Chapter 34
Dom
“Ain't you a sight for sore eyes,” Arnie says, trudging my way as I enter Lilly’s office. It’s impossible not to smile when I see him, and it’s been too damn long.
He welcomes me with a side hug, the same gesture he made when I first applied for the job, as if he couldn’t keep himself from wrapping his arms around me.
Other than my parents and my brother’s best friend—Aspen— I don’t hug.
And Riley.
I do hug Riley.
And I love the feel of her in my arms.
“Come in, son. Let’s talk.” He takes a seat while Lilly stays behind her desk, looking as tired as ever but a little softer, if that even makes sense. Maybe having Riley back here is good for her, even when she’s mad at her.
She’s like walking on sunshine, making everything bloom with her mere presence.
And I’m fucked.
Fucked.
It’s part of the reason why I’ve been avoiding her and working way past my time. She’s been in such a funk about this place and how she doesn’t belong here, and even though I don’t think that’s true, I don’t want whatever is happening between us to feel like I’m trying to tie her down.
I’m so in my head about the situation that I miss Lilly and Arnie both looking at me with concern in their eyes.
I’m getting fired.
“I’m sorry, I didn't hear what you said.”
Lilly intertwines her fingers before placing them on her desk. “I asked if you’re liking the job. How do you feel since Arnie has been scaling back hours, leaving you almost alone the past few weeks? Including dealing with a hurt mare.”
“I like it.” It’s the only thing I can think to say, but it comes out wrong. Cono, Dom, what is wrong with you? “Sorry, not what I meant. I mean, I do like it, but it’s more than that. It feels good, and I’m good at it too.”
“Wow, those are more words than I thought you would say,” Lilly adds.
“I wish I had the words to express what this opportunity means to me. I hope I’m not disappointing anyone.” I search Arnie’s face for a tell, but where I thought I would find sorrow, I find something I haven’t seen in another person’s eyes in a long time—pride.
“I’m glad, because…” Lilly’s words trail off.
Glad?
“I’m retiring,” Arnie says, taking his cap off and putting it on his lap.
We knew this day would come, but I didn’t think it would be this soon.
“That was not the plan, I want you to know that, son. When you started here, what we told you was what we wanted. Someone who could learn in three to five years, and we could transition you into the hand we need. But God had other plans.”
Lilly pushes a mug closer to Arnie. Knowing him, it’s probably lemon tea.
“I’ve been talking to my doctors, and nobody is comfortable with me being out there with the animals and handling machinery or riding a horse when my muscles already show many signs of deterioration.”
I nod, following along.
“I was worried about you, but I drove around today, and you’re bustin’ your ass, ain’t you, son?”
“I’m trying.”
“You're more than trying. You’re doing great. It looks good out there.”
“Thank you,” I reply, a little awkward at the sudden outpouring of kindness and feedback.
“I don’t know what jackpot we hit with you, Dom, but I’m thankful. I don’t know what we would’ve done if you weren’t here.”
“It’s my pleasure. I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but what did you call me in here for? Was it to tell me Arnie’s not coming back?”
Don’t get me wrong. I love the man, and I’m glad he’s taking care of himself and his health, but something tells me that’s not all.
“You know things on the ranch are not great, right?” Lilly asks, and I nod. “Well, we might not be able to hire someone else to help you anytime soon. I need to see how summer goes.”
“That’s alright.”
They look surprised at my statement.
“It’s a lot of work for one person,” she says.
I shrug. “Arnie did it, didn’t he? And before he did, your father did, right?”
“No offense, but they grew up doing this, and we don’t want you to bite off more than you can chew,” Lilly says, matter-of-factly in a serene tone. My mom has that same tone and, no matter how old I am, hearing someone deliver a sentence in that low, calm tone makes my skin crawl.
“Have I slacked?” I ask, even though I know the answer.
“No, but we can’t afford to lose you,” she says, softening her features.
“You won’t. This job and this place mean more to me than you can imagine.”
“If you overdo it and decide to quit, the ranch won’t be able to recover. I want that to be clear.”
“I won’t quit,” I reply.
She nods, blinking slowly before smiling at Arnie. “Could you give us a second?” she asks him.
“I was leaving either way. Treat my girls right, will ya, son?” Arnie taps my shoulder before walking past me and leaving us alone.
What now?
“I’m going to say something, and I need you to not lie to me, okay?”
“I’ve never lied.”
She crosses her legs. “Good. Have you gotten close to Riley?”
Fuck. I might start lying now.
She must see color draining from my face, because she shakes her hands in the air and says, “Not what I mean. I know you wouldn’t go there since she’s so young.”
Oh, this is worse than I thought.
“I don’t know how to reply to that.” It’s the only thing I can think of.
“No need, really. I guess that already answers things. Riley deserves someone in her life like you. She’s gone through a lot, and I think she’s always missed that father figure—you could be that for her.”
I open my mouth, but no sound escapes me, unable to verbally deny her assumptions.
If I did, it would mean I regret Riley, and I don’t.
It would mean I’m sorry I’m spending time with her and sleeping with her, and there’s nothing paternal about our relationship or whatever we are.
And although I’m worried about the repercussions, I’m not sorry, but I also don’t know how Riley wants to handle this, and it’s not my place.
“I asked you to keep an eye on her, and I’m so glad you did. I had to let Arnie retire because I can’t ask that of him, not when his health is so uncertain at the moment, and Riley needs stability. The girl has never had it before, and I think she’s missing it, craving it.”
“She’s not a girl,” I reply. She’s young, that’s for sure, but she’s all woman. She has a childlike spirit, one I’ve come to adore. The polar opposite of her sister, actually. Lilly is all color-coded schedules while Riley is the whole rainbow.
She’s the sun and the birds and good weather after a storm.
She’s all that and so much more, and it has nothing to do with stability.
“She’s a woman and, respectfully, I don't think she’s missing stability. I think she has thrived in spontaneity and the next fun thing. She needs to know she’s valuable where she’s planted.” I use Riley’s words to her own benefit.
Lilly sucks in a breath, tilting her head to the side. “I didn’t know you had gotten to know her that deeply.”
I nod. “She’s hard to ignore.”
She leans into her chair, relaxing, closing her eyes and then whispering, “Riley has no roots. She’s wild like the wind.
She’s staying here for the summer, but the minute camp is done, she’ll leave.
I worry I’ll be down a media manager now, since that’s what she’s doing, I guess.
But then you’ll miss her spark and find it boring here, and you’ll leave too. Then what?”
I didn’t think about this. We haven’t talked about it. About us. “It’s not like that.”
“Oh no?”
“She can leave whenever, and my loyalty to this place and your parents will stay. I care about her, but I care about this place too.”
That’s not a lie, it’s just not the whole truth. But right now, it has opened my eyes to what all is at stake here. If we don’t work out, that can impact a whole business and legacy.
She nods. “Good. I’m glad to hear that. But Dom…Riley has a tendency to burn everything she touches. She’s changed, I’ll give her that. I wouldn’t have trusted her with as much as I’ve given her lately, but I wouldn’t forgive myself if you were something else she burned down as collateral damage.”
I hate that she sees her like that, even after the talk they had the other day.
Riley was beaming with pride after talking to Lilly, seeing how much more responsibility she gave her.
She made some small mistake, and now she’s back to not trusting her.
It hurts me to know she still can’t see the good in her sister.
That’s a heartbreaking thing to hear.
“I don’t think you’re giving her enough credit.”
She shakes her head. “I am. Trust me. I’ve given her more responsibilities than she’s ever had in her life, and she’s doing the best she can, I guess.
I’m happy for her. But once she gets bored, she’ll want to leave this place behind.
Or once she can’t handle the pressure, like ordering too many things. ” She exhales.
“I’m preparing myself mentally for when that happens, but right now, this whole ranch is like a pin-less grenade.
I’m holding the spoon in place, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to do it for longer without help, and I need to trust that, at the very least, you two will be good until the end of summer. ”
“What are you saying?”
I didn’t think I even wanted more with Riley, not until this very moment, when it feels like she’s being taken away from me by her sister’s assumptions that may become true. Do I actually know her as well as I think, and why did I ever think I would be enough for her?
She walks around her desk, propping her back on the door.
“You were right. I should give her the benefit of the doubt and trust she’ll want to settle here and take pride in the work our parents did, but if that doesn’t happen, can I trust that you’d still be there for her?
I don’t want her to lose whatever guidance she has gotten from you.
I really need you here more than ever. The ranch needs you.
The livelihood of so many people does, and Riley having someone to talk to, to guide her when things get rough, is what’s best.”
When I don’t say anything, she lets out a breath. “And maybe if she says anything about leaving, give me a heads up, please, so I can try to mitigate damage and hire someone else before then.”
I nod in understanding, and I think I’m out of the woods until she says the one statement that still haunts me.
“I don’t want to get my hopes up and be disappointed."
I push off the leather chair until I’m standing in front of her. “That won’t happen. But yes, I’ll make sure to let you know if Riley says anything.”
“Oh, and do me a favor? Don’t tell her I know. The last thing I need is for her to storm in here and blow everything up. She’s doing good, and I want her to continue that.”
I dip my head. “Noted.”
The drive to my cabin is quiet but busy in my head. Lilly’s words are bouncing from wall to wall.
She’s disappointed.
Riley will leave.
Everything will burn.
And as much as I’d like to admit we have things under control, maybe Lilly’s right. I can’t keep Riley happy and entertained for long. She’ll find that I’m dull when the new wears off.
It’s time for me to put some distance between us, considering everything. I won’t be able to keep her happy either way; I’ll turn her world dark, and then she’ll leave sooner rather than later, and what a huge risk that would be.
For everyone.