32. Chapter 32
Thomas waited at the edge of the drive for the Duke of Gilfordshire’s carriage to arrive back at home.
Jack had gone with them as footman tonight with strict orders to keep an eye on comings and goings.
Waiting for news of how the evening had gone was driving Thomas as mad as King George.
If Lord Chilcott proposed marriage to Lady Lavender at the ball tonight, what options were available to him?
He watched as a group of older boys raced up the street, the smallest of them claiming a victory at their destination.
His comrades celebrated him with a little shoving and good-natured laughs.
Thomas recalled his own youth: he’d been witness to many of the same scenes, but no one pushed or shoved a duke.
He had always been deprived of that particular type of relationship.
He’d not had true friends, only Ron and hangers on.
That is, until Samuel. And now he had Jack.
It had taken the better part of a year watching and taking note of how the other duke conducted himself before he’d tried to become more than acquaintances.
But that was how it had always been with Thomas since his uncle’s betrayal.
Every member of Thomas’s staff had been researched and then questioned thoroughly upon entering into his service.
It hadn’t been on purpose that Thomas had created a reputation for himself as the pickiest master in England—but it served his purposes all the same.
There were far fewer servants applying to work for him who were of ill repute.
Thomas wondered, for a moment, when he would be able to act as the master of his house again. He scuffed his boot on the cobbled street.
The sound of an approaching carriage pulled him from his melancholy. He rolled his shoulders back and fisted his hands at his sides when he saw the crest of Gilfordshire emblazoned upon the side of the equipage.
Jack’s head of orange hair popped out from behind as they stopped. “Here again? I’m going to start calling you mother.” He laughed, but it was forced. “Don’t worry, we made it back in one piece.”
Jack opened the carriage door, and Thomas stood at the exit while Samuel climbed down, a slight shake to his head when he saw Thomas there.
What does that mean? Samuel turned and helped down his wife and then stepped aside so Thomas could help down Lady Lavender.
Her hand shook in his own. He squeezed just a fraction.
“Are you well?” he whispered as she set foot on the ground.
Her eyes settled on him like a soft blanket. “I hardly know. But it is good to see you, Tom. It is a timely reminder that honest and good people do indeed exist.”
It was like a lance to his heart. She didn’t know him . . . not the real him. His entire presence in her life was a lie. And he hated it. “Lady Lavender, I—”
“Tom,” called Samuel. “Please allow Lady Lavender to return indoors. I believe she needs to sit down.”
“Of course, Your Grace.” Thomas guided Lady Lavender toward the duke and duchess who were just entering the front door. “Might I have a word, Lord Gilfordshire?”
Samuel let out a tired sigh and turned to Miriam. “I will be only a moment. Wait for my return before you begin your recollection of the evening.”
She nodded and then sent a small painful smile Thomas’s direction. She followed Lady Lavender inside and shut the door behind them.
Samuel came close enough for Thomas to whisper. “I need to tell her.”
“That would only put her in more danger right now,” Samuel snapped. “The less she knows about you, the better off she is, at least for the present.”
Thomas’s head pulled back. Samuel never spoke like that. “What has happened?”
“Lady Lavender is being . . . manipulated. Yes, that is likely the best word for it.” Samuel pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t know how to protect her.”
“Then let me protect her,” Thomas pleaded.
“You? As what? A footman? Or as a duke labeled as a criminal to all of society? She is embroiled in this scheme just as much as you are,” Samuel hissed through gritted teeth.
A million questions battered at Thomas’s mind. “What happened tonight?”
Samuel ran a hand through his hair making it stick up at odd angles.
“Your menace of a cousin happened.” He put up his hands to ward off whatever Thomas was going to say.
“Don’t worry, she’s not engaged to the man.
I’ll tell you everything tomorrow. Lady Lavender has had enough shocks tonight.
” He put a hand on Thomas’s shoulder. “Right now, I need to make sure she feels safe. Chilcott won’t get away with his plans—you and I will make sure of it.
” He strode into the house without another look back.
Thomas felt rooted to the spot. He wanted to march up the front steps and let himself into the duke’s study.
He would take Lady Lavender to France if it were necessary to keep her safe.
The irony of the misguided thought was not lost on him.
He wasn’t thinking clearly. He trudged back to the stable and found Jack sitting on the wooden fence top with his head in his hands. “Jack, can you help me in the garden?”
Jack slunk from his perch and kept his eyes on the ground as he passed Thomas. “I’ve disappointed you,” he said.
Thomas clapped him on the shoulder. “What gives you that impression?”
Jack’s eyes flicked up. “I heard nothin’, Your Grace. It was a waste of an evening.”
“All I want is for Lady Lavender and yourself to be safe. You both managed to come home tonight. That is all I want. Well, that and for you to call me, Tom. We can’t go around giving away my identity.”
Jack nodded. “Something’s not right. She’s overset.”
Thomas realized that Jack, too, was worried for Lady Lavender. “I believe you are correct. And the only way I can figure to help her is to reveal myself.”
“Reveal your—” Jack clapped a hand over his mouth. “You can’t do that. Not right now. Lord Chicken-snot has made people pretty upset about you. There’s no sayin’ they won’t be out for blood.”
Thomas smiled. “Jack, your penchant for animal sayings has never had a prouder moment. Lord Chicken-snot may be upset, but I am tired of him using Lady Lavender ill. He needs to answer for his crimes.”
“Yeah,” Jack rallied. “What . . . what crimes are those?”
“Mistreating a lady, being a bore, spreading falsehoods, crossing the Duke of Fenleigh . . . you get the idea.”
Jack smiled. “That I do.”
The next evening, Thomas watched for Lady Lavender’s appearance.
When he’d seen her tugging on her long gloves as she ventured into the garden, he waved to get Jack’s attention.
“Wish me luck, Jack,” Thomas nodded to his friend.
Could it be that she missed her swing, or could he hope it was him she was searching for?
Jack gave a rigid salute. “I’ll keep an eye out for visitors.”
The fact that Jack had become so dear to Thomas over the past months was one of the greatest triumphs of Thomas’s being a servant.
He wondered if the Duke of Gilfordshire would part with Jack if Thomas’s name was ever cleared.
And it had to be cleared. His entire plan for today was banking on the idea that he would one day be the Duke of Fenleigh again.
He rubbed his sweaty palms on his trousers as he followed Lady Lavender’s path toward the giant oak tree. As he suspected, she was there but facing away from him.
“Hello, Tom,” she said without looking his way.
“How did you know it was me?”
She turned her head to look at him. “You are always here when I need you to be.”
Thomas took courage at that. “What can I do for you?”
Her cheeks turned crimson. “Marry me?”
Thomas chuckled even as his heart came to an abrupt halt. “We both know you are too good for me.”
“You’re wrong.” Lady Lavender stood up and walked around the swing. “You have my heart, Tom.” She stepped right into his chest and his arms closed around her of their own volition.
She fit there, in his arms. It was as if she was made precisely for him.
He wanted nothing more than to accept her offer.
For goodness sake, the woman had just proposed marriage to a servant; if Thomas needed to know that she didn’t love him for his status or wealth, there was no truer moment than this.
Lady Lavender was literally putting all worldly comforts on the line for him.
He had to be brave enough to do the same for her.
“I want to marry you, Lady Lavender, with all my heart. But I cannot. I cannot ask you to endure the consequences of that choice.”
She pulled away just enough to look him in the eyes. “I have weighed the cost, Tom. I am prepared to work and toil alongside you. We could build a life together that is beautiful and worthwhile. We could make each other happy.”
Thomas swallowed. If only that was all she was agreeing to, he might be persuaded.
But dishonor would follow them to the gallows if it were up to Lord Chilcott.
And that was far too great a cost to pay, even for love.
He searched his mind for something that would make her reconsider her hopes. “What of your father?”
Her chin trembled. “I have thought of that as well. He would be devastated, though perhaps not so much as my mother.”
“And your siblings, your nieces and nephews, your friends.” Thomas pulled her to him again. “They all need you, and a life with me would make that impossible.”
“Do you love me, Tom?”
He needed her to know who he really was to answer that question. “I—”
She suddenly pushed up onto her toes and kissed him. His shock only lasted a fraction of a moment before he allowed himself to revel in the press of her velvet soft lips.
Surely she would still love him once she knew he was a duke, wouldn’t she? He wanted to tell her the truth and yet, he was powerless to pull back from her kiss.
His resolve melted as quickly as snow thrown into a fire.
He cradled her head in his palms and threaded his fingers into her wild curls.
He lost himself in the taste of her, trying to convey how much he loved her compassion and sacrifice, her quiet strength and the way she lit his soul aflame.
But more than anything, he wanted her to know that he loved her for loving him as he was, with nothing to his name, no title or wealth to draw her in.
There, in the middle of the moonlit garden, Lavender Gardner reduced him to nothing but a pounding heart laid bare before her.
His words would not suffice to answer her question; even saying them might ruin the moment. They would get to that later.