Chapter 20 Will
Chapter twenty
Will stepped outside his apartment building.
He was greeted by a crisp spring day and instantly decided the hint of frost in the air was exactly what he needed.
He abandoned his original plan of hailing a cab and, securing his messenger bag more tightly over his shoulder, he set off heading straight east.
The drive would have been twenty minutes, but walking gave him an hour to clear his mind and practice what he planned to say.
He’d learned from the way Riley had scripted out their scenes for Freya and Abby that having a plan was best because even when they went off script, they still had a general direction they knew they needed to go in.
And although Riley’s plan hadn’t worked out the way they had hoped, the execution of it had been flawless—which was exactly what he wanted.
His thoughts drifted for a moment as he followed that thread.
The Plan hadn’t worked out … right?
Something had been off with Freya these past few weeks.
Something he couldn’t quite put his finger on.
For the first time since he had met her, it felt like a part of her brain was somewhere else.
In the beginning, it seemed like she was almost enjoying a joke that he wasn’t in on.
But in this past week, that distant smile had turned hard, as if she were gritting her teeth to get through each moment.
Then, yesterday, she announced she would be out of town today.
Not that last-minute travel was unusual for her, but the shroud of silence was.
Something was different. But could it be someone—or even one someone in particular?
Riley had been convinced that the wedding would be the final piece of the puzzle for Abby and Freya.
But there had been no wedding, no chance for them to walk up the aisle together at the end of the ceremony or share a microphone for the toasts.
It was another dream, although one much less significant, that had been lost that day.
But if that wasn’t what was bothering her, then what?
He wished she would let him help her, the way she had helped him in more ways than he could count over the past few years. But especially in this last week.
He had hoped that helping her find love would let him repay her in some small way.
Thinking about all she had done for him the past few days, he realized he should probably give her a heads up about what he was going to do.
He pulled his phone from his pocket and called her, but it went straight to voicemail. Instead, he began writing.
WILL: I can’t believe you’re out of town today. Don’t think I haven’t noticed that your calendar is mysteriously absent and you haven’t talked about what you’re doing. We’re going to be discussing this further.
As he typed out his plan, his chest began to tighten into a knot as a slough of emotions intertwined.
There was a chance he was about to make everything so much worse.
But it was a chance he needed to take. Still, seeing it all laid out on his screen made it even more real, and he wished Freya would answer him and tell him if he was doing the right thing.
But maybe it was for the best that she couldn’t talk him out of it.
WILL: Here’s the part that might give you a little heartburn. I need to do it now. I’ve worked up the resolve to do this and I feel like if I wait any longer, I might lose it.
He knew, even as he finished the rest of that message, that he needed to get started. He wasn’t at his destination yet, but he was close enough now that he could make it there by the time he finished.
He tapped out the final words … wish me luck. And then pulled up his Facebook app and, without giving his mind another opportunity to send any doubts his way, he hit “Live.”
Instantly, he saw himself on screen, along with a series of icons, and a large blue button that read “Go Live.”
He’d picked Facebook for two reasons. First, it was one of the only big social platforms that instantly posted the re-play, meaning he had a better chance of ensuring it would be seen right away.
Second, it was also one of the only big platforms that would let people share his Live on the platform as it was happening.
He was counting on all the Wilomi fan groups to start sharing in and out of their communities, to give him the widest reach possible.
He needed to do everything he could to make sure it got circulated enough so that everyone knew. But especially one person.
Before he hit “Go Live” he clicked Tag Person. The first name that popped up was the one he wanted.
With one more tap, the blue Go Live button turned into a red End Live button.
“Okay, here we go. I’m giving this a few seconds to go live.
” The view counter in the upper right-hand corner showed four people were already watching, so he knew that he had done something right.
He had no idea who those four people were, but whether she saw it now or on the replay, he needed her to know that this was all for her. “And hopefully Naomi will see it.”
He had banked on the fact that saying her name would be a catalyst for engagement—and the payout came quickly. Almost instantly, likes and shares started climbing. More viewers wouldn’t be far behind.
“Umm.” He opened his mouth, ready to begin his speech.
But then he realized this was absolutely nothing like what he had done for Abby and Freya.
This wasn’t a performance to try to trick anyone into discovering their feelings.
Even though it was public, this was only for Naomi, and he needed to speak from the heart.
“So, I had this whole speech planned, but now that it’s actually time, I’m realizing it’s all wrong and sounds so stupid. So, I’m going to wing it.”
He inhaled deeply. Being on television, sharing his life with strangers, letting them witness the sweet moments and perhaps one of the worst of his life had made him vulnerable.
But this was about to be so much more. He wasn’t merely going to put his life out there for the world to see, he was going to put himself out there.
“I know everything is a mess. And I know I’m part of the reason for that.
I’m not going to act like I didn’t have every reason to be angry or hurt or confused.
Finding out your fiancée has been married before and that she might have been cheating on you with her ex when you’re seconds away from taking your vows is, well, calling it a nightmare is an understatement.
But I get that abandoning you wasn’t the right move either.
No matter what was going to happen next, we should have done it together.
” He could see the comments starting to pour in, but he knew he couldn’t stop to read them.
“It took me a while, but I get why you didn’t tell me about Simon.
After everything happened, Freya sat me down one morning and told me I needed to wake up and see that I was throwing something important away without even trying to understand it or fight for it.
I didn’t see it that way at first. But when I read your text, I finally started to put it all together.
It wasn’t only that I wasn’t fighting for us now, but I had never fought for us. ”
He had finally come to understand what Riley had been trying to tell him that day.
Good is nice. And nice is passive. He hoped, somewhere, Riley was seeing this too and would know that they had made a difference, even if it had taken a little while for the seed they planted to take root.
“I was comfortable being the good guy who loved you, but good isn’t safe.
And I never showed you that I was safe enough to weather this with you.
In fact, when push came to shove, I proved that I wasn’t.
I ran away without listening to you, and without trying to find out what was happening with you or why you didn’t feel like telling me was an option.
I won’t pretend to even begin to understand what you’ve been through. ”
Comments, hearts, and thumbs up were flying across his screen, and he could see the number of viewers reaching five digits.
“I’ve never had to run from my past. I’ve never had to live in fear of the next knock or text or phone call.
I’ve never had someone go to extreme lengths to manipulate and control me.
I’ve never been let down by a system that was supposed to protect me.
If I had, it would take a lot for me to trust someone enough to share it with them, and I think I would do anything I could to build a new life without those things, even if it meant keeping it hidden from someone I loved.
Once that hit me, I knew if there was any hope for us, then it was time.
I needed to step out of my complacency and it was going to begin by getting to the bottom of all of this no matter what that meant. ”
When he had first read Naomi’s text, he struggled to make sense of it and to reconcile it with the hurt he had been holding onto.
It had seemed like too much to untangle—not only his pain, but now hers too.
It all swirled together in his mind, making it impossible to think straight.
He didn’t know what to believe or who to trust.
It had taken almost a week, but then it had hit him, in an almost comic book light bulb moment.
It was as if his brain had been processing in the background, putting together the pieces from Riley and Freya and Naomi, and when it had completed the calculations, it delivered the results.
He had been sitting at his desk, reviewing documents, when he saw it all, clear as day.
He had stood up, immediately, and walked into Freya’s office.
“I need to fix this,” was all he had said.
Somehow, probably because she was Freya, she knew exactly what he meant. “Finally,” she had replied. “Let’s get to work.”