Chapter 25
Chapter Twenty-Five
Jonah woke to the smell of coffee he hadn’t made, and the sound of Tzipi on the phone.
Tzipi stood at his tiny kitchen counter, coffee mug and phone in hand. She'd put on another one of his T-shirts and her own leggings. Her short hair stuck up in the back.
She'd never looked more beautiful.
"—yes, I understand. No, that's exactly what we needed." A pause. "Thank you so much. I owe you dinner next time I'm in LA."
She hung up and turned to face him, eyes bright with vindication. And kissed him full on the mouth.
“My friend came through with third party lab results.
Shellfish. Definitive. Shrimp and crab shell derivatives in the glucosamine.
Not disclosed anywhere on the packaging.
" She opened her email so he could read for himself.
"Plus the kosher certification is fake—traced to a one-rabbi operation in New Jersey that's been flagged by the Orthodox Union for fraudulent hechshers. "
Jonah scanned the report. "And the clinical trials?"
"Don't exist. Or rather, they exist for a completely different product with a different formula. ChaiCycle just borrowed the research and claimed it was theirs." She was pacing now; energy radiating off her. "It's fraud, Jonah. Multiple FDA violations. False advertising. Allergen mislabeling."
"Which means Rob can't touch us.” Jonah pulled her into a hug. "He threatens to post the video, we threaten to expose this. He's the one who's screwed, not Kara."
She sagged against him. "God, I was so scared."
"I know."
"I thought I'd ruined everything. That I'd destroyed Kara's reputation, her career—"
"You didn't." He tilted her chin up. “Everything you found? That's the opposite of ruining things."
Her phone buzzed. Another text from Rob.
Hey! Still good tomorrow for our pre-press meet, 9am? Russ & Daughters Deli, Lower East Side. Bring your publicist if you want – the more the merrier! This is going to be amazing.
Tzipi showed it to Jonah. "He has no idea what's coming."
"Good." Jonah kissed her forehead. "Let's keep it that way."
Jonah's phone buzzed. Julie had kicked off a Klein sibling group chat with a text. Then another came from Jess. Then a third from Jillian.
Holy shit, did you see this?
The Matzo Baller is ALL OVER the news!
Call us, Jo!!!
He clicked the link Jules had attached.
HANNON KERSHAW HOSPITALIZED AFTER APPARENT brEAKDOWN AT HANUKKAH GALA
Below the article was a video. Hannon, in his Radian Prime costume, on the pier, bellowing “KARAAAAA!” at the camera phones as if he was auditioning for A Streetcar Named Desire. Stumbling. Security trying to restrain him.
And in the corner of the frame — barely visible — was Robby, shivering in the cold and trying to pass off packets of ChaiCycle to passersby. Looking miserable as a one-man show.
"Oh shit," Tzipi breathed, reading over his shoulder.
The article detailed Hannon's "erratic behavior" throughout the evening, culminating in a "public meltdown" that resulted in his team checking him into a "wellness facility" for "exhaustion."
“That’s code in the biz for rehab," Tzipi said. "He needs it. But..." She chewed her lip. "This may make the whole Kara thing even more visible. People are going to be looking back at the Baller coverage, scrutinizing photos, wondering if anything else was off."
“All the more reason we get ahead of the narrative.” Jonah set his phone down.
Tzipi nodded slowly. Then looked up at him, something vulnerable in her expression. "Jonah... why are you still doing this? Helping me? After everything?"
"Everything meaning...?"
"Meaning all of this is happening because I lied. Well, not technically, but I let you believe I was someone I wasn't. And you –" She hesitated. "You lied too. So why aren't we... I don't know, fighting about that? Why are we making breakfast and solving contract disputes like it's normal?"
Jonah turned to face her fully. "Do you want to fight more about it?"
"I –" She stopped. "I don't know. Not really?”
They stood there, hands linked, the morning sun warming the space between them.
"I'm sorry," Jonah said. “For letting you believe the whole night was real when half of it was built on me knowing something you didn't."
"Half of it was real, though." Her voice was small. "Wasn't it?"
"All of it was real. For me, anyway." He squeezed her hands.
"Every word. Every moment. The only thing that wasn't real was Max.
But Jonah? The guy who couldn't stop staring at you?
Who wanted to know what made you laugh? Who fell so goddamn hard he practically forgot his own name?
" He smiled ruefully. "That was all me."
She kissed him again, slower this time. Softer. The kind of kiss that felt like a promise instead of an escape.
They built their case of evidence side by side, but now Tzipi was hyperaware of every point of contact—his knee against hers, his hand occasionally brushing her arm as he swiped through the contract, the way he'd absently start humming while he read.
This was nice. Domestic. The kind of lazy Sunday she'd imagined having with someone, back when Lorne was alive and they'd daydream about their future.
His birthday, she realized, had come and gone yesterday.
Her life, meanwhile, was going on.
And this future – this messy, complicated, built-on-lies-that-somehow-turned-real future – this one might actually happen.
If she was brave enough to let it.
"Hey," Jonah said, breaking her spiral. "Where'd you go?"
"Nowhere. Just thinking."
"About?"
"About how I'm supposed to go back to LA after this. Back to my apartment and my nonprofit and my regular life." She picked at a thread on his shirt. "And how I don't really want to."
Jonah was very still. "No?"
“You want to stay?”
"Yeah."
"In New York."
"Yeah."
"Where I live."
She finally looked up at him. "Would that be crazy? We barely know each other."
"We know each other pretty well, actually. I know your lip-bite. You take your coffee black with too much sugar. You're left-handed. You care more about your sister's reputation than your own. You're brilliant at what you do. And you look really fucking good in my T-shirts."
Tzipi laughed. "That's a lot of observations for one night."
"It was a very memorable night."
"It was a disaster."
"The best kind." He cupped her face. "For the record?
I don't think it's crazy. I think it's terrifying and probably too fast and definitely not how normal people do this.
But I don't care. If you want to stay, stay.
If you need to go back to LA first and think about it, do that.
But Tzipi? " His thumb brushed her cheek. "I want you here. However that looks."
"What if we're just caught up in the adrenaline? The lies and the drama and the…"
"Then we'll figure it out." He kissed her forehead. "Together. That's the point of together, right? Figuring shit out?"
She leaned into him, letting his certainty anchor her. "Okay."
"Okay?"
"Okay, I'll stay. At least through Hanukkah. Maybe longer. We'll see."
"We'll see," Jonah echoed, grinning. "I can work with that."
He stood, stretching. "Come on. We've been staring at documents forever. And your sister’s plane lands in three hours. Let's get out of here."
"And go where?"
"I don't know. Walk around. Let me show you my neighborhood.” He held out his hand. "You're in New York. Might as well see it."
They bundled up – Jonah in his winter coat, Tzipi in Kara's borrowed cashmere –and headed out into the sunny Manhattan afternoon.
Tomorrow, they'd face Rob. Tomorrow, they'd deal with the fallout.
But today? Today was just them. Walking through Murray Hill. Stealing kisses on street corners. Being normal.
Being real.
Finally.