Thirty-Three
Logan
The mask came off and I let it, because I needed to give myself more reasons not to let him go.
He knows what I look like now, and I no longer care.
I worried more about him changing his mind when he saw who was behind the mask than I did over him turning me in.
He knows now and keeps attacking my mouth with his anyway.
It has him reaching for me more, and I can’t believe I’ve deprived us both of this for so damn long.
Is this me being blindsided? Am I getting dragged into some trap? Who knows, but I can’t make myself care enough to pull away, because he said he wants me and I want him.
He drags my hand to his lap, bucking his hips and moaning into my mouth.
His tongue fucks between my lips and I swallow his eager sounds as I slide down his underwear.
I kiss down his chin and he lies back, tossing off the pillows and tucking one arm behind his head as he pushes my head lower down his body, stopping when my lips are locked around his cock.
“So damn horny all the time.” I pull away only briefly to whisper against his skin, licking and sucking at the pretty thick veins.
“Always needing to be touched here, aren’t you, piglet? ”
“Yes,” he says, nails digging into my scalp. “It’s never felt this good with someone else before.”
I lap at his crown and take him all the way down again. Bobbing my head, I reach between his thighs and squeeze his balls.
“Fuck, Logan.”
Yes, Logan. He’s finally saying my name again. It’s been so long since he’s called me that directly with zero hesitation in his voice. He’s falling apart under Logan and touching Logan. Not the man in the blue mask, but Logan.
“Ohh. Please, Logan.”
“What, my sweet boy? What do you want?”
“For you to fuck me.”
“You want my cock in here?” I shove my fingers under him, circling my thumb around his entrance.
“Yes. I . . . please.”
“I can’t. Not yet. Not in the condition you’re in.”
Tears bunch at the corners of his eyes and he slams a fist on the mattress, his body jerking when I take him to the back of my mouth, my throat tightening around him and causing his cock to leak some more. I hold still, rubbing his hole again, and he comes on a short cry.
He catches his breath, smiling down at me with flushed cheeks as I release him from my mouth with a pop. “Can I tell you something?”
“What’s that?” I say, in between kissing up his stomach.
“I’ve never come with another person before.”
I go still, eyes flitting to his while widening. “What?”
“I thought . . . I thought that was normal. I stopped hoping for it, and then you showed me that wasn’t true. It’s why I didn’t stop you the first time you gave me a bath. I wanted to see if it could happen again and it did. Every time.”
“I’ll make sure it always does too. No matter how long it takes. I’ll make you feel good before I allow myself to from here on out.”
His eyes latch onto mine and he brushes his thumb over my cheek. “So you really meant it when you said you weren’t going to let me go?”
“I did. I do.” I kiss the inside of his palm.
“You really want me?”
“More than anything,” I say.
“I want you too.”
“Who do you want?” I need to hear him say that and my name in the same sentence.
“I want you, Logan. And . . . and . . . I was willing to do whatever it took to stay and that still scares me. Something has to be wrong with me, doesn’t it?”
“Maybe a little, but so many people I know who think they’re right have it way worse than you, and what good has that done them?”
He threads his fingers between mine. “You mean people like Hayden?”
“Yes. He was the one shacking up with my dad all this time. I . . . I had a plan for him. I was going to finally ruin him so bad that he wouldn’t be able to get his way out of it.”
“And what happened?” He studies my expression.
“I chose you first.”
His lips tilt and he pulls me in for a kiss.
We don’t pull away for a long time, and when we do, I make us dinner, sitting him in the chair in the living room so we can talk about more music and whatever else comes to mind.
We watch movies on the couch, and I lay him in a comfortable position, placing his head in my lap.
And just like that we’re closer to having what we once almost got to. What I thought we’d both ruined.
You know what they say? If it feels too good to be true, then it probably is.
He laughs at something on TV, humming sweetly when I stroke my fingers through his hair, and I no longer care what it took to get back here. I only care that we reached this point again and that we’ll never going backward.
It’s going to be hard, but I don’t care what it takes as long as there’s always me and him. There’s a chance it could all still be true and Blake held onto it for so long as he waited for me to return to that barn every day, so I can hold onto it for him now.
My mom comes by every other week to grab more of her stuff and to cook me some of her famous meals.
I enjoy her visits but I hate having to hide Blake every time we have one.
I haven’t put him back in the barn, and he’s finally getting used to not having a cuff on his ankle.
I eventually have to find a way to tell her about him.
We’ve talked about me taking him to his car after he’s mostly healed and him pretending to have left town for work.
We went over different things he could say.
That he had a bad fall while on set or that he was in a bad wreck.
We’ve run through so many different scenarios, finally landing on one.
Blake is excited to get out of the house again and won’t stop talking about going to the bowling alley with me.
He has so many plans for us and all the places he wants me to take him.
“I miss dancing,” he says, setting his hot cocoa down.
“I hate dancing.” I lean back in my chair, looking at the bare trees in the backyard.
“Really?”
“Yeah, but I’m also terrible at it,” I say between chuckles.
He smiles, wiggling his back against the metal patio chair. We’ve been hanging out in the back yard on my days off and sometimes after I get home from work before dinner. “I can teach you,” he says.
“Not sure that will change much.”
“I don’t know. I believe anything is possible at this point.” He grins, laying his hand over mine. “If this thing between us is, then anything is.”
“There’s still time for there not to be.”
His posture stiffens. “Because you might change your mind?”
“No.” I lightly squeeze his hand. “Because you might change yours.”
He grows quiet for a bit, looking in the direction I’m looking.
“I guess either of us could at any given time, but that is how relationships work. You never know if they’ll last or not.
I always hated the not knowing aspect of things, but doing it alongside someone who feels the same may not be so bad. ”
“So, we’re in a relationship now?” I curve my lips.
“Yeah. Yeah, we are.” His lips lift higher. “And I think we’re already three steps ahead of most people. We’ve both already fucked up so many times, there’s only one way left to go.”
“I’m still not sure I know exactly where we’re supposed to go from here?”
He leans into me, tightening his hold on my hand. “I think we’re automatically going there on our own, and the bumpy roads often lead to the best scenery.”
I laugh and kiss his nose. “If that means it’ll get better than this, then I’m okay with there being a few more bumps.”
“Me too.”
Who knew the guy I once couldn’t wait to get away from would one day become the person I’d never want to be apart from again.