Chapter 25 Festival of Fall and Feelings
Festival of Fall and Feelings
MILLIE
It’s been two weeks since I walked out of Gabriel’s house, and not a day goes by that I don’t think about him and Aura.
I’ve buried myself in work—crafting new drinks, reworking the menu, designing new merchandise. Anything to avoid the silence at home, which has been deafening. The memories don’t let me escape, flooding my mind when I’m alone or as I’m trying to fall asleep.
At night, I replay every word, every glance, every moment with a painful clarity that makes it impossible to rest.
I know, logically, it would be reckless of me to get married to a man I’ve only officially been dating for the past two months. But when I close my eyes, I feel the pull, the longing to say yes. To make it real.
It’s like a quiet ache deep in my chest. Part of it is hope, part of it is fear telling me that maybe this could be the beginning of something true and lasting. But the voice of caution is loud. Louder than I want to admit.
“Hey, Mills, both of your sisters are here to see you,” Breanna, one of my baristas, calls out from the doorway.
“Thanks Bren, tell them I’ll be right out.” I reply, taking a moment to finish the list of things I should be doing.
Lucie and Kenna texted earlier in the week about a girl’s day, and I could use a distraction. A day to forget, even if for just a few hours.
“Okay. I’m ready for our girl’s day,” I say as I step out from behind the counter, but I freeze as I spot Gabriel at the front of the café, ordering his usual post-shift pick-me-up.
He turns to look at me, and that smile—oh God, that smile—blooms across his face. Butterflies stir in my stomach.
Why does he have to be so goddamn irresistible? It would be one thing if he was a jerk, but he is so good to me. Nothing but kind.
I was the jerk. The one who walked away, the one who couldn’t find the courage to say what was really in my heart.
“Bumper,” Gabriel says, a pleading look in his eyes.
I force myself to look away, telling myself I won’t make this harder than it already is. But the ache in my chest twists tighter.
As we head to Lucie’s car, Kenna breaks the silence.
“So, was that the first time you’ve seen him since…you know?” she asks cautiously, glancing at me in the rearview mirror.
I nod, staring out the window, willing the conversation to end. No such luck. Lucie pipes up from the front.
“Yeah, he looked kind of sad. I feel bad for the guy.”
I roll my eyes. Seriously? They’re on his side?
“You do realize that he basically proposed to me out of nowhere, right?” I say, my voice tight. “I would do anything for Aura, getting married to someone I’ve been dating for less than three months. It’s way too soon.”
Kenna and Lucie exchange a look. Then Kenna, ever the practical one, shrugs.
“Well, hon, it’s not like you just met the man two months ago. You’ve known him for over six months. Stayed in his house, went on vacation together. Honestly, your relationship status is kind of irrelevant.”
I can’t argue with that. She’s right. I’ve known Gabriel long before we became a couple, but this still feels too soon.
“Yeah,” Lucie chimes in, “What’s the harm in getting married now? You love him, right?” Lucie asks.
But love doesn’t always equal readiness. That’s what no one seems to get. Just because my heart knows him doesn’t mean my mind and body are caught up. I’m still scared—terrified, really—of losing myself again, of stepping into something I can’t undo.
Why does my heart feel like it’s stuck between a rock and a hard place?
We pull up to the nail salon, Kenna immediately starts raving about the latest nail trends. She’s all over these glazed donut nails—very fitting for my café aesthetic. She also shows me some “Aura” nail designs, and I can’t help but smile at the thought of my little girl.
We sit down in the waiting area, and I’m torn between baby pink and blue. Kenna pushes me toward the pink, and I happily comply.
Our parents text us while we are at the salon telling us that we are having family dinner in a week at Reuben’s restaurant after getting family photos retaken. A small reminder that life goes on, no matter what our hearts are tangled in.
Once we have finished getting our nails done, we head to a Bistro nearby. As we chat about about costume ideas for the Halloween Bash, Kenna is adamant I ditch my usual costume and go for something new.
“You’ve been the same thing the past two years!” Kenna says, clearly appalled by my reluctance to change.
“I’m just saying,” I reply with a shrug, “It’s a safe option. Plus, I’ve won all the awards already.”
“Okay, but how about you be a cat this year?” Kenna suggests, her eyes lighting up with excitement. “Hmm, a cat could work,” I admit. I already have a jumpsuit. Kenna can work her hair magic to style me.
“Perfect,” Kenna grins. “Cat it is.”
The week goes by quickly as I prepare for my first Fall Festival. It’s my first year running a booth, and I want everything to be perfect.
I created a special fall themed menu with drinks inspired by the season, flavors, and tv shows that give off a cozy fall vibe. I have been perfecting my macaron recipe and have a few different flavors that I will be selling during the festival as well.
Each business gets their own booth to sell their products. This being my first year, I wanted to run it with two of my employee’s.
Seeing everyone come together in town despite the crisp autumn air, I can still feel the excitement buzzing all around me.
The streets are alive with color—hay bales, corn stalks, and pumpkins of all shapes and sizes create a picture-perfect scene that stunningly captures the essence of our town during fall.
Families walk throughout the town square, visiting each booth. At the base of the town statue, a stage is set up, and a band is playing music. I watch as children run around in Halloween costumes with painted faces, their laughter ringing through the music as they play games and make fall crafts.
I recognize people who have been in the café. Our booth is doing well when the one person who I didn’t want to stop at our booth stands in front of me.
“Hey, Bumper,” Gabriel says, smiling.
I can’t take my eyes off of him, it’s as if nothing happened over the past two weeks.
I try to focus on Aura, who is in her stroller, but it’s impossible to ignore Gabriel standing there, looking exhausted but still so beautiful.
I unbuckle her from her stroller, fixing her beanie hat so it covers her ears. “Hi, my baby girl,” I coo. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“She’s missed you too, Bumper. So have I. So fucking much,” he says, shaking his head slowly.
I swallow hard, trying to keep my emotions in check. “I miss you guys too…”
Gabriel opens his mouth to say something, but I’m already talking, my voice unsteady. “I’m just not ready, Gabriel. I love you. I love Aura. But I can’t marry you right now. Not like this.”
I walk away before he can respond, heading toward my sister’s booth. Kenna looks up, immediately pulling me aside when the conversation dies down.
“Did I just see you talking to Gabriel?” she asks, her eyebrows raised.
I groan, sinking into the chair behind the table. “Yeah. I just…I can’t seem to shut him out, Ken. Why can’t I walk away for good?”
Kenna pulls me into a tight hug. “Cause you’re in love, baby sis.”
I almost laugh at how simple and obvious it sounds, but she’s right. I just didn’t want to admit it yet.
Love was never the question. It was the timing. The fear. The broken places in me that still haven’t healed, no matter how many late-night baking sessions or distraction coffees I make.
The rest of the festival goes smoothly, and when I finally return to my booth after running to the café, I find a note tucked on top of a cooler.
Please let me explain. Meet me on Saturday night at Reuben’s place. I promise to make it worth your time. I’ll be there at 7.
All my love,
Gabriel
I fold the note from Gabriel and tuck it in my back pocket, my heart hammering. I know I’m walking into a conversation I’m not fully prepared for, but I owe it to myself to hear him out. I just hope I’m not setting myself up for heartbreak.
Hope is a dangerous thing, especially when it’s tangled in promises that might never come true.
It isn’t that I don’t love Gabriel. I do. I love him more than I’ve loved anyone else. I just never imagined getting married under these circumstances.
As I walk back to the café, a million different questions run through my mind.
What if he loses custody of Aura? Am I being overdramatic?
Is this little bump in the road worth losing Gabriel forever?
Gabriel is all that is on my mind. I need to sort out my feelings before I meet with him next weekend.
He wants to meet the day my parents want to take the family photos. Since we are already planning on catching dinner at Rue’s after, I will just wait for Gabriel to get there so we can talk. Maybe the familiarity of family will make this harder or easier. I guess I’ll find out.
As I prepare for dinner, I suddenly have the urge to make maritozzi—the sweet Italian buns Gabriel’s mom taught me how to make when we were there. I haven’t made them since, but just the thought of that warm kitchen and the way her hands moved so confidently through the dough makes me smile.
I start gathering the ingredients, the smell of orange zest and yeast pulling the memory into sharper focus.
“Millie,” she had said, patting the wooden counter with both hands. “You’re going to learn something very important today.”
I laughed, brushing my hands on a towel. “Is this a family recipe?”
“It’s the kind of recipe that brings people together. Always,” she said, setting down the ingredients with practiced grace.