language. It made me happy to see how easily he integrated.
“I’d love to pick your brain,” he said. “We’re always looking to improve.”
“More hot men like Derek,” Jon said. “Just saying, with a voice like that, he can guide my meditations any day.”
They continued talking shop as I chomped away at my double cheeseburger.
As always, Simon had outdone himself. At the bistro, he performed miracles in that kitchen, but I still begged him to open it at night.
I would kill for a burger like this on a moment’s notice.
I’d have to revisit that conversation for purely selfish reasons.
“Excuse me,” Jason said, clanking his glass. Nobody paused their conversations. “Excuse me?”
“Everybody shut up,” Lacie yelled. Silence. “Jason wants to talk.”
“Thanks. I think?” At the next table, Jason tried to get out of his seat. Trapped between Simon and Chris, he all but fell to the ground, pulling himself free.
“Graceful!” Jon yelled.
“Don’t make me tell everybody about the Icy Hot,” he fired back.
All eyes turned to Jon, his face turning beet red. Without a doubt, we’d be hearing that story before the night was over. Amongst this group, the word secret only meant it hadn’t been discussed yet.
“I wanted to say thanks to everybody for coming.” He raised a glass.
“You’ve all heard me say it before. Not so long ago, I thought about leaving Firefly.
It’s hard to imagine how much has changed in the last year.
I have a family.” He took a moment to make eye contact with each of us.
“New and old, each of you is part of that. Thank you for reminding me of the definition of home.”
For all our differences, I agreed, we had become a tribe.
“So, you know how it goes,” he continued. “Raise your glasses.”
As if by habit, everybody raised them into the air. “Family,” they said in unison.
“When’s the wedding?” Patrick asked.
Jason laughed. “Soon. We’ll send you the ‘save the date’… maybe.”
Covering her mouth and deepening her voice, Amanda shouted, “Where is it?”
Jason rested a hand on Simon’s shoulder. The way they looked at one another made my heart melt. They had found their person. More than that, they put it on display, not as a spectacle, but as an invitation for us to share in their happiness.
From under the table, a hand squeezed my thigh.
“Driftwood Cove,” Lucas said. “Dad said I get to be the ring bearer.”
“Call dibs on best man,” Jon said.
“Like hell you will,” Amanda said.
“I will take you out.”
“Try me, Jonny boy.”
“You can stop fighting. You’re both in the wedding. We’ll see who gets to throw the bachelor party.”
“Chris is offering his services as a stripper,” Bobby said.
“Hey!” Chris responded, cheeks already going red.
The poor man would never live down his flirting during Bingo. If word got out that he was taking off his clothes, Gloria would show up with a stack of bills. It’d get out of hand quickly.
“We’ll let you know the details soon as we know.”
“Cheers,” Nick said. “To our gracious hosts.”
Glasses went up again.
“Now, let’s discuss this town and its Pride parade,” Amanda said. “The tents are already going up on the green. It’s going to look like a rainbow hurled.”
“Bonnie said Carl is making bears in tutus,” Tyler said.
“Chainsaw art,” I whispered to Sammy. “Really good, too.”
“What I want to know… Mike, dear, buddy, pal, is your fabulous alter ego leading our first-ever parade?”
The rock in the pit of my stomach sank further. I had been too worried about them making assumptions about Sammy; I hadn’t anticipated anybody asking about the parade. I was wedged into my seat. Escape wasn’t an option.
“Ouch,” Amanda yelped. Somewhere under the table, several feet had kicked her. She glanced back and forth. “I think a… gopher… bit me.”
Eyes rolled. Patrick must have spread the word on my behalf. I appreciated that the brotherhood of bears came to my defense, but it was out there. If I didn’t answer, it’d only bring more attention to it.
“I’m debating my options,” I said. Noncommittal.
“Sammy, are you staying for the parade?” Tyler seized the conversation. We could avoid labeling him, but with the parade looming over us, it’d be the topic of conversation. “Firefly loves a good spectacle.”
“Anything to one-up Merryville,” Jon added.
The conversation settled, waiting for Sammy’s answer.
More than anybody, I wanted to hear him say yes.
Not only would I get more time with this beautiful man, but he’d get to see a town embracing our differences.
Words weren’t enough for this town, and neither were actions—they needed to scream it from the rooftops.
“I’ll be here,” he said. “Might as well check it out.”
I kept my eyes forward, staring at the white button on Tyler’s blue polo.
I didn’t want to give any signs that I squealed on the inside.
Now, I just had to hope he didn’t hear Amanda’s little slip-up.
Everybody might be excited for Firefly’s first annual Pride, but I almost dreaded its impending confrontation.
The chances of me making it through without having to discuss Mabel hovered just north of zero.
“Finish eating,” Lacie said. “I want to see this flash mob dance.”
“Hell no,” Seamus said.
“Keep resisting, Seamus.” She stood at the picnic table. “It only makes victory sweeter.”
While Lacie distracted the bears, I glanced at Sammy.
He maintained a warm, half-cocked smile.
There was no way he hadn’t heard Amanda’s question.
At any point, he could follow it up. It’d come from kindness, and he’d offer an ear to listen, but I didn’t dare say it out loud.
I hid from Firefly because I wanted to give myself a chance to take the spotlight.
I hid from Sammy, fearful this burly man would hear the phrase “drag queen” and turn up his nose.
“Let’s get to it,” Nick said. “You all know she won’t give up.”
Charlie stood, getting a curious glance from his boyfriend. There was no way our resident bad boy was going to participate. “I just want a better seat for this disaster.”
Sammy stood. “Who’s going to show me the steps?”
Lacie squealed. “Another victim!”
Just like that, Sammy went from stranger to family.
With the sun gone, the night brought a gentle chill. Mixed with the humidity, we huddled around the fire, trying to stay warm and dry. Most of the party had moved inside, but Jason and Patrick sat in camp chairs with Sammy and me.
A marshmallow caught fire, and Jason shook it back and forth before clamping it between graham crackers.
I stole glances at Sammy, one hand wrapped around his beer while his other arm hid inside his t-shirt.
As much as I’d love to spend the evening with just the two of us, having him here amongst my favorite people warmed my heart.
“Want another one?” Jason asked.
Sammy shook his head. “I ate too much.” His head rolled in my direction. “Unless there’s more pie. I’d suffer through that.”
“More?” I laughed. “I didn’t even get a slice.”
“I told you to wrestle Amanda for it,” Jason said.
“He’d have lost,” Patrick said.
“I’d have lost.”
Patrick and I chuckled. I held up my cocktail in a salute.
Sammy had survived the gauntlet. They peppered him with questions about his company, his life, living in L.A.
, and whether he wore boxers or briefs. At some point, the blushing changed from embarrassment to acceptance.
Sammy responded, took the jabs, and dealt out a few of his own.
Though more than a few eyes glanced in my direction when he told Amanda, “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.
” Yes, they suspected I already knew the answer.
He reached into the marshmallow bag and jabbed another sugary puff onto the end of a stick.
In the soft light of the fire, his beard almost turned orange.
There was something magical about the flicker of a flame on a man’s face.
I wanted to get out of my chair and smell the smoke and vanilla in his beard.
“It’s been bugging me all night,” Jason said. “But have we met before?”
In gay man terms, the question usually read as, “Have we gotten naked before?” Jason’s eyes narrowed as if he were trying to place the face. “I can swear we’ve met before.”
Sammy froze, marshmallow ablaze. I knew the answer. More importantly, I knew why the answer tensed every muscle in his body.
“He’s got a familiar mug,” I said.
Jason didn’t take the hint. “I can swear… I’ve seen you somewhere outside of Firefly?”
“I— uh—”
“You say that every time you see muscles and a beard,” I said. In the dark of night, he couldn’t see my lip turn up in a snarl. If he didn’t drop it, I’d fling a flaming marshmallow in his direction.
“I think it’s time for me to head indoors,” Patrick said. He gulped the last of his bourbon and set his marshmallow stick to the side. “Jason, you coming?”
“One more,” he said. “I still have—”