AFTERGLOW
Qiang’s POV
There weren’t enough hours between the time we finally crashed before a distant rhythmic pounding pulled me out of my sleep.
Some part of the back of my brain registers that the pounding is coming from down the hall and is most likely someone knocking on my door, which is probably Qi, because who else would knock on my door so early?
But most of that gets shelved for a moment because Marcus’s arm is draped around my waist, our legs are some mish-mash of intertwined, where if it weren’t for the obvious shades of tan and dark brown, I wouldn’t even know whose legs were whose, and his sleeping face is right next to mine.
Deep breaths brush past his thickset lips, and his long lashes lie peacefully against the high cheekbones set in his handsome face.
My chest fills with so much. I went from thinking I had no chance left to waking up in his arms, and I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve such a perfect moment, but it’s so fucking huge; it’s like my entire body is reshaping itself around it, and around him.
Part of me knows he’s far too good for me, that it’s so unfathomably selfish to keep him for myself when I know he deserves so much better. But I don’t think I can help myself anymore.
He’s worked his way into my skin, just opened me wide open and burrowed so deep into the veins threaded through my heart that he’s become a tangible part of them.
I’ll just have to make damn sure not to take it for granted, and maybe then, someday, I’ll actually have earned it, instead of just being insurmountably lucky enough to have it.
In all my life, I have never stayed before.
I’ve never woken up in someone else’s arms. Even back when Kingston and I dated, we were still in high school and did not have sleepovers, and of course, that was a huge no-no with hook-ups.
I didn’t need to wake up with fluttering in my chest for random strangers.
And of course, what I’m feeling for Marcus is far more than any oddball fluttering; it’s an entire earthquake that’s reshaped the chemical makeup of my heart.
And Qi doesn’t really count in this internal sleepover spiral that I’m wrapping my brain around because even though he does sleep over sometimes, he’s my brother.
He has his side of the bed, and I have mine.
There's no meeting in the middle, or waking up with limbs intertwined and faces just inches apart.
Don’t really know why I’m dwelling on such ridiculous shit, unless my brain is snagging at infernal threads to grasp onto while I fight the urge to run, because even though there’s nothing I want more than to stay, I can’t pretend like there’s a part of my brain that isn’t still freaking out.
That it isn’t still screaming that putting my heart on the line again is absolutely reckless and unsafe.
Or that claiming Marcus for myself isn’t the most cruelly selfish thing I’ve ever done, and knowing full well that even though I know that, I’m still going to do just that and own it.
Somewhere along the lines of the last couple of weeks, I think I reached a plateau where I realized it was going to be as painful to never touch this as it was going to be to touch it and lose it.
And maybe that’s wrong; maybe it’ll hurt more if everything goes south because I’ve touched it, but jumping in at least gives me the chance of maybe not having to find out.
Maybe there won’t be a fallout, and we can somehow make this work, but that’s going to depend largely on my trusting him, and I don’t know when or how, but I realized a while ago that I’ve gone from distrusting everything about him to fully recognizing that he’s almost as safe a space for me as Qi is.
Another flurry of knocks comes from down the hall, and Marcus’s eyes flutter open. His eyes meet mine, and his face relaxes into a euphoric smile that has every part of me melting into him. It doesn’t matter that I’ve never stayed before; it’s him, and that’s the only part that matters.
“What are you thinking?” his sleepy voice rumbles while he brings his hand to my face and traces my cheekbone with his thumb. My eyes flutter closed, and I lean into the warmth of his palm, dropping a quick kiss on his skin.
“I’ve never done this before,” I tell him quietly, not sure how he gets me to open up and reveal such simple yet vulnerable threads of myself with just a look or a question.
He raises a skeptical eyebrow, and I realize it sounded like I’ve never done any of this before, which we both know I most definitely have.
“I mean, I’ve never stayed before,” I clarify.
Marcus pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, his eyes searching mine, before letting the lip go and drawing my eyes to the way it bounces back into place.
“Is it too much?”
There’s the slightest hint of insecurity buried in his eyes that he’s trying so hard to hide from me.
He wants me to stay, but doesn’t want to influence me into making a decision I don’t want.
Even at the moments when he’s telling me his basest desires, he still makes constant room for me to know I’m allowed to accept them and deny them without expectations or repercussions.
And I’ve spent most of that time actively denying his feelings, so I get why he’s skeptical.
I didn’t exactly make any of this easy, but now that we’re here, I don’t think there’s any force on this earth that could make me leave.
“No, it’s something I think I could get used to,” I tell him, wanting nothing more than to chase away his insecurities.
I’m instantly rewarded with a radiant smile that spreads across his sleepy face, and it just fills my chest even more with how stupidly happy he is to find me here still in his arms. Like, there’s anywhere I’d rather be.
“I really like the sound of that, and for full disclosure, I’ve never had someone stay before either. But I’ve known for a while that all I want is for you to do just that,” he says simply, his smile giving away how deeply he means it.
A flurry of knocks explodes in the room, telling us that Qi has now moved on from my door and come to Marcus’s door.
Marcus’s brow furrows at the noise, and I giggle at the sleepy, displeased expression at the intrusion.
“It’s Qi. He’s been knocking on my door for a few minutes.”
Marcus breathes out a quiet laugh at that before giving me a skeptical look.
“And you just let him knock?” he asks with sarcastic surprise.
“How rude of a sibling of you,” he teases, and I know he’s starting to really wake up now that the natural Marcusness of his personality is coming up to bat.
“In my defense, I was caught up in your handsome face,” I mutter under my breath at his teasing.
Evidently, it’s still early enough for me to be a bit more honest and forthcoming than normal.
Marcus stills at that, his lower lip dropping just a bit at the comment, and his eyes widen.
His eyes search mine, and there’s so much emotion swimming in the depths of his that while the comment was a simple compliment, it was still wholly unexpected and meant everything to him.
I’ll have to do it more, since it’s obvious how much it means to him, and seeing him look at me like this just makes my chest swell more.
If this keeps up, I might just combust before we even get out of this bed.
“That is gonna take a little getting used to,” he breathes out.
I hiss out a low laugh and smile over at him, reaching up to trace the contours of his face with my fingers. His eyes flutter closed at the simple touch, and he’s so fucking beautiful it’s painful.
Another knock interrupts the moment as it raps on the door impatiently. Marcus’s brow furrows as he looks at the door, then at me, his sleepiness fading even more.
“What do we do?”
“Answer the door,” I deadpan.
I was expecting a sarcastic huff, so I’m a bit surprised when he just nods and starts to get up.
“Right. Yeah,” he says.
He jumps up and fumbles for his shorts since the only fabric on his body right now is a bright red durag.
I lay back for a moment to just appreciate the way his body looks when he moves, my eyes bouncing between his back and the way his corded muscles tense and release, before getting up and putting my shorts on too.
He opens the door enough to talk to Qi, but keeps it closed enough so Qi can’t see inside.
He’s obviously giving me the chance to hide in case I’m not ready for anyone else to know, but with how closely Qi’s been paying attention after everything fell apart, there’s no way he won’t pick up on it in record speed.
And for once, I’d like to share something with Qi myself instead of him finding things out the hard way.
“Hey, Qi. A bit early, isn’t it?” Marcus asks sleepily, and I can’t resist teasing him.
I get up and tuck myself in behind him. With how he’s standing, Qi probably wouldn’t be able to see anyone in here unless he looks down to see my feet.
“You and Tristan are supposed to meet up with the team in just over an hour,” Qi points out, while I run my fingers along the eighty-seven that’s tattooed on Marcus’s back.
Evidently, he, Tristan, and Darryl all got their high school jersey numbers tattooed in the same spot right after they found out Darryl was going to a different university.
A shudder runs through Marcus at my touch, and his voice breaks when he tries to continue the conversation nonchalantly.
“Already?”
“You alright?” Qi asks.
“Yeah, just overslept, sorry,” Marcus mutters out, his arm swinging behind him to shoo me away.
He’d have to dislodge from the door and give us both away if he tried any harder, so I stay put and flit a couple of kisses across his shoulder blades and watch his skin goosebump at my touch.
“Have you seen Qiang? We’re supposed to follow the team bus to the game, but they aren’t answering their door,” Qi asks.
“Qiang?” Marcus asks in a tone that makes it sound like he’s never heard the name before.