10. Cannon
Late Thursday afternoon, we drove up to the Vanderhall cabin at Lake Tahoe. Demi and I rode up with West and Halle, while Halle’s friend Kate and her friend, Jax, followed behind.
I was both nervous and excited for this trip. Nervous because lately I hadn’t had to spend very much time with both West and Demi together. My relationship with Demi had shifted, and I was worried about what West would read into that. I wasn’t sure how he would feel knowing that she and I had become better friends. I worried that he knew me too well and would see right through me, recognizing that I liked his sister way more than I should.
But then I was also excited about this weekend vacation because I liked the idea of hanging out with Demi outside of our apartment. We’d gotten into a comfortable routine, but I was looking forward to spending time with her, doing something else besides making breakfast together and playing video games.
We pulled through the gates and drove up the private lane to the house. It wasn’t really a house at all—it was more like an estate. The Vanderhalls’ vacation home was the epitome of luxury. I’d been lucky enough to enjoy the perks of this estate several times over the years. But this time felt different. This time I had a relationship with Demi that was about more than just her being West’s younger sister. I’d already been acting differently on the car ride up here, and from the side glances I’d gotten from Demi, she had noticed. Spending the next three days with all of us living under the same roof would be interesting, even if said roof covered sixteen-thousand square feet.
West pulled his parents’ Escalade that he’d borrowed into one of the garage bays. We stepped out of the SUV, and West motioned for Kate to park in the bay next to ours.
Jax got out of the car, his mouth hanging open as he looked around. “Whoa. I thought this whole time we were going to some cozy cabin in the mountains. This is unreal.”
Kate and Halle had similar expressions to Jax. I’d had the same one the first time I’d come here too.
“Wait until you see the view,” I told them.
It was my favorite part about this place. Yes, the house was unbelievable, with its gourmet kitchen, eight bedrooms, each with its own fireplace, a theater, a gym, a game room, and a sauna. But it couldn’t compare to the view from the lakefront property, with a private dock, firepit, hot tub, and patio equipped with ample seating and an outdoor kitchen. Summer nights looking out over the water had always been something I looked forward to with the Vanderhalls.
West walked backwards toward the door leading into the house from the garage. “Let me give you three a tour, and then we’ll come back and get our bags.”
The four of them made their way into the house, leaving Demi and me alone.
Heading to the back of the Escalade, I opened the back to help Demi with her bags. I grabbed the two heavier ones, while she took two smaller ones.
“You okay?” she asked warily, as we made our way to her bedroom.
She, West, and I used the same bedrooms every time we came here. Hers was across the hall from mine.
“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?” I said, hoping I sounded nonchalant.
She stopped in the hallway, standing between the two doorways that led to our bedrooms, giving me a skeptical look. “You barely said more than two words to me on the way here.”
I set down her suitcases just on the other side of her door and rubbed the back of my head, feeling sheepish. “I’m sorry. I don’t know how to be your friend and West’s friend.” My excuse sounded lame even to my ears.
Her brows creased. “Does it have to be different? Isn’t being his friend the same as being my friend?”
Ha! I wanted to laugh. No, it definitely was not the same for me. I did not want to jump West and kiss him until we were forced to come up for air.
Instead of telling her that, I went with a partial truth instead. “I don’t want West to think there is more going on between us than there is,” I attempted to explain. “He’s known me for a long time, and I’m worried he’ll notice things and read more into them than he should. As you’ve pointed out before, I don’t have friends. Especially not female ones.”
“But we’ve known each other for a long time, been on multiple vacations together. I don’t think he’ll be that surprised that we’ve gotten closer after living together for two and half weeks,” she said, sounding ridiculously logical. “Although I wouldn’t recommend a tickle session. Not sure we could get away with that twice,” she teased.
One side of my mouth tipped up in a mischievous smile. “I haven’t tickled you since then. I’m thinking it’s way overdue.”
Her eyes went wide. “You wouldn’t dare.”
“Oh, I dare.”
She spun on her heel, letting out a yelp before ducking into her room, me right behind her.
I raced after her, but she turned around, her back to the king size bed, surprising me as she held out her hands to stop me, a look of anticipation on her face. “Cannon, this isn’t fair. You’re way bigger than me, and I can’t truly defend myself.”
I slowly continued to stalk toward her. If she really didn’t want me coming after her, she wouldn’t be smiling at me like that. “I thought women liked it when a guy was bigger than them.”
Her eyes darkened at my words, a flushed look pinking her cheeks. “That may be true, but…” She paused, seeming to be at a loss for words, before finally saying, “For other activities, not tickling.”
I raised a brow, interested in where I could take this conversation. “What are these other activities?” I slowly took another step toward her. I was being reckless, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. I was wrapped up in Demi and this game we were playing.
Her cheeks were now red, the blush extending down her neck as her breathing visibly picked up speed. “Other activities, like hugging, cuddling, carrying us,” she rattled off.
“Hmm,” I mused with a wicked grin. “Sounds like you’re leaving out some other important activities.” I was now only a few feet away from her.
She put her hands on her hips and gave me a pointed look. “I am not talking about those types of activities with you.”
In one swift motion, I stepped forward and dipped down to grab the backs of her legs, lifting her up and dropping her back on the bed. She let out a squeal as her back hit the mattress. Her look of surprise had my lips twitching as I tried to hold back my laughter.
I slowly climbed on the bed, hovering above her, keeping eye contact. “What’s so wrong with talking about—”
Her hand shot up and covered my mouth, effectively cutting off what I was about to say. “We’re not talking about that.”
I smiled under her hand, gently pulling it from my mouth. “About what?” I teased, feigning innocence. “All I was going to say is what’s wrong with talking about how women also like when guys are bigger than them because it makes them feel safe and protected.” My arms caged her in underneath me, but I wasn’t touching a single part of her body.
“Oh,” she said in a whisper. “Yeah, we do like that.”
We continued to stare at one another, her blonde hair spread out against the white duvet, brown eyes swirling with what I hoped was desire, lips barely parted as her breath came in shallow.
Staring down at her, I realized I’d gotten us into this situation and now I wasn’t sure how to get us out of it. Demi had a way of pulling me in, of making me forget I was trying to keep things platonic. Our current position was definitely not helping us keep things in the friend zone. But right now, friendship was the furthest thing from my mind.
“Demi?” West’s voice called out, approaching down the hall.
Crap. Both our eyes went wide.
We’d only been at the house for a few minutes and if I didn’t move fast, he was going to find me straddling his sister on her bed.
I jumped off the bed and dropped to the ground, sliding my large body under the bed as best I could, my chest touching the bottom of the bed.
“Are you okay?” West asked, his voice sounding close enough that he was at least in the doorway. I prayed he didn’t see my feet sticking out from under the bed.
“Uh, yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?” Demi said, trying to sound nonchalant, but I could still hear the breathlessness in it.
“I heard you scream and wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“Oh, that,” she said. “I tripped over one of my bags and almost lost my footing.”
“Okay,” he said slowly, and I knew him well enough to know that he thought something was up.
Shoot. If he found me under this bed, I was pretty sure he would think the worst—and I wouldn’t blame him. It wouldn’t bode well for me, no matter how innocent Demi and I claimed things were between us. Although I was positive we both knew we kept blurring the lines of friendship. Our attraction to each other had only escalated since we’d been spending more time together. But I was going to keep our lie going on as long as I could.
“Do you know where Cannon is?” he asked.
“Nope.”
Demi wasn’t a great liar, and I hoped West didn’t see right through her.
“He’s probably outside,” West mused. “That’s usually the first place he goes.”
Usually it is, but I’d wanted the opportunity to be alone with Demi too much.
“Yeah, probably,” she agreed.
“I’ll see you downstairs for dinner.”
“Okay,” she chirped.
Footsteps drifted away, and I breathed a sigh of relief.
Her head popped down from the bed, hanging upside down. “You stuck under there?”
“I might be.” I tried not to think about what I would do if I was truly stuck. Claustrophobic thoughts filled my mind and I breathed to calm myself.
Demi dropped to the ground, reaching to grab my arm, and pulled. “C’mon, big guy.”
“I’m trying. It’s not like I want to stay here.”
I tried to move to the side, but it proved harder than I thought. Unwanted memories flooded my mind of all the times I’d hidden under the bed as a child to get away from my parents, to get away from the yelling, to get away from all the people in our house doing things I hadn’t fully understood at the time.
The last time I’d hid under my bed resurfaced, the images as clear as the day when they had happened. I’d had a growth spurt, not realizing that when I hurried to duck under my bed—the only place I ever felt a sliver of safety—that I wouldn’t be able to get out. I’d yelled, cried, screamed for help. It could have been minutes or hours, but eventually my dad had found me. He’d laughed at me, then yelled at me, calling me an idiot. Threatened to let me stay stuck there to learn a lesson, to learn that no matter what I did I’d never escape this life, that I would be just like him one day.
Shaking my head, I forced myself back into the present. Slow inch by slow inch, I finally made it out, filling my lungs as I stood.
“Hey, you okay?” she asked for the second time in only a few minutes.
I wasn’t sure what she saw when she looked at me, but she stepped closer to stand in front of me, lightly placing her hands on my chest, her eyes roaming my face in concern. I took a few more gulps of air, trying to calm my racing heart. The fear of West finding me under the bed had overridden my fear of being stuck and the memories that had come with it, but it had taken longer than I’d realized it would to get out, and my claustrophobia, induced in childhood, had come out in full force.
I focused on her hands where they touched me instead of my irrational fear and haunted memories. Placing my hand over hers to ground myself, I took one more breath.
“Sorry,” I said, finally coming back to myself and stepping back from her. “I got a little claustrophobic down there.”
Her hands dropped to her side. “But you’re okay now?”
“Yes.” I pushed out a smile, not wanting her to worry. “I’m great.” Embarrassment flooded my system. I’d totally freaked out in front of her. “I’d better get out of here just in case your brother comes back.”
I walked past her, wanting to get away, but before I was out of reach, she stopped me with a hand on my arm. “Wait,” she said. I paused and turned to face her. “Remember, we’re friends now. If you need to talk about anything. I’m here. And you never have to be embarrassed or ashamed of anything. Real friends help each other, they don’t judge. Their friendship is unconditional.”
I stared at her, not wanting her words to seep in and burrow into my heart. She didn’t know anything about the things I’d experienced as a kid. West only knew the bare minimum. I’d skimmed over the details, only giving him enough to understand why I was the way I was.
I didn’t know if I could let her in. I didn’t know if I could let anyone in. All I wanted was to forget about it, forget the first fifteen years of my life. Except no matter how hard I tried, memories clawed their way up from the depths where I’d tried to bury them.
Her hand slid down my arm as she let it go, but I caught her hand before it dropped, holding it in mine. “Thank you.” I gave her hand a soft squeeze before I let go and walked out of her room.