30. Nicole
NICOLE
As I clutch my phone in my hand, Edie brings me a cup of tea and sits next to me at the breakfast bar in the kitchen.
The whole place is a hive of bodies talking and walking about.
Police officers, family liaison officers, and others whose roles are a mystery to me have taken over the house, and they can do whatever the fuck they want if it means Lucky comes home safe and sound.
“Thank you.” I manage a weak whisper to Edie as she grabs and squeezes my hand. I’m grateful for the contact and the reassuring smile, especially after the phone call I had with Owen a little while ago. I know he’s worried, scared and angry, but so am I.
I honestly don’t know what I thought would happen when I spoke to him, but it certainly wasn’t that. I didn’t think he’d question me like I was a suspect. All I know is I’m drowning in an ocean of pain and fear and I wanted him to help me reach the surface, not weigh me down.
“Do you know how long Lockheart will be?” Edie’s voice is gentle and I shake my head as a tear slides down my cheek. “He’s a bloody idiot, Nico. I’ll kill him when he gets here.”
“No you won't. You're the sweetest person I’ve ever met. You don’t have it in you to harm anyone. He is an idiot, but he’s hurting. He’s lashing out because he’s scared. It’s fine.” I say it with a small smile on my lips, but Edie sees right through me.
She frowns at me and I know it’s not really meant for me. I want to fight his corner for him, but I don’t have it in me. I’ve been wracking my brain all afternoon, answering everyone's questions multiple times, and all I can think about is my son being scared and sad.
Emilia’s managed to keep it out of the press, and already has a press statement ready to go for when it needs to break, but we’re all hoping it won’t come to that.
We’re hoping whoever has him lets him come home.
That it’s all been a misunderstanding and he’s with someone we know.
But I know that’s not going to happen. I’ve spoken to everyone and no one’s seen him.
The family liaison officer believes he’s been taken for ransom.
They also believe it will be Owen’s phone that’s contacted.
It’s why they assume no one has called yet.
They think the house was being watched. Our movements monitored.
They’ve scoured my social media accounts and found nothing that would give away any details of his school—take that Owen.
And as the people closest to us have all been primarily ruled out, no one else would’ve known.
But it would’ve had to have been someone Lucky knew and felt comfortable leaving the school with. He’s not a silly kid, he wouldn’t just walk off with anyone. He has to have known them. But who?
I lower my head, resting it in my hands and twining my fingers into the strands, tugging on the ends to try to jolt some missing information into my memory. The thoughts, the questions, they're all swirling around in there and I’m dizzy and nauseous trying to figure them all out.
I just want him home.
The door slams open, ricocheting against the wall in the hallway, and Owen barrels into the kitchen.
His face is thunderous, his hands clenched in fists at his sides.
He looks at me, our eyes locking for the briefest of moments, and I want nothing more than to run over to him, snuggle into his arms and feel safe and loved. But I don’t.
I remain where I sit, lowering my eyes and waiting for the barrage of questions to come again.
But they don’t. Instead, the chair I’m sitting on is turned around with me still in it and he kneels in front of me, lifting my chin with his finger. And when my eyes meet his again, the pain and fear inside of me is mirrored in his.
“Nico, baby, I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I should never have questioned you like that. I’m just so scared…”
His voice breaks and I’m off my chair before I know it, launching myself into his arms and sobbing uncontrollably. He cradles me and just lets me cry. He absorbs my pain and rocks me gently while shushing me quietly.
The river of tears subsides, and I barely recognize my voice when I finally manage to speak. “Owen, I’m so sorry. I should’ve asked more questions. I just wasn’t…”
He places a finger over my lips and silences me.
“No, Nico. You did nothing wrong. Being so far away, not being here to help, I just felt useless. I was lashing out on you and it wasn’t fair.
We’re in this life together, no matter what.
Through good times and bad, we do this together, and I should’ve remembered that.
You should be slapping me instead of hugging me. ”
He places a gentle kiss on the crown of my head and I sigh into him because he does what he always does, makes me feel safe, seen and understood.
A throat clears behind us and I realise we’re sitting on our kitchen floor surrounded by police officers. I quickly try to scramble off his lap, but he keeps me in place by holding the tops of my arms firmly, fixes his stare on me and mouths “together”.
Tearful and overwhelmed, I nod and rise from the floor with his hand in mine. We turn to face Detective Kincaid, and Owen wraps his arm around my shoulders and brings me into his side. He stands tall and extends his hand to the officer.
“Mr. Lockheart. We have every officer on this. We’re scouring the CCTV from the school and the surrounding areas.
We’re doing door to door inquiries. We will get him back.
As this is a high profile case, we do need to consider ransom demands.
We’ll be putting a trace on both of your phones.
Any contact we get from them we’ll need to keep our cool and keep them on the line for as long as possible. ”
Kincaid’s already been over this with me but I listen intently anyway in case I missed a scrap of information that may be vital for getting Lucky back.
“So what’s the description from the staff member who let him go off with a stranger? I’m assuming they were able to give you one?” Owen’s tone is short and curt, and I squeeze him a little to get him to rein it in.
“Unfortunately, all they were able to tell us was a woman wearing a hat and big dark sunglasses came to get him. She couldn’t see her hair or any distinguishing features and assumed it was Miss Morgan.
Being the girlfriend of a professional footballer, the ‘disguise’ didn’t raise any concerns with her.
We’re just waiting for our IT guys to get back to us with the CCTV footage as some of the cameras unfortunately weren’t working. ”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Owen bellows and I jump at the ferocity of it. “You’re telling me my son’s been kidnapped and there’s no fucking CCTV because their cameras weren’t operational? I swear to God I’ll sue that motherfucking school when Lucky’s home.”
His voice cracks with emotion and my heart breaks a little more. I wrap my arms around his middle and just hold him. Willing the anger away and absorbing it like he did with my pain. I can feel his fear and vulnerability, the ache in his chest with every beat of his heart the same that’s in mine.
“Detective Kincaid, can we go to my room? If there’s any news…”
“We’ll come and get you. It’s fine, Miss Morgan. We will get him back for you. Both of you.”
The detective gives me a friendly smile and I nod back as I take Owen’s hand. When he starts to protest, I turn to face him and whisper, “please.” He sighs deeply, lowers his head in defeat, and follows me up the stairs and into Lucky’s room.
We walk over to his bed and lay down. Owen spoons me from behind and I grab Lucky’s favourite stuffed animal, a rabbit he’s had since he was a baby, and hug it closely to my chest. I inhale deeply, and as his scent fills my nose, I let the sobs wrack through my chest. Deep, all consuming heaves leave my lungs feeling bruised and deflated.
I’ve kept it all together all afternoon.
Tried to hide the thoughts of what could possibly be happening to him from my mind, focusing instead on the details and whether I’d missed anything.
I should’ve known it was too good to be true.
For a short time, I had it all. We were a beautiful family.
Together. Starting our journey. Knowing where we’d been and wanting the same future.
And now I feel like someone swung a wrecking ball and destroyed the path we were on, scattering Lucky, Owen, and myself in all different directions.
Lucky’s face flashes in front of my eyes, his crooked little grin, his blue eyes so like Owens, and his little button nose scrunched up in happiness. My heart aches with the need to hold him. My arms are empty and lost.
“Lucky.”
I manage to whisper into the nothingness as his face disappears.
Owen's arms tighten around me and the heaving of his chest lets me know I’m not alone in this pain.
Turning in his arms, I watch as tears flow down his beautiful chiselled cheeks.
I swipe my hand over them and bring the rabbit up so it’s between us.
Linking us to our little boy. Not mine, not his, but ours.
We let our tears fall freely as our hearts ache, missing our little Lucky.
A beep ricochets off the silent walls and I stretch myself out. My feet hit the end of the bed and I frown. That doesn’t normally happen.
As my senses come back to me, the events of the past day assault me. Owen isn’t here. Lucky isn’t here. Someone has him and I have no idea where he is.
My shoulders slump and I struggle to breathe. I’m cold and hot at the same time. Stifled by the overwhelming sense of fear and guilt. Not able to shake it.
I grab my phone to see what time it is, the screen lighting up with a stream of messages from Angie, Emilia, Teresa and Edie. Shit, Edie. She was here last night. She was waiting with me for Owen to get home and I just left her in the kitchen. I open her text first.
Edie
I’ve left some food in the fridge for you and Owen. Make sure you try to eat something and I’ll come over tomorrow. Love you x
I quickly type a response out.
Me
I’m so sorry I just left you in the kitchen…
Edie
Stop! You don’t owe me any apologies at all. I’m here if you need anything. How’s Owen? How are you? Stupid questions, I know…
Me
I fell asleep. I’m the worst mom in the world.
Edie
For doing something we need to do in order to function and live? Don’t be silly. You’ll need that energy saved for when Lucky comes home.
Edie
Jaxson and the team are on their way home. I can’t promise to keep Jaxy away, but I’ll try if you need me to?
Me
No, let him come over. Owen will need his family.
I quickly use the ensuite bathroom in Lucky’s room, and, still clutching his soft toy, I make my way downstairs.
The house is still a hub of activity, and upon scouring the rooms I find Owen pacing the living room.
Detective Kincaid stands off to Owen’s side—close enough to get his attention if needed, but far enough away to avoid being run over.
He’s on the phone to someone, his head turned away from the doorway, so I head over to them hoping for some update, any update.
Owen spots me before anyone else and stops pacing to stalk over to me.
His eyes blaze with fear and anxiety, which turns the blood in my veins into ice.
His arms are around me before I can ask what's happening and he holds me tightly against his chest. His breaths are coming in short, sharp gasps and my own fear wraps itself around my heart and squeezes.
Something’s happened to Lucky.
No, the kidnappers have called. That’s it. Lucky’s okay, I know he is. My heart’s still beating so his must be too.
Owen's shaky breath brings me out of my own head and I try to calm myself down. Whatever’s happened he needs support right now and I will be the one to give it to him.
I force my breathing to slow down and stroke his hair, placing a gentle kiss on his neck as he breathes deeply.
“Hey, you’re okay. I’ve got you, Owen.” His shoulders relax a touch and he loosens his grip on me a little.
“Is there news? I’m sorry I fell asleep.
” I’m interrupted by his frown and stop talking.
“Don’t be sorry. You needed to sleep. There’s no news yet.
They’ve seen the CCTV footage and managed to track the car he was in, but they lost it after the Blackwall tunnel.
Kincaid’s on the phone with his colleagues in South London.
He’s hopeful they’ll pick them up on some traffic cameras on that side of the river.
I just wish they’d call and tell me what they want. I’ll give them anything, Nico.”
His voice cracks a little, the emotion too much for him to keep in, and I know right now I have to be the strong one. Even though seeing him this open, this raw and vulnerable, is heartbreaking.