Thirty-Five
Blake
I can’t stop thinking about how Logan looked at me days ago, with a mixture of confusion and worry.
He might think he knows my plan, but I’m not sure he has the slightest idea.
We need a solution for more than one problem and the idea that came to me after Logan’s dad got arrested again could mean us turning his good luck from fifty to one hundred percent. It could mean a lot of good for us.
I want to move forward like he does, but my idea of moving forward might look a little different from his.
The thing is, we can’t be the same people we were before he brought me to his barn.
Those two men are gone. The good and bad parts of them.
I don’t know if that makes us better or worse now, but it does make us different.
I’m okay with how we are now, though, because we’re together, and I won’t let anyone take me away from something I’m certain I can no longer live without.
I refuse to be without the man who makes it easier to breathe in every room I walk into.
No one’s ever tried this hard for me, and I’m enjoying spending each day seeing how far that goes.
Logan walks into the room in his uniform, giving me a once?over as I lift the blanket, spreading my legs and stroking myself.
He licks his lips, walking closer as he removes his utility belt, setting it on the edge of the bed. “What do we have here?’
He unbuttons his shirt and kicks off his pants, and I’m not sure which part of him to focus on more. He’s easily one of the sexiest men I’ve ever seen, and it’s hard to look anywhere else anytime he’s in the room with me.
“Why don’t you hurry up and get naked so you can come over here and find out.” I spread my thighs wider, bending my knees so he can get a better view of my hole.
“Fuck, you’re gorgeous. I’ve been thinking about all the things I want to do to you all damn day at work after you sent me those filthy pictures during my lunch break.”
“What are you waiting for? Come do them to me.” I dig my heels into the mattress, lifting my hips halfway off the bed, and a small growl slides up his throat. My cock strains and I fuck harder into my fist.
“Stop that,” he demands, and my hand freezes.
“But it feels so good,” I whine, moving my hand up and down again.
“I said stop that. I want to be the only one touching you for the remainder of the day.”
“Why?” I cock a brow.
“Because, I want you making those sounds only because of me, and when you do get to touch yourself again, it’ll be because I told you to.”
My hand falls to my side and he smiles. “Good, boy”
My breaths stutter and my hole twitches when his cock falls free from his underwear. My mouth waters when precum beads on the head of his cock, and I press my ass to the bed, sucking on my bottom lip.
“Please,” I say, watching him like a lion does his prey as he crawls onto the bed naked.
“Please what?” He kisses one of my legs, looking between them with hungry eyes.
“I need you to say it.” I choke on my next breath as he rubs his face over my crotch while inhaling deeply.
“What do you need me to say, sweet boy?”
“I . . . fuck.” My mind temporarily shuts off when he rubs his nose into my pubes and the stubble on his jaw tickles my cock, creating an amazing sensation I didn’t think would ever feel this good.
“I can’t say it if you don’t tell me.”
“You know what to say already. You’re saying it with your eyes and body.”
“I want to hear what you think my eyes and body are telling you.”
“I want . . . I want you to tell me you want me.” My words come out broken.
His smile stretches and he licks a stripe up the center of my body. He kisses my chin and then collarbone. “You really need to hear it, don’t you?”
“Yes.” I look down at him, struggling to keep my breathing steady.
“What if someone else said it to you? Would it be good enough?”
It used to, but I only want to hear it from someone who means it now. He’s taught me that there’s no better feeling than that. “No,” I finally say.
“Why is that?” He strokes below my lower lip and it trembles.
“Because it only means something when you say it.”
He’s not only smiling with his lips but with his eyes too. “That’s right. No one else will ever be enough now you know what it’s like to have more.”
“Please say it. Please.”
“I love how needy you get when it comes to getting the smallest things from me.”
It’s not small. None of what he gives me is. He does it with all of him, and it’s all I ever wanted. To give myself to someone fully while having them do the same. “This small thing is bigger than you realize.”
“Is it?”
“Yes. It’s everything when it comes from the right person.”
“You really still think we can be that for each other? After being wrong for so long?”
“Neither word can exist without the other, can it?”
“No.” He kisses my chin. “It can’t.” His lips press to my cheek and he swipes away tears I didn’t realize were pouring from my eyes. “And you can’t really understand what wanting is until you’ve felt rejection first.”
Is this why we’ve had experience of both from each other? I grab his face, pulling it toward me, but he holds my wrist, preventing our mouths from touching. My chest falls, dipping so slow I almost think it’s crushing my heart.
“Logan,” I cry, not recognizing my own voice.
He stays where he is, forcing my hands down to my sides, and when I lift my face to close the distance between our mouths he pulls back, shaking his head like it’s hurting him to do this too.
He’s struggling to keep his smile, his eyes holding so much pain in them.
He’s not only showing me what I can no longer go without. He’s showing himself too.
I turn my head, looking away from him before closing my eyes, and more tears fall.
“Look at me.”
I rock my head from side to side, my eyes remaining shut.
“Is this you keeping something from me because I’m keeping something from you?”
“We both have to let go to get what we want. You taught me that.”
“Did I?” His brows push tightly together.
“Yes. We do things without knowing we’re doing them sometimes. A part of you knew what was best before the rest could agree. It’s why I wanted you in that bar. Why I wanted you during our secret meetups. It’s why I wanted you when I saw the worst of you and why I want you now.”
He grabs my chin and his lips claim mine, my tongue reaching for his like a lifeline.
When he breaks the kiss first, I open my eyes, and he rubs his nose over mine, smiling again.
“I want you, Blake. I want you so fucking much. I wanted you when I first came back and thought I wanted to hurt you. I wanted you when I trapped you in a barn and made you feel bad about yourself. I wanted you when you showed me how sad and pathetic you were. But now I want you because I can’t think of a reason not to. ”
“And now that you’ve told me, you can show me.” More than my lips are smiling too. My eyes and my heart.
He claims my mouth with his, rubbing his cock over mine. He grinds harder against me and we moan in unison, our smiles also joining together.
His kisses travel to my neck and stomach, and he delivers more to each of my thighs before breaking my legs apart with his knees. Lifting me by my hips, he spits on his fingers and rubs them over my hole, his eyes glinting. A deep rumble falls from his lips. “Someone got ready for me already.”
“I didn’t want to waste any more time than we already have.”
“We have wasted a lot, haven’t we?”
I nod, my throat tightening when he lifts my hips, blowing warm air over my hole as he dips his face lower.
As he’s lifting back up, one finger slips past my entrance, my tight channel loosening with each plunge inside me.
“Good thing we won’t be doing that anymore.
” He shoves another finger inside me and I arch my body.
“Good thing,” I say, moving in sync with his hand.
“Such a slutty little hole.”
“I want you and so does my body.”
“Let’s keep giving it a reason to keep wanting me, then.” He removes his fingers and nudges my hole with his cockhead. “I’ll make you feel so good, you’ll forget everyone before me ever existed.”
I already have, but before I can say it out loud, he shoves himself inside me in one thrust, causing my thoughts to take a back seat to everything else.
This is me giving him all of me. I’m only thinking of where he is and how he’s making me more his.
He lifts his hips and slams them down harder, my thighs shaking.
He attacks my neck with his mouth, sucking on my sensitive skin as his cock grinds over my sweet spot.
My nails are digging into the sheets. He wants me, and I’ve never felt more like his than I do now.
I feel owned. I feel loved. I feel him. It’s like he’s everywhere inside me.
My body molds to his, and I don’t think I got pleasure like this from anyone else before because my body wasn’t made for them. It was meant for only him.
I’m shaking from what he’s giving me now.
Everything feels so good. He’s taking all the air away from me only to give it back in a way that somehow helps me breathe better than before.
He plunges in and out of me, the overwhelming sensations building up everywhere he’s touching.
My body tenses, my head going fuzzy as heat pools in my stomach.
I’m growing hot all over and it’s as if a fever has come over me.
If this means I’m sick, then I’ll gladly be that for him. I’ll be whatever he makes me.
Our skin slaps together as his rhythm grows off-kilter, and I’m vibrating all over, my orgasm getting closer as our bodies make filthy sounds together.
“You feel so good, piglet. Better than I could ever have imagined.” He licks at my parted lips and I moan, tilting my head back. His cock hits in all the right places, over and over, those eyes pinning mine in place. It’s like they’re telling mine to stay open so I can watch him fall apart with me.
“You . . . so good,” I say between heavy panting.